How to find out if my mom is cheating with my dad, please help?

Question

Ok to start I feel im just a good person at reading people, I can see right through most people by what they say, how they say it, and yeah..... but for a while now ive suspected my mom of cheating on my dad with her boss at her workplace. she recieves money in visa cards, like 250 cards for xmas. I know thats not reason enough but like i said I can read through people, the things she says, acts, get dressed, and I just make it seem like im a stupid 19 year old who doesnt know anything.

But she is smart enough to keep it out of the house, like an at work only thing. I think it might because she doesnt get play at home, I duno. Parents have been married for 20 yrs, im 19, and I dont have a car for many reasons.... besides that I just need advice on how to either approach her, or figure it out. Because I know theres a 99% chance she will lie no matter what to me, and I could obviously tell if she will lie, but that wont do good. Shell probably storm to my dad and turn it on me. Help!!

Answer 1

First, I want to say how sorry I am to hear of the emotional trauma you must be going through.

Second, you're in a really tight spot because the stakes are huge if you're wrong. But it's not your burden. Your dad may have the same suspicion, but you shouldn't tell him unless you 1) have proof and 2) take it to your mom first.

A Visa card for $250 at Xmas from her boss is not unusual depending on the line of work. My wife gets $50 at Xmas and she works at a not-for-profit.

What would help is to do things to get your family closer together. Ask them to have a games night and a movie night. Women are more likely to break off an affair (if they are having one) in order to spend time with the family - men, on the other hand, break off an affair when the mistress asks to become the misses. Bring her closer to you (and your father too, although I'd guess that things aren't exactly copaseptic betwixt them), and you'll probably find out. Just don't ask unless it comes up.

And really, really, really I think you should talk with a counselor about how this is affecting you. No reason for you to go nuts, too.

Answer 2

Ask your dad a hypothetical question. Say, "Dad, there's this minister who has a 43 year old wife and five kids, three sons and two daughters. The minister's wife is cheating on him, and both of the daughters have seen it. Do you think I (oops, I mean the oldest daughter) should tell you (oops again, I meant 'the minister') ?"

Answer 3

Stay out of it.... it is your parents business and it is not your place to step in and "fix" things.
What would you do if you found out she was cheating? Would you tell your dad? Do you want the weight of that situation on your shoulders?
Again, say out of it.

Answer 4

Leave it alone friend. This is a lose lose for everyone. In this case i will say it's not your concern. You'll be digging up a land mine.

Answer 5

let your dad find out on his own.