Especially when you see them everday.
2007-01-03 08:07:37 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AmyB: My wife attracted to someone else besides me. Is that possible?
Seriously, that's a good answer.
2007-01-03 08:17:01 · update #1
Keep thinking about how you would feel if your spouse was attracted to someone other than you.
2007-01-03 08:14:12 · answer #1 · answered by AmyB 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
1. Ask yourself if this attraction is worth losing a spouse over
2. If you and your spouse are having issues, work them out. Take responsibility for making things right; don't use an attraction to someone else as an excuse to stray.
3. Stay away from the object of your attraction as much as reasonably possible.
4. When all else fails, go back to Number 1
Married or not, we're always going to find members of the opposite sex attractive. We're human; but we also have the ability and responsibility to make good decisions, especially when those decisions impact someone else...like a spouse.
2007-01-03 16:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, it's tough - real tough! This is especially true if your young and have a strong libido. Also, is the attraction mutual or one-way? If it seems mutual, watch out because you can easily get burned. Also, I would analyze why you feel attracted to this person. What is it that you, your partner, or your relationship lack? Is it just your perception or is does your partner feel the same way? I'd seek answers to this questions and more. Think it through and don't do anything you'll regret for the rest of your life. Good Luck.
2007-01-03 16:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by [><] Rebel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of levels to this.
First, I'm attracted to most women. Most of the time, I just apreciate from affar and forget about it when the object of attraction isn't arround. Like an expensive piece of art. You admire the beauty and go on with life.
The next level is someone that I have to interact with daily. If I have to interact with a woman that I find attractive daily, then I build buffers to protect us from "unfortunate" circumstances. These can be physical (changing the arangement of my desk so it's between her and I) or behavioral (not calling on her for more than three questions a day if I'm teaching a class she's in.)
The next level is a woman that is attractive, and is attracted to me, and says so. These people I go out of my way to make myself unattractive to. I had one girl once that after she came out of the training class I taught, she declared her undying love for me. She was engaged, I was married. So I told her I don't share well, so she'd have to leave her fiance, but I'm not leaving my wife for her, so she better get used to sharing, that I'm not up to raising another man's kid so she'd have to give her kid to her fiance one it was born, that I wanted something I could blackmail her with so she couldn't call my wife and blackmail me, and that she had to be avaliable any time I called. It scared her off.
A level beyond that (that's never happened) would be a woman I was attracted to, and that was attracted to me, but that we "didn't say anything," even though it was obvious. I think in that situation, I'd do a combination of the second level and the last one.
2007-01-03 16:51:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think thats kind of normal. In this world there always going to be a person better looking then you or your spouse. So you find your self attracted to other people. Not good. I just hope you don' t act on it. You say you see them everyday. Look you can't help that. We (people) have to in to act with one other. Thats life. But when your head turns more then the 1 time you need to look then you cross the line. Your putting yourself out there to feel attracted to other people.The other people are not doing it, you are.
2007-01-03 16:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing to do would be NOT to see her everyday, even if you have to change jobs! Get rid of the temptation. The next thing, if you can't avoid seeing her, is to ignore her & think other thoughts that don't lead to lust or desire. Read "Every Man's Battle," by Steven Arterburn. And remember, the grass is NOT greener on the other side! You might even want to confess to your wife that you are being tempted and ask her for help. What ever you do, don't cheat - men look bad enough!
2007-01-03 16:13:06 · answer #6 · answered by Forever 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you think it has to be practical in your view, there may not be any.
Frankly, you should have been smart enough to realize that just because you got married didnt mean you would not find others attractive. The being attracted isnt the problem, for you cant help but see others. What you have to do is stop and think. You already made your choice and your promises to God and your mate, not to mention yourself too. Just remember that and deal with it.
2007-01-03 16:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Accept that it's a normal part of being human, so you don't wind up over-analyzing it. Don't spend any more time with the person than absolutely necessary for work purposes. Cherish your spouse, who has committed their life to you. Be a grown-up about it. Understand that the sacrifice is worth it.
2007-01-03 16:13:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jess H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not make opportunities to be alone together. Particularly if the feeling between you is mutual.
Think of your partner. Put yourself
in his/her shoes. How would you feel? Look - don,t touch!!
2007-01-03 16:27:12 · answer #9 · answered by Minxy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will always be attracted to other people; you're married, not dead. Just keep the trouser snake where it belongs (in your pants) and enjoy the view.
2007-01-03 16:21:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋