Our good friend and his wife are having problems at home and he says he just doesn't love her anymore. She's like a best friend, or something like that, he says. I asked him if he couldn't work things out with her and he said again that he just doesn't love her. At first, I thought he'd change his mind, but he and his wife are growing further apart and for the first time in 13 years, he has cheated on her. I'm trying to understand what he means when he says he doesn't love her anymore. He doesn't seem angry at her and he doesn't mistreat her. He just goes along, day after day, as if he doesn't care. What could have brought him to this point?
2007-01-03 07:25:56 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I forgot to mention that over the last 3 years, he has said from time to time that he didn't think he loved is wife anymore. We just brushed him off, however, thinking he'd bounce back.
2007-01-03 07:51:44 · update #1
seems like he got tired of being with her.... if she is in love with him deeply ... its going to be hard to get rid of her... last time i did that i just went out when ever the hell i felt like it and came back when ever i pleased without mentioning or saying where i was going or when i was coming back....i finally got rid of her b/c she said i was cheating.... i didnt care i was tired just like the person you describe...
2007-01-03 07:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by Silly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the marriage has become stagnant. it's the same routine every day. what they need to do is send the kids (if they have any) to a sitter, and just go out on a date. do things they did when they first met. maybe even write little cutesy notes to eachother, and leave them in places they know the other will find them. another key thing is communication. many marriages today, the communication is nothing more than a series of IM's and text messages.
sadly, if none of this works and they continue to drift apart, then there was probably never any real love there to begin with, and divorce will be imminent.
2007-01-03 07:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by wrldzgr8stdad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is tough but I believe you should be in it for the long haul. If she is his best friend then what more could you ask for? It is easy to become bored in a relationship so you have to #1. Have God in your relationship. A relationship with your spouse and God is like a triangle. He on the left, she on the right, and God up top. The closer you get to God, the closer you get to each other. I do little things for my sweetheart wife all the time. Little notes, breakfast in bed, I fill her car with her favorite balloons to surprise her or make her a CD of love songs. Wives are precious and they work hard and should be treated like gold. You will be amazed at how she treats you back when she feels special.
2007-01-03 07:39:25 · answer #3 · answered by Bo123654 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
love is in stages and some folks don't understand that over the years it changes;
at first its that nervous uncomfortable lusting love the kind that you cant be apart from
then after some years its that unspoken and still heavy passionate love but with out having to say it so much
finally its what my father used to say is the comfortable lingering love were two people become a little to comfortable with each other and love can become friendship and some friendships just don't last
Sounds like this is what has happened to your friends he has seen lust over the fence and friend ship at home so he hopped the fence and came back home .
what can she do? turn him on make him want to be home and not over the fence , show him that the girl he married is still at home inside the woman that loves him . If its not to late to turn his head back to her .
2007-01-03 07:54:56 · answer #4 · answered by slick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe there's an answer he can get from strangers on a message board. I do think that each relationship is different, and often it doesn't mature in the same way for each partner. She may still adore him, but she just doesn't have the old effect on him anymore.
It might have to do with the reasons they got together in the first place. Physical only? That will pass.
2007-01-03 07:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by Geico Caveman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion he still loves her. But after so many years wit a person day after day, especially wit no kids it can git redundant. Sometimes its just that time to move on. You only git one life. Be happy. It could be that their not taking the time to have fun anymore. Who knows. If he really wanted it to work he will try to make it happen.
2007-01-03 07:31:49 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. Atimalala 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you didn't say how old they are. If they were married too young this would happen. People don't really know what they want until they are older. I am not saying it can't work, but that it is harder.
How can he know what he wants in life before he experiences it? I think that they just went different directions as they matured. It happens. It sucks but it happens.
2007-01-03 07:28:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He gave up. That's why he feels that way.
Ask him when the last time he was romantic? Ask him when the last time he surprised her with a weekend get-away? Ask him when the last time he treated her like a woman and not just a wife?
2007-01-03 07:28:17 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing that my wife could do to cause me to stop loving her. Were she to commit some egregious offense I could conceivably dislike her for awhile, but she could always be assured of eventual forgiveness and undying love. This is precisely because she IS my best friend.
2007-01-03 07:29:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes that does happen. Instead having any kinda love for her he just sees her as a friend. Maybe he doesn't leave her cuz he just used to having soemone around. Ther's really nothing you can do.
2007-01-03 07:45:45 · answer #10 · answered by Traviesa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋