We didn't have the perfect scenerio I can't leave because I have a child. He was in the process of moving to a location that we could all move to and suddenly he was afraid that his carrer would take a plumit and then we wouldn't be happy. He had been in my home for a month and a half while we were making the move and now he went back to the apt in the city that he was trying to get rid of. He says that we need to change the game plan that we need to come up with a better solution, however I feel like "hey he's gone, yes I love him but move on with your life befpre he continues to hurt you anymore" I kow thats not the best possible approach but I just don't think that he is ready and think that he is looking for some possible out.
2007-01-03 07:55:14 · 10 answers · asked by tullabelle30 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you're not clear on why he's stepping back, ask him and get specifics. What are his suggestions for a new game plan? What is he offering as a better solution?
Its sounds like you are having a reaction to his change in plans and not fully understanding what those changes are. If you do that, you're bound to read more into the situation than what there is; you're already writing the final chapter without understanding what you've read. He didn't say he wanted to end the relationship, he said you needed to come up with a different plan.
Don't make any assumptions or jump to conclusions. Communication is key in any relationship...so just ASK him: Find out what his challenges are (commute, proximity to business resources, whatever.) You haven't given him an opportunity to understand how you feel or yourself a chance to CLEARLY understand what the deal is.
It would be a shame for a good relationship to go down in flames over poor communication or a misunderstanding. Talk to him.
2007-01-03 08:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made definite planes and he obviously backed out, and it's really not what you or your child needs. He is unstable and not ready to make this commitment. and if you get yourself into a relationship with someone like this, you are always putting yourself on the edge of uncertainty and insecurity.
Before this gets any further, and you find yourself plucked out of your environment make sure you do some serious thinking. The last thing you need is trying to start over on your own, with a child in a strange place, while he may kick you out of his apartment.
2007-01-03 08:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I believe that we are all given intuition and it is up to you listen to your gut or ignore it. It is possible that he has gotten cold feet and decided to make another decision, or it is possible that he is truly thinking of your future and wants to make sure that he is able to provide a life for you that you are accustom to. If you truly love him you may need to hear him out if his plan sound too ridiculous then move on, but all in all follow your heart!
2007-01-03 08:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal sweetie, you are hurt and when people get hurt, they tend to look at the situation as more than it is. When I read what you wrote, I can see that maybe he really is worried about his career. He suggested coming up with another plan, which is a good sign. Don't give up just yet. Let things work themselves out :)
2007-01-03 07:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
go with your gut don't put you and your child thru this BS. It sounds to me like he is not ready to settle down in a home with you and your kid. He came stayed had some fun with you now he wants his single life back in his own apartment. He's not a father role model not going to be a responsible husband if his needs are coming 1st. Tell him he decides or he can stay gone.
2007-01-03 08:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you feel like "hey he's gone...." then maybe you really should move on. Love/relationships take a little work but they shouldn't hurt. Ever notice that after you leave the one who you thought was it, you found someone better? Take the lessons you've learned and apply them to a new relationship.
2007-01-03 07:59:22 · answer #6 · answered by Joe 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds to me like he is, and has already left by his choice.Did he explain his motives before he left... no...Did he hurt you? Well, if he left you of course he did but 1st you need to find out the head game...What is he doing?.
2007-01-03 08:14:54 · answer #7 · answered by don t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
follow your gut honey. dont let a man guide your life and ruin it. you have a child. for now on think with your head and not with your heart.
2007-01-03 07:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by renosgirl2006 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should worry about your child first and if this guy wants to be with you, he will come around and hopefully you will still be interested. for now, your first and foremost priority is your child!
2007-01-03 08:05:29 · answer #9 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you know him better than anyone else here...and that you also answered your own question.
2007-01-03 07:59:23 · answer #10 · answered by Chas8870 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋