My best friend still thinks there's a chance with her ex fiancee'. Any advice?

Question

My best friend was set to be married to her boyfriend of three years in April. But, the Friday before New Year's, the guy broke it off wanting to end it permanently on the grounds that she is too immature for such a commitment and, him being in the Air Force, didn't want to worry all the time about her and their future kids. Unfortunately, my friend was under the impression that there was still hope (trying to change for him). On New Year's Eve, my boyfriend and I had a get-together at our apartment for all of our friends. The exes decided they would still be coming. Even though the guy showed up with a date (who I and my boyfriend think he cheated on my friend with before the break up), trying to show my friend this was it for them, she still thinks there's a chance. He's cheated on her in the past and I've never told her because everyone else who has tried has failed because she refuses to believe it. After my hints, she still believes they will be getting back together soon. Help!!!

Just FYI: my friend really is immature for her age. At 22, she acts 13. She's only been in one serious realtionship: the one with her ex. He was right in breaking it off, but he was wrong for giving her false hopes about getting back together and for bringing a date in front of her 2 days later (even more wrong for not letting me and my boyfriend know until 20 minutes before our guests were to arrive). He even kissed his date at midnight (passionately, might I add)... an act my friend saw!! I also forgot to mention that his date was a girl he'd dated before and who was his "first love". My friend was very strong in the sense that she saw this and didn't go running. When I tried to give her advice she basically told me I wouldn't know what I was talking about because I've never had my wedding day taken from me. I told her I knew what heartbreak was and knew what she was feeling. She still didn't agree. She says she isn't dealing with a break up, it's a time out. If she only knew!!

Answer 1

that's so sadd, if seeing him with someone else isn't getting thru to her..Im not sure anything will. Maybe she needs time, try taking her out so she can meet some new guys even if just for friendship..maybe she's find her prince charming.Im sure she needs you just to be there and support her and her feelings. We all know how powerful love and feelings can be so just stick by her side and see her through.

Answer 2

I've been in the same situation for 2 years, and there dating AGAIN.. BUT this isn't the first time, things are good for teh first 2 weeks -a month THEN he ALWAYS goes back to being a MEAN CHEATING JERK!! Like I said 2 YEARS!!! She hasen't learned, she thinks that there meant to be, don't worry too much about her, because it's jsut RUINed my friendship with my friend because she thinks I don't want her to be happy with him because I don't like him. TRUE but not the reason why I discourage the realtionship. She deserves BETTER and if my friend can't see that, then HOPEFULLY yours can. Good Luck, and don't put too much of ur energy into HEr problems, Enjoy the realtionship your in.

Answer 3

There is nothing you can do. She will get the message when he marries his new girlfriend. In the mean time, be there for her as a friend and let her come to terms with this breakup on her own. there are a few stages that she will go through
Denial
Depression
Anger
acceptance
And a few in between, but let her do this in her own time.

Answer 4

approximately ninety% of your subject count grew to become into beside the point fluff. What leapt out at me grew to become into once you wrote "considering the fact that living along with her for a 12 months, she has shown me how quite insecure she is. Asking why I take my telephone to the keep, who i'd have emailed at artwork, if all people has texted me, even going as much as now as asserting that I even have one extra pal on fb considering the fact that final week and who grew to become into it? i've got not got any friends now, I even have fought no longer person-friendly to even income her believe to be waiting to hold out with my very own brother. I in no way go on fb, save my cellular telephone seen and open to inspection in any respect circumstances." in keeping with that paragraph on my own, I inform you to run away now, far and speedy. She isn't a reliable extra healthful for you for a perpetually style of life. And the reality of the problem is which you have talked to her approximately those themes and regardless of her crying and possible listening, it grew to become into not extra useful than chatting with a brick wall. shrink your losses. i does not even problem with counseling. i'd purely understand that we are no longer a reliable extra healthful for an added and pass on. together as I understand your guilt that she has made herself financially based on you, you will desire to no longer waste your life and desires considering the fact which you experience some guilt over yet somebody else's alternatives.

Answer 5

Poor thing. The guy is a loser. Just give her some time. You should definitely tell her about the cheating.

Answer 6

Time to tell her "okay, I am gonna stop worrying about you for now. No more talking about him. It's too frustrating. When you wake up and find yourself at rock bottom, call me and I'll be there for you."

Answer 7

if the both parties forget the past and think of the future, then it can happen. it just depends on their love.

Answer 8

nothing you do or say will change her mind. She will have to realize this herself

Answer 9

Stay out of it, she's dillusional.

Answer 10

move on