is it hard to overcome shyness?

Question

well im 17, i used to be really outgoing back in middle schools years since i started high school i got really quiet and talk very low, and every yr that i passed in high its just been getting worse, now im a junior, and i just want get this wall that i have in front of me out because it wont be good to be shy for my whole life, but when i try to overcome it, its just a hard thing to do, im always afraid of making a fool of myself, and ppl have a hard time talking to me because i normally start talking in a low voice and hey cant hear me. I'm not an that of an Unsocial person at all, i talk more when i start feeling confortable with the person i talk to, but it takes some time for that to happen. so for ppl that actually beated it...was it hard ?

Thanks a lot guys im feeling good already, there are some many "best" answers that im having a har time picking.

i appreciate ur help ppl.

Answer 1

I know exactly how you feel.

Try not to worry too much about what other people think of you. Be yourself.

Shyness is just a habit we get into. Maybe something happens and we react by going into ourselves and continue on that habit of being a bit shy and not wanting to express ourselves. You are as entitled as anyone to express yourself.

If you can remember why you became a bit shy you could then understand why you reacted in a certain way to become shy but realise that you don't have to carry that with you in your life.

Be the person you want to be. Let your light shine. Just remember that there's no right or wrong way to be in front of people. The attitude I take is so what if people think I'm a fool or whatever! What makes them right and you wrong?!

When we worry about what other people think of us, we take away our power. Other people are not necessarily right.

Another thing is people don't really think in ways we think they are, we just worry that they're thinking certain things.

Be you! Shyness is just a bad habit.

Answer 2

It's great that you're interested in overcoming this to some degree. It will be helpful to look at it as a degree of progress. That way each little thing you do can be some little bit of success. You will need much encouragement and regular pep talks from yourself (best) or from friends. Joining some club, sport, or other activity will help. When you find yourself around others you will then have the opportunity to make a fool of yourself. I say this only half in jest because everyone has that feeling. The difference is that you may feel embarrassment much more acutely than other people. Talking to others will become easier but only with practice and enduring the feelings that it will trigger in you. The more you inure yourself to those feelings and learn to simply continue plodding along like everyone else, the more you will progress in feeling good about yourself, being at ease with others, and eventually helping someone like yourself overcome their shyness.

Answer 3

Once you realize that it is not important to care what others think of you and you improve your self-esteem you will get more outgoing.
I used to be shy in High School too and that was a long time ago. I never felt like I matched up with anyone else and I always saw my faults.
Look at your strengths not your faults. If you see a need for improvement in some areas of your like work on it. Only you can change your personality.

My suggestions are these:

Make a list of what you like about your self (your good traits) and then make a list of your less than desirable traits.
Then start by taking each one in the less than column and work on it so that it can move to the other column. This takes time but you can get better at it. But overall concentrate on this list for a year. Sounds like a very long time but you can not change your personality over night. If you are shy, there is a reason for it. To improve yourself, it is hard work but very worth it. Somethings you were born with and the are an intrregal part of your make up. You don't and can't change these. But shyness will go away in time if you give it a fair shot.

Read as many books as you can in the Self-Help Category. Look at ones that will directly improve your life. Here is a few I suggest:
Discover you Destiny by Robin Sharma
The Luck Factor by Dr. Richard Wiseman (the best)
Soul signs by Rosemary Althea
Any by Dr Phil

I also suggest a class in Assertive Training. It will work wonders. I learn to be assertive myself but some need help here. It will show you how to get what you want and not be afraid of what others will think of you. You only need to please yourself in this life.

I also suggest a class or read the book by Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People. I took the class in college and it was amazing. It can change your life, litterally. This course has been around a very long time and it is proven.

Take a Public Speach Class. It will force you to connect with others and get in front of others without being judged.

And just remember. You are one of a kind, no one else is like you. You must love yourself for others to like and love you. Show a proud side. Stand tall before others. No one can judge you and if they do they are not worth your time.
Remember what is the worst that can happen if you come out of your shell?
If it is not death, it does not matter in life.

Answer 4

Why you need to feel shy? Is it because you afraid of making a fool of yourself? Guy, this is not a good excuse. Be confidence to yourself when you speak,then, you will be able to speak louder. Don't worry, no people will "eat" you if you speak wrongly, but make sure what you want to say have the points, not talking noncense. Maybe, you can practise by looking at the mirror, and talk. From the mirror, you will be able to know how people' feeling when they talk to you. Also, eyes contact is very important when you talk to others. Wearing a smile maybe will let you feel better.

Answer 5

I was very shy as well in school. Of course it was difficult to overcome, I probably didn't completely overcome it until after college. But it's just something you have to do, especially if you want to succeed in school and work. The fact that you want to overcome it is a great first step. You just need to take chances. I know, easier said than done, but it's really the only way. And you need to have confidence and a good sense of humor about yourself. If you say something stupid, so what! Everyone does :) and no one is going to hold a grudge against you... if they do, they are not worth associating with. ;)

Answer 6

Wow. That sounds just like me. No kidding!

For me, it's been more of a process than just a step in life. I had to start by gaining self confidence, which you may lack. I had to learn that EVERYONE in high school is afraid of embarrassment and rejection, whether they show this or not. I had to also realize that the issues I was having were not just my issues. They were problems for many, many kids my age.

For me, it was finding a place where I fit and could be myself, that really, really helped me. I finally got out of middle school and into high school and was in band, so I moved on to high school band, with marching band in the fall. After about a semester, I really opened up and was more myself around everyone because I knew them and I knew they didn't care if I made a fool of myself because they wouldn't judge me for a single incident like that.

Maybe you just need to find a place where you fit and then branch out from there. If you don't already belong to a club/organization in school, you should look into joining one. There is bound to be a club aimed towards kids with similar interests as you. As you become more comfortable with a small group of people, you'll soon be more outgoing around many people.

As for talking louder, you just gotta do it, man! Trust me, I am ALWAYS told to speak up or asked "what?" after I say something because I have a tendency to talk too soft. I'm getting so much better now, though, and my friends in band are starting to wish they'd never pushed me to open up because now I'm really outgoing with them and I talk a lot!

You just have to try, that's all. Try not to be afraid. Look at every situation as you AREN'T the only one!

Good luck! You can IM or email me if you want to talk more about this issue. I'd be glad to give you any more advice I can dish out!

Answer 7

Overcome Social Anxiety And Shyness - http://tinyurl.com/XljH7qb3TG

Answer 8

Yes, its a daily struggle my friend. I've been at the same job for 5 years, and every month I have to address a group of approx. 80 people that I work with--my voice still quivers a bit and sometimes I forget what I was going to say next.

I am still very shy, so much that I've never even been in a chat room. Y answers is the closest I've come.

If you have a core set of good friends, keep them! They are good to confide in, and they may help build your confidence up some.

Answer 9

Let me tell you something very amazing, everyone and i mean all, experience a sense of shyness it depends on how they treat it, either let it rule you or overcome it. What you need is Confidence and lots of practice, talk to yourself in private and practice with a mirror, it will add the collar for you. Can you believe that whoever you are talking to most probably is feeling wat you are feeling too, so relax and talk however you want, low tone or not, just smile abit and let the words roll, if you are handsome, it even helps, if not just smile and let the magic happen!

Answer 10

Yes but it can be done if you really want to. I don't mean this unkindly but maybe you could try some counselling to get to the root of the problem.
I knew a really shy person and it turned out that a lot of his problem was depression and not liking himself. Once he worked on the depression and began to like himself, he wasn't so closed off anymore.