To put it simply, I'm straight but I have a serious infatuation with my gay friend. My question is especially directed to gay guys because I was wondering, even though I doubt it, is there ANY possibility that he could sway to bisexual even after he has come out as undoubtedly gay?
I know it might be a stretch and just wishful thinking, but I've been in love (well, "love" might be too strong a word) with him for over a year now and I figured some first hand homosexual opinions on here would be the best way to find out if I truly have no hope and need to completely move on. Gay guys: Is there any chance that /you/ would ever become bisexual even now that you've come out of the closet?
Thank you in advance for any help.
2007-01-03 07:46:34 · 19 answers · asked by ♫ Silence 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Hi there, Breein. Thanks for answering my question, pumpkin... I'll see you tomorrow.
2007-01-03 08:06:30 · update #1
One of my "straight" friends told me that everyone is a little bit gay. So when I was talking to a gay guy, I asked him "if everyone is a little gay, does that mean everyone is a little straight?" and he told me "yea, but I'm more gay." (Neither of these guys know I'm gay.) So there is a small chance but I doubt the attraction will be strong enough. I tried dating a girl... she broke up with me since we never talked. I felt nothing for her, or any female... exept one but that's a whole different story.
2007-01-03 08:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I gave your question a thumbs up. If straight people can realize they are bi, can gay people realize they are bi? I too happen to have an infatuation with a guy of questionable orientation, and...well, is there any hope? I think both of us are screwed though. And not literally in this case. This isn't an answer to your question really, I just saw you on here, and because I am a big enough geek to actually know you, I had to say hi.
2007-01-03 07:57:38 · answer #2 · answered by Breein 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, the straight fake version, as you put it, is not a fake version at all. Just because someone's gay it doesn't mean he'll transform into a flaming queen the instant he's out. My advice is to just tell the guy that you're not bothered by his sexuality (for god's sake do not say that "it's his choice") and you just wanna hang around together still. But in answer to your intitial question, no they don't. I've been out for ages to my friends and I'm still the same annoying slightly geeky quiet guy I was before. Well, quiet's a lie but ya know. :P
2016-03-29 06:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by Deborah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anything's possible, I suppose, but I have yet to see or meet a woman who does anything for me.
I can't speak for your gay friend. However, if I were in your friend's position, I think I would find your feelings hard to deal with if you insisted on acting upon them, and any sexual advances would certainly be unwelcome.
The real issue here, though, is not whether your gay friend can be induced to swing the other way for you. The issue is recognizing that you deserve a guy who can freely love you back as much as you love him.
2007-01-03 11:31:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a lot of biphobia in the gay community, espeically towards bisexual men. Some of the most open, public, gay activist gay men on my college campus confided in me that they were actually bi, they just didn't want to deal with the pressure so they pretending to be 100% gay. That is the downside of being openly bisexual, everyone gay or straight, feels like they should confess their inner bi-ness to you.
So it is possible that your guy is secretly bi. *However*, I would mark the chances of him *ever* getting with you as Not. Bloody. Likely.
Because most of the secretly bi gay men I've known have no interest in giving up the privledge of just being gay. They are mostly intersted in gay men, in the gay male social scene, their gay male friends, gay male interests, and gay male politics. Its a lot to give up for anyone. Most secretly bi gay men just don't want to give that up. None of the guys who ever confessed their bi-ness to me have gone on to date women.
Also, if he really was secretly bi, and IF (this is a big IF) he had feelings for you too, he probably would have moved on them by now. If it has been a year and he hasn't made a play for you, he isn't going to. Sorry to dash your dream, but thems the breaks.
And I've known SOOOOOO many straight girls (including a former best friend) throw YEARS of their life away on being in love with a gay man. I would guess for every one time it does work out, there are a million times it ammounts to nothing. I think it is just time to fold your hand here and move on.
2007-01-03 11:34:50 · answer #5 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's becoming quite apparent that sexuality is a "fluid" situation for many people, however some aren't quite so bendable. I know I'm not, I'm lesbian with no chances of being remotely interested in the opposite sex. The only thing is to talk to him and he'll tell you where he stands himself, and I think you could do it without revealing your feelings for him. Don't get your hopes up too high though.
2007-01-03 08:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by vinslave 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if someone is 100% gay, then i don't think there is anything you can do to change that. people don't change their sexuality like an on and off switch.. it is something we are all born with, whether we like it or not.
you may be the greatest girl in the world, but if he's gay, then he won't likely ever have those type of feelings for any girls..
but if he is bi, and just doesn't know it yet, then sure, there is a chance for sure..
2007-01-03 08:22:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm bisexual, and would love to have both a m and a f playmate.
My guess would be no chance with a true gay man.
2007-01-03 07:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by ilswallow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...i've been "out" since i was 16. I must say I'm mostly gay than bi coz plainly i've never been with a woman (YET). Although...IF i knew a cute girl liked me and i had genuine feelings for her (even as a great friend) i'd go with her! but...a word of advice...if you DO get him that far...don't pressure him otherwise you'll lose him as a friend too...let him decide what he wants to do...
2007-01-05 02:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably no hope of him wanting to lay down with you unless he want to try it, which has happened. I wouldn't get my hopes up though... Just a little question to you... Why are you so attracted to him? Is there not a straight guy out there that turn you head?
2007-01-03 08:17:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋