If you punish teens harshly wouldn't that just make them want to rebel more?

Question

You punish them harsh they rebel. Duh. How do you go about this without them wanting to rebel?

Answer 1

Every child wants to rebel when punished. Its the natural reaction to punishment. Its nothing thats some how unique to teenagers.

The difference is that for some magical reason parents seem to think that their teenagers are some how to be tolerated when they do rebel.

Teens need to be monitored and parented just like any other aged child. If a teen is some how able to rebel, its because the parent has poor skills in punishment and leaves opportunities for the child to be unsupervised and able to rebel.

teenagers only think theyre adults and capable of reason and good choices, thats what makes them think their parents punishments are wrong and unjust and that they should be able to do as they wish.

That isnt the case. And it certainly doesnt change a good parents reasons or techniques.

Answer 2

There is a difference in disciplining and punish.... Punishment is a tit for tat....it does nothing to teach the child/teen how to change their behavior.

Discipline is instilling a principle to teach a change in behavior. Punishment will make a child/teen rebel and cause a great deal of resentment and ultimately damages a relationship. Being a parent and learning to provide proper Discipline is quite a challenge....

There is a wealth of information in books on discipline...though he is controversial, and some may be offended but James Dobson published a wonderful book called Dare to Discipline. I recommend his methods as well as some others. Try going to some bookstores and studying up on different discipline methods. It's worth a shot! Good Luck!

Answer 3

All kids, even teens need limits. Set out clear limits and boundaries before situations arise, i.e. dealing with curfew, etc...Teens are searching for their identity and want to be trusted and treated like adults, so getting them involved in discussing these things helps them feel respected. For example, my son posted some objectionable things on his myspace so we discussed what he thought was a reasonable consequence, and together agreed that no myspace for a month was fair(he suggested a month, I was going to suggest a couple weeks)! My husband and I are also firm believers in natural consequences, teen agers should be allowed to make some of their own decisions, but also parents must be willing to let kids suffer the consequences of bad decisions.

Answer 4

You make rebelling a much scarier option than the punishment. For example... when I got in trouble I took my whupping and grounding and was happy about it and did not argue becuase that would have led to worse whuppings and groundings and my life would have been a living hell for longer than it was if I had just obeyed. I'm telling you, fear is the best tool.

Answer 5

You are so right. I have three teens in my home (2 step children and a nephew) What has worked for us is give them alot of room to grow. My oldest 17 has never had a cerfew, but the latest he has ever come home is 1 and that was because he went to a late movie and we knew what they were doing. My kids just have to tell us what they are doing, and be honest, so far we have had real good luck with this. They have their little issues, but nothing major. They are all good kids. Also, let them make their punishment for themselves. Sounds crazy but it works too.

Answer 6

i have heard that teens rebel themself when they feel they been treated unfair or suprsing them i think the key here is comunication trying to work things out by speaking and if they do something wrong ground them for a weekend or 2 weekens and explaining why you do it and always letting them speak their mind without gettoing in trouble

Answer 7

well if u punish them too hard they rebel. if u don't punish them they think it's ok and keep doing it. i have the same question.

Answer 8

No, in comparison to a pair babies are going to detention center on quotes of baby pornography. babies do issues that they remorseful approximately and lives should not be ruined better than they might desire to because of the fact of those circumstances.

Answer 9

Don't push the children away. Be there for them and keep the girls in home studying like they should be doing.

Answer 10

yeah they will just go with the head in the wall until you let go. so just tell them its wrong and let them make the desicion after they will get hurt they will understand not to play with fire because they will get burned..