My friend son split with wife 1 year ago, she is dating man next door. Yet wont let them see gtrandson??

Question

My friend Shelley is in her 50's, and her son Mark is 30, he split from his wife of 5 years a year ago. They had a son, who is now 18 months. Marks wife for some reason is not allowing contact with the son. Mark gave up trying for access 6 months ago and just puts up with two 2 hour visits a month. Marks wife is now dating Shelleys next door neighbour for 3 months. This is torture for Shelley as the wife has visited the neighbour almost daily with her grandson, and she not been allowed to see him. The wife is being so awkward. Aparently grandparents have no rights?? As a friend what can I do to help her?? I would love to hurl abuse!! But my friend isn't like that and it would obviously get us nowhere. Shelley and the wife use to get on so well. This is so hard for her. Any advice???

Answer 1

I think Jo is spot on with her advice, especially that you should just be there for Shelley and not get involved.

As several people have said, for this to be resolved officially, Mark needs to legally apply for access. He can share his current access with his mother, but that might not be possible if his wife won't let him take the child out of her house when he sees him.

I understand your frustration, but Shelley's attitude is right. There are lots of volatile emotions around at the moment, and it will hurt her cause to contribute to these. All I can suggest for Shelley to do is to continue asking, in as polite and friendly way as possible, to see her grandson. She could try inviting her daughter-in-law over to her house, or suggest that she visits her daughter-in-law on her territory for just 5 minutes to start with, and take it from there. If she won't even share a conversation, Shelley could write to her, just saying how she feels, not taking sides etc. but would love to see her grandson again. It's tricky to be persistent without harrassing the daughter-in-law, which is why the attitude is so important.

At least Shelley has a good friend to support her. Good luck and hope it works out.

Answer 2

Unfortunatly if shelley wants to see her grandson then it is up to mark to either take him to visit his granmother in the 4 hours visiting time he has a month or fight for better access to his son! If you keep fighting these things then the judge sees how much you want it and eventually the mother will back down, if he just gives up it shows he doesnt really care, my dad faught for me for 10 years and finally got what he needed! Advice for you is to be there for your friend but ont get involved this isn't your fight!

Answer 3

If she is in the uk she does have legal rights. Tell her to keep a log of when her ex daughter in law visits next door with her grandson and go and see a solicitor. As for her son it is time he put his foot down and went back to the courts for more reasonable access.

Answer 4

Unless the son gets custody, or gets the courts to enforce custody, there is nothing they can do.

grandparents have no rights to grandchildren if either paretn is still alive and a guardian. The grandparents can, if the mother is a danger to the child and the father will not take the child, fight for custody of the child. But it's an uphill battle, and unless she runs a crackhouse, you won't win.

Answer 5

Obviously something is seriously wrong with all of you for her to take the kid and disappear.

The father of the kid needs to get the divorce and get regular visitation set up. Once he has regular visitation it is up to him to share his visitation with his mother.

The other option is for the grandma to get a lawyer and sue for her own visitation rights through the court.

Answer 6

Talk to an attorney, you will be surprised at the rights Grandparents have

Answer 7

let your friend asked this girl in a polite manner if she can see her grand son.

Answer 8

IS A HARD SITUATION I THINK YOUR FRIEND NEED TO TALK TO THIS WOMEN AND FIND OUT WHY SHE IS NOT LETTING HER SEE HER GRANDSON****