Has anyone felt guilty for quiting breastfeeding?

Question

I'm thinking of quiting bf because my baby is 3 months and not gaining much wieght but still eats every hour. I've been going to a consultant for the 3 months and am taking domperidon (which makes me very sick). The lactation consulatant can't help me anymore and my supply is getting lower and lower. I can't stand to see my baby hungry all the time. When I give her formula she doesn't need to eat for at least 3 hours. Has anyone else had the same experience?

Answer 1

Have you tried a La Leche League Leader? Maybe she would have some ideas the LC hasn't tried.

Have you tried herbal supplements instead of the domperidone? Fenugreek is the most commonly used one. Take 3-4 capsules 3x per day. You can also combine this with Blessed Thistle in the same dosage.

Have you tried pumping in addition to nursing? Pumping after nursing sessions might help you boost supply.

Has the LC checked the baby's latch? If baby isn't latched on well, then she isn't going to be able to get as much milk. Any chance that the baby could be tongue tied? This could complicate nursing. How are your nipples? Sore or OK?

Have you ever had any breast surgeries? Are you taking any other medications (like birth control) that could be having an effect on your supply?

Have you tried doing breast compressions while nursing to help her get more hindmilk with each session?

What is her weight gain like? Is it within the realm of normal gain? An average of 5-7 oz per week would be normal at this age.

Answer 2

I had the exact same thing happen with my daughter Kathryn(now 11 wks old). By the time she was a month old, I basically was bone dry. So from 2 wks on, I was supplementing with formula, and every time I had to give her a bottle, my heart would break a little.I would start crying and I felt like I was a failure as a mom. I didn't understand why breastfeeding wasn't working out for me this time because I breastfed both of my boys without any problems at all. The worst part about my experience was the lack of support from my boyfriend. Whenever she would start crying to be fed, he would start making a bottle. It was like he didn't care about my efforts to continue nursing. I know it also bothered him some that she was kinda small and lost just over a pound in her first week.
Even though I feel guilty about having to stop breastfeeding, it makes me happy to know that she's now growing like a weed. She's gained over 4 pound in the first two months.
Don't beat yourself up about stopping breastfeeding because sometimes it just doesn't work out the way you want it to. If your baby is hungry, satisfy her hunger the best you can. If that means formula, then so be it.

And don't let anyone try to make you feel more guilty by telling you that you should never stop trying to feed your baby breast milk. Just tell them to MYOB and do what you know to be right for your child.

Congratulations on the new baby and take care.

Answer 3

I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal it is not easy having a baby in the hospital right after having her. Some of the arias that went wrong and are causing some of your problems today are: 1) The nurses supplementing when you were not there. 2) The first thing she was introduced to was the bottle so that is what she knows. They call that nipple confusion. 3) If you weren't pumping when they were feeding your baby then your body won't know how much milk to make. Other answers you got are also right about the breast being best but it sounds like your over working your self. If you want to continue with breast feeding you are going to need the help and guidance of your lactation consultant. you can find them at the hospital were you had the baby. They should help you get your supply up to baby's demand and help you get the little one to nurse better. If it doesn't work you can at least tell your self that you did all you could. You need to take care of your self so that you can take care of your little girls. Good luck with it. I hope you chose to breast feed but don't beat your self up if you have to stop and use formula. You couldn't control much of what happened to get you where you are.

Answer 4

My son was born 8lbs 13oz and stayed in the high 90 percentile for weight and length. He wanted to feed every 2 hours for an hour at a time. I felt strapped to my rocking chair and couldn't get anything done. It was very difficult to have a shower even. I had to wait until he passed out to get anything done and because I was feeding sooo much I was exhausted. After 3 months I said enough was enough and I started pumping to put in a bottle feeding him by the breast only at night. After a couple weeks of this my breasts stopped making milk and he was strictly on formula. I felt it was necessary for my son's well being and MY sanity... but yes I felt guilty. SOOO guilty. I'm glad I did it though. When my stress levels were lower i was able to enjoy my baby more and share the joy of feeding with my loving husband :)

Answer 5

I was very stressed out with my first baby and she was in the neonatal intensive care unit just days after her birth. Although I pumped my milk and they let me nurse her, my milk supply wasn't up to par. I used an herb called Fenugreek which helped increase my supply but by the time she was 6 weeks old I decided it was best for me to start supplementing with formula. Considering I was still very hormonal from the birth, I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt for quitting so soon. In retrospect, and after coming down off the hormones, I know that as long as I was loving her and taking care of her, it didn't matter how she got fed as long as she was eating! She is now eleven years old and I guarantee that she doesn't remember how she got her nourishment as a newborn. She loves me as much as a completely breastfed baby would!

Answer 6

I breastfed my son for less than a week, and felt horrible for "giving up". I got over that as soon as I saw how much happier he was when he was getting enough to eat! (He was 10 lbs., 8oz. and I just couldn't keep up!) He slept better, and in turn, so did my husband and I. I think you should give yourself a lot of credit for going this long, and hope that whatever decision you make brings you happiness. Your child has benefitted from breastfeeding and you should be really proud! If you have more children, later, don't let this one deter you from trying again - I had much better luck with my daughter and loved every minute of it, when it had been torture to feed her brother!

Best of luck to you, follow whatever makes you happiest because that will go a REALLY long way toward making your baby happy too! Life will be so much sweeter!

Answer 7

i dunno if its just me, but i think my milk supply is low to begin with. my baby is 3 weeks old and had a hard time nursing at first because she was 5 weeks early. my milk supply dried up for a couple days but came back and she nurses very well now. but unfortunately, thats not the problem anymore. shes ALWAYS hungry! i feed her at least every 2 hours and shes still crying by the time that she comes off the breast. i supplement her with formula and she grabs the bottle in my hands and drinks it like shes desperate. shell even drink up to 4 ounces from a bottle and for her, thats a LOT at one time. i dunno what to do either. i am glad that my milk came back, but maybe its not enough because i cant seem to get anymore than 2 ounces when i pump. i dont want to quit breastfeeding but if im supplementing her so much, then whats the point? i think that you need to do what you think is best for your baby. i know exactly how you feel and i HATE seeing my baby girl so hungry.

Answer 8

Ok, listen. Don't feel guilty. I had a breast reduction. I gave my son the breast first, then finished him off on a bottle. He didn't gain an ounce while in the hospital (was there for 4 days). I had a breast reduction. Over 40% of my milk ducts were destroyed. My reduction was done 15 years ago when they just went in a chopping not saving anything, so I was facing complete and total bottle feeding. The fact that I could give my son 1 ounce of milk was a miracle, but then again, when he was 2 mos old, he CLAMPED down. Nope... nada... no guilt there. Off he went, I banned him from the breast for nipple chomping and he went bottle after that. Do I feel guilty because he has asthma and a peanut allergy that MAY or MAY not have been caused by NOT breast feeding him up to a year? NO. Why? Because who's to say for all certainty that my not breast feeding my son was the cause of his asthma considering myself and my 5 sisters are asthmatic and my husband's sister and her son are too as well as her being food allergic (fish, nuts, eggs, etc, etc). Seems to me those nipple nazi's at the hospital who actually told me that I was lying about my destroyed milk ducts and that I could breast feed or risk my son getting asthma didn't know about his near 100% probability that he would be asthmatic. I wasn't shocked when he was, nor upset because I know what to do about asthma but I sure as heck didn't feel guilty about it. Besides, his asthma is only a fraction of what mine is. I feel good about that because to me, it's an upward evolution in my family's health history. Basically hon, I don't feel guilty because I'm a good mom and I'm sure you are too. I'm sick of society judging women (mothers or not) because some of us want to do our own thing and not jump on the societal bandwagon. If you feel guilty, then take a look at where that guilt is coming from. In the meantime, proudly take out that bottle of formula in public and pop it in your daughter's mouth. 30 years ago, it was considered disgusting to put a woman's nipple in a baby's mouth - we were considered caged in the home being wives and mothers. Now all of a sudden, it's a crime not to put your breast to your baby. I wish society would stop trying to write rule books to tell us what instincts are considered acceptable.

Answer 9

Feel guilty! Absolutely NOT! I'd feel guilty if I continued breastfeeding KNOWING that it was not best for my baby. You want them to be healthy as possible and if that means no more breastfeeding (and not more big ta-tas) then so be it.

Perhaps you don't need to quite though. You can do both bottle feed and breastfeeding....it doesn't have to be one or the other. Bottle feed formula for the day, and at night you can still breastfeed. It's definately a bond between you and your baby (that no one else can have with your child). I'd stick with BOTH!

Good luck.

Answer 10

Every time you supplement with formula you decrease your milk supply. Spend a weekend in bed nursing your baby as much as she wants to increase your supply. There are also herbs and different foods you can eat to increase it as well. Formula keeps her satisfied longer because it is harder to digest. Breastmilk is digested in less than 90 minutes. It is common for breastfed babies to eat every hour, especially during a growth spurt. My 7 month old nurses every one to three hours depending on if she's had cereal, and if she's growing. You are doing FINE and as long as your baby is gaining weight don't worry. She is getting enough to eat!!