i am a mother of 4 boys ages now are 18 he has graduated and moved out on his own...then i have a 16 yr old son soon to be 17 then i have a 14 yr old son soon to be 15 then a 13 yr old son soon to be 14.
my ex left us back in nov 1996 i had the children in my custody ever since....when he left i told him i was keeping custody of the boys so he told me fine and then i said about going for child support he told me if i did that then he would give up all his rights to the boys i didnt know the law so i thought he could then so i said fine cause i didnt want to be the blame for him not being in his kids life so i asked him what he could afford he said 50 aweek so he paid that when he did for 1/2 yrs till may 2006 i sued him for child support then he turned around and sued me for full custody ....none of our sons wants to live with him .
he left his 2nd wife back in 2004 she was 5 months pregnant and they also have a 2 yr old son at that time .he went to a bar and never went home ...he left her for his new gf.
well they live in a 3 bedroom well the gf has a son and a daughter the son is 10 the little girl is 6 they sleep in the same room the other women is a stranger she is handicapped living in the 3rd bedroom he has no rooms for my sons they sleep on the floor and couches .
i have to go by the custody agreement made from 1997 when he left ,the kids were toddlers they do not want this set up no more .
i have legal services tellin me i can not change this arrangement cause he is sueing me for full custody.
well we went to a modified hearing we were both ordered to pay 1050 i paid he didnt he asked the judge to give him 6 months to come up with it which will take us to april 2007 ..since then he had moved from his 2 bedroom in new phila .to a three bedroom four blocks from where we live the boys asked me to do something about the visitation they only want to see him now on a saturday from like 9 to 6pm .
i am being told by alot of ppl the kids will get to talk to the judge for my ex is telling the boys he has already won and they will be living with him and they have no choice?
what do you think ? is it true?
thanks ,tina
2007-01-03 06:52:30 · 12 answers · asked by tinalee1972 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Ask for a case worker to represent and speak to your kids, that way they know you're not telling the kids what to say. Educate yourself about the family law in your state, he is saying these things because he knows you don't know any better. Ask for a lawyer, it may be free base on your income. He doesn't not want to pay child support that why he want the kids, not that he really want them. As hard as it may be do not bad mouth him in or out of court, it just make you look bad. Have paper trail if you can, just be one step ahead of him. He will give up.
2007-01-03 07:11:44 · answer #1 · answered by Akasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$50 a week, good lord, I would have jumped on that as well. I make in the low 40's and pay nearly $800 a month in child support, and the insurance premiums on both kids. I don't get to claim either of the children for tax purposes, qualify for the child tax credit, or get to claim childcare expenses either. And, I see my children pretty much everday, since we live in the same small town.
I don't think you really have anything to worry about. One, you have been the primary caretaker for 10 years or so. You haven't had any support from him. Also, it sounds as if the home is not fit to add that many more children to it. Also, given the age of the children, the Judge will honor their wishes in most cases.
But, when the judge sets visitation, at whatever is decided, the father, yourself, and the children must follow the schedule. If the judge says they are to spend every other weekend with him, they will have to do that whether they want to see him or not.
2007-01-03 07:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a mess for sure. I prey to GOD you have a lawyer. If not call the legal aid in your town they may can help you. Yes, I believe your sons are old enough to speak up on there own about where they want to live and it sounds like he is a real looser.Get a lawyer, these things can be tricky. I think if everything here is true, you have the upper hand for sure. Judges however do not like to hear any one put the other parent down in the court room. I have learned this from experience. Even if they are a looser. So just make a list of the facts and document everything. This will be the best route for you. Good luck... Documentation, it is so important, I made this mistake and it almost cost me custody of my three children.
2007-01-03 07:01:57 · answer #3 · answered by love me despite it all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you missed a hearing, it is impossible for him to have gotten a custody order. The judge ordinarily will talk to the children and children that are teenagers generally have strong input as to where they would like to live. Additionally, the fact that he has not supported his children for 10 years will play an important role also. You need to get a lawyer. If you cannot afford a lawyer, call your local legal aid office. If they cannot help you, call your local bar association (should be in the white pages of the phone book) and ask them if they have a pro bono project. Most do.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-03 06:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, even if he sues you for full custody, he won't win no matter how hard he tries. it is very very difficult to take kids away from their mother unless they find her to be unfit. such as drug user, abandonment and the such. he is just scared because he knows that he will have to pay a lot of child support and they don't even factor in what bills he has. they just tell him that he owes "x" amount of money and if he can't afford his bills then tough, he's just going to have to find another way to pay his bills. he was only paying $50 a week?? that's ridiculous. not even one child can live off of that! don't worry about the custody suit. the judge will look at everything and listen to your kids because they are old enough to say where they want to live. as far as for pa laws, you may want to talk to a lawyer. but you can relax, cause he won't get full custody.
2007-01-03 07:03:26 · answer #5 · answered by brenkenlyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this jerk intimidate you. You should have a lawyer. Check , but in my state a child can live with the parent he chooses when he reaches 14. He has not already won. You would have to be called into court. Get an attorney. Most attorneys will talk to you one time before you hire them. Find one. This will empower you. Don't talk badly about him to your kids. They already know what kind of dad he is. It will only hurt them more for you to bring it up. Good luck.
2016-05-22 23:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by Delilah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is just using the court system as his revenge tool. If he keeps doing this, have your kids sue him for mental anguish, get a restraining order for verbal abuse, whatever. Better start playing his game or he will win.
He's just trying to take advantage of you. Make sure your lawyer knows he wanted to forget about the kids. Then ride out this custody thing and then sue him for full custody.
2007-01-03 06:57:49 · answer #7 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no. Your songs should have a choice. From what I know your son's who are over 12 can make the choice who they want to live with, but i live in Canada and it may be different there from where ever you live.
I hoped I helped.
Shawna. =)
2007-01-03 06:59:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He won't get full custody. The boys are old enough to tell the judge who they do or do not want to live with. YOU WILL NOT LOSE YOUR BOYS!!!
2007-01-03 11:25:35 · answer #9 · answered by Bachman-ette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your kids must live with him no matter what! This is very unfair. Your kids' have rights to refuse to do it. Does your kids know the Bill of Rights?
2007-01-03 07:07:24 · answer #10 · answered by Kai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋