We've been together for a couple of years now and we've both decided to to move in together before we get married.
Some women say a man is not going to commit to you when your already living together because he is going to become too comfortable with the situation and might make you wait longer.
But then I feel like I would be pushing him away if I force marriage on him. I just want to make sure I make the right choice.
2007-01-03 07:23:30 · 29 answers · asked by Palyn 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I used to be against moving in for exactly that reason. I have now changed my mind with one caveat. I don't think you should move in under an open-ended deal. While you don't have to set the date before you move in, you need to set an internal timeline and live with it. I would say you can tell a lot from one year of joint living.
2007-01-03 07:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by united9198 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was very nervous ... about moving in with my current boyfriend ... we've been living together for 8 mths now ... it was the best decision I've ever made - I couldn't be happier ... if your man wants to marry you ... he'll marry you ... moving in together won't change that ... I personally feel you learn all the good things & bad things about each other ... you learn to live with each other ... and you learn how to compromise ... if you wait until marriage ... you get tossed into a whole new world of drama ... listen to your heart ( sounds cheesy - but very true ) ... you said he might wait longer for marriage if you move in together ... after living with him for a few months ... you'll probably say the same thing ... lol ... !
Make a list ... Pros and Cons about moving in together ... and go from there ... think about the possibility of a break up ... sharing property ... everything ... prepare yourself for the worse and expect the best ... go in with an open mind ... and you'll be just fine ... good luck with whatever you choose.
2007-01-03 15:53:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from my experience, yes, it is a good idea. With my first marriage, I dated him 8 years, we got married and were divorced within the year. We did not live together before marriage and when I moved in with him it was like a total different person. I am now in my second marriage. With my second husband, we dated for several months and then I moved in with him about 8 months before we were married. We were able to get past the getting use to living together part before our marriage. I feel that trying to get situated in a marriage is hard enough without the added stress! Living with someone takes ALOT to get use to. But it all comes down to what feels right for you! We all learn from our mistakes. You never know until you try... Good luck! :]
2007-01-03 15:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley Bass 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Every relationship is different. If you don't trust your man and think once you move in it will stay a living together relationship then you shouldn't do it. But if you do trust him and know that marriage is definitely an option then go for it.
I lived with my husband for a little over a year before we were married. I don't regret it a moment. We knew right away that it could work out for a lifetime. I also lived with my ex for 6 years...we never married mainly because we just knew that it wasn't ever really going to work out forever for us. Good luck :)
2007-01-03 15:58:20 · answer #4 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! You don't want a rude awakening once you get married if you've never lived together before. You don't truly get to know someone until you live with them. Once you live together and are compatible cohabitating, getting married will seem like the logical next step. I don't think this would push him away. The only way I could see that happening is if you were to turn into an instant nag once you move in together.
2007-01-03 15:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by Bumbo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've lived with one man and he became my husband after 1 year of living together. Personally, I don't want to marry someone when I don't know how they are in the home. I know people say you can find that out by just being with them or just staying the night or whatever, but I can't. There are certain things that people can hide or change when you are not there on a consistant basis. I HAVE to live with you before I would even consider marrying you. It's just a pre-requisite for me.
2007-01-03 15:47:25 · answer #6 · answered by It's Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I lived with my boyfriend before he proposed. I don't regret it and I think its a good idea. Then you can see what its like to live together day in and out. My friend was against living together before marriage. She married her high school boyfriend before living with him and she says it was one of the biggest mistakes of her life. If she had lived with him first she wouldn't of had to go through the divorce later. You do have to do whats right for you. I think if two people really love each other then the "why buy the cow when you get the milk for free" policy doesn't apply. Good Luck :)
2007-01-03 15:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i was with my husband for like almost 2 years before we started to live together, but i was always over his house before we actually moved in together. But i mean we were always really close and we have this like friendship too, so i guess it just all depends on how close you guys are, just because you guys live together doesn't mean that you guys have to get married let everything just happen on its own, me and my husband got married last Feb and now we have a 4 month old baby and our relationship is still really great,as long as he wants it too then everything is fine, just don't act like a old married couple.
2007-01-03 15:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by ...Jess....:) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If someone were to give you a car would you force them to let you make monthly payments? If you are going to do the wifely duties w/o the wifely title, why should he take it any further. You don't want to force marriage on him but you will agree to shacking. The right choice will be for the two of you to remain in separate locations. Are you sure he want to marry you? How long will you be willing to stay with him w/o a commitment?
2007-01-03 15:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its both. One, if you live with him, yes, its a good idea to get him know better, but then, if you do stay together, he is not committed, and he finds it too comfortable and would just pull it all along. But that depends. It has a lot of questions attached to it, do you know him well, how long do u know him,whats his background, is he educated, does he love having a family, most of all, does he love u ?
You may go and live with him, but do not ask questions later, as to ''would he marry me'' now ? does he love me anymore ? is he seeing someone else ? is his wallet enough for feeding me and looking after my children ? wihtout these questions, and if your mind is free, go on and try it. But, it takes true love to really really come to a point where he does not mind living with the woman whom he loves the most, and wants his children from. So are you the one ?
find out for urself. and good luck..
2007-01-03 15:32:13 · answer #10 · answered by arya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋