What can I do about my girlfriend being upset that our child will be female and not male?

Question

I just found out 2 days ago that my pregnant girlfriend is having a girl. She really wanted a boy and now she is very depressed. She already suffers from depression and is on medication. She has the feeling that the child will not get the same attention as a male would have. I am just glad that we are having a healthy baby. I tried to talk to her but it is difficult and we end up arguing. I just can't understand her thinking. She is very tom boyish and she dislikes "girlie girls". It is if she is judging our child already. She is due in april and I hope her feelings will change. Thanks for the help

Answer 1

Give it up for adoption. Or else break up with her and take custody yourself.

She doesn't sound like she should have any kids at all. She sounds very immature.

Answer 2

There's nothing she can do to change the sex of the baby! It is what it is and so many people would love to have a boy or a girl but are unable to! She needs to be thankful for the baby that she has and that it looks healthy.

I dispise "girlie girls" as well. But I started buying clothes off of Ebay that I would want my kid to wear (I don't know if mine is a boy or girl yet). I'm buying Godsmack onesies, My daddy <3 (heart) Metal shirts, etc.

Just because it's a girl doesn't mean it has to have bows in it's hair and wear pink everyday!

I know a couple that didn't think they could have kids at all. They've been together for 10 years without using protection and were waiting for it to happen.... nothing! They were going to go see a fertility specialist in Feburary until all of a sudden it happened. She's 10 weeks pregnant right now! They're so excited about the fact they can actually have kids they aren't conserned with the sex at all! They aren't even going to find out utnntil it's born.

Just make her look at the bright side... many people can't have kids and would love for a healthy baby girl!

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 3

I would tell her the child will get plenty of your love. Who hasn't heard of Daddy's Girl! Though maybe she is worried she will not be able to bond with a girl if she is tom boyish, but that is not true. She will do things she enjoys with the baby and the baby will grow to enjoy them also. Most girlie-girls have girlie-girl moms. We usually have similar likes and dislikes as our parents. Tell her you need her to talk about her feelings maybe it is one of those things. When the baby is born pay attention to your GF and not just the baby. If her feelings don't improve maybe she needs new meds or some therapy too. All the hormones on top of depression can be awful. Just be there for her and the baby, and she should come around. If not talk her into telling her doctor about her feelings. Good Luck.

Answer 4

That's terrible that she is feeling down because she's having a girl and not a boy. When i was pregnant with my first baby we wanted a girl very badly and when we found out it was a boy we were a little down at first but realized this is "our" baby and is going to be beautiful no matter what. We were also very lucky how healthy he was. When he was born he literally was the most beautiful baby i have ever seen. I can't imagine anyone feeling this upset though. God has blessed her with this healthy baby and it still isn't good enough. Hopefully when she see's her little girl for the first time she will feel very different than she does right now. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you but at least your excited. All i can tell you is be supportive and maybe she'll change her mind.

Answer 5

im sure her feelings will change. You cant help but be attached to your child no matter what the sex of it. Just give her some time. Its hard enough being pregnant and expecially if she had her heart set on a boy. She will come out of it. In the meantime, go out and find her some little pink baseball/basketball/football outfits for the baby since you said she is a tomboy. Maybe a little pink baseball cap or something. maybe get a little onesie and have the baby's last name emroidered on the back with her favorite sports player's # underneath it and the team on the front. Just some little gesture to show her that having a girl will be just as much fun! Make her laugh...tell her it could be worse...you guys could be having TWO girls instead of just the one! lol!

Answer 6

Your baby will be what you raise her to be. She might like sports, or she might like dolls. Or she might like both, or none of the above.

Being female isn't a bad thing, and you certainly can't choose the gender of your baby.

Her disappointment is understandable if she had a certain ideal of her first child in mind, but the important thing she needs to remember is how lucky she is to be having a healthy baby, because many women don't. Ask her to consider the alternatives... buying pink or burying her child. Hopefully she'll come around. If not, you'll have a lot of hard work ahead of you making up for the love she refuses to give to that child.

Answer 7

so i think that this girl will not be a "girlie girl." i myself had the same problem and after the baby came it was all different. now my 4yr old is not at all a "girlie girl" but more of a 'tom-boy'. just because you are having a girl doesnot mean that she will be into pink and flowers and hate getting dirty, thats the things that the parents influence. paint her room in yellows and greens, when shes old enough take her fishing, thats what my boyfriend did, let her play in the mud...i promises everythign will be fine. goodluck with the baby girl and your girlfriend.

Answer 8

Tell her that you get what God gives you and she should be happy the baby is healthy. There is always time in the future to try for another healthy child and hope for a boy.

Answer 9

This is tough. Some women get their heart set on one sex or the other and it's hard for them to accept it any other way. Just be supportive of her right now. Pregnancy is a very emotional process. I think once the baby is born, she will be Happy no matter what.

Answer 10

Tell her that having a healthy, good baby is important. you do not want to have a boy which will ended up doing all sort of bad things ... and also let her know that most girls stay closer with their parents than boys...
and if she is not willing to care now... take her to consulting

Answer 11

Her feelings will most likely change after the baby is born.I always wanted a boy and I ended up having a daughter,but the moment I saw her, it was love at first sight....She will come around.I guarantee it.