daughter 17 sits in room all day?

Question

my 17 year old daughter sits in her room listening to music when she does daine to put in an appearence she doesnt even speak unless spoken to what should i do

Answer 1

sit her down and talk openly to her. Ask her if there is anything wrong, communication is the key. It may take her a while to open up to you, but when she does DO NOT SIT IN JUDGEMENT on her. That is very important, she doesn't want you to punish her or get mad at her, she needs you to listen first and foremost. Be Patient, it will take time. Let her know that you are there for her when she does decide to open up to you, if she ever needs someone to talk to you are there for her and will listen with out being judgemental. THis may open the door for further communication. She also may have clinical depression, maybe take her to a doctor if she doesn't open up to you in a month or so. She may need to be on some kind of medication. Good Luck with everything. This is a hard time for your daughter...I went through something very similar at that age....my mom never took me to the doctor although I feel like that probably would have helped a lot. Again Good Luck!

Answer 2

Did your mom have the same problem?

Are her grades ok and is she going to college?

Have you done anything together in past years that would have developed a mother daughter love, such as Nail day or skiing, or shopping.

She may have experienced some changes that you don't know about and she doesn't want you to know. Other than that music is the in thing for kids today, they are absorbed by it.

Try sitting on the couch and reading, she may come to you. Is there any time you can have alone time to wit you can just sit together without speaking, you read, she'll do whatever she does. In the morning before school?

Create some quality time with opportunities. Keep your eyes pealed for moments in which she is in public (other open rooms in the house) and just sit in the same room and read. Don't talk and don't push. Yours isn't the only daughter that goes further away the closer you try to get.

Answer 3

What should you do? Join the club, population, everyone in the world with a teenage child ;-)

Look on the bright side, while she is rebelling, she is not being extreme. She's not bringing horror boyfriends home or finding other ways to torture you. Maybe she could do with a prod to go do something, but if you stick your nose in too far, she will resist for resisting sake.

Does she not have friends? Is she a goth? Does she have poor social skills?(shy). Because instead of being an angry young woman, she maybe a lonely shy one, and if that is the case, I'd be nice to her, take her out to buy her some clothes or even more CDs, just show her you love her, rather than try to force her to change. Show her she is now your friend as well as your daughter.

Answer 4

Chillax man! She just thinks you're the worlds stupidest, most annoying person right now. This too shall pass. Be happy she isn't out drinking, drugging, and screwing!!!

If you really feel you MUST do something, talk to her about the fact that you are there if she needs you and you would really like to do something with just you and her sometime soon. Then ask if there is something at the mall she really wants, a concert she'd like to see, a museum exhibition that shes interested in, or something else that would be all about her and show her that you're really interested in what she has to say. Other than that, just back off and give her a little space for now!

Answer 5

Get her out of that room. Ask her nicely to be a little more communicative with her family. If she does not respond positively, tell her forcefully but gently that she needs to spend about a half hour a day talking/eating/having fun with the family. If you do it nicely and make it fun (think shopping, doing stuff she likes!) then she won't think you're punishing her.

Whatever you do, do it gently but do it right. You want to guide her on the right path before she leaves the house with a bad parent/daughter relationship.

Answer 6

It may just be a phase. I also love music and it's the perfect way to escape into my own little world away from the stress of family and school. I wouldn't worry too much about it, but if you want, ask her if something is wrong. Don't jump to any conclusions without first asking her daughter why she is acting differently. Overall, don't worry too much about it, she probably just needs some alone time.

Answer 7

ok A. just because she is 17 and sits in her room all the time does NOT mean shes on drugs. when i was 14-17 i sat in my room every day all day by myself. B. YOU need to take a good look at what YOU are doing/arent doing. the reason i stayed in my room all the time is because my family life sucked. my parents never tried to give me the attention/affection i needed. so as time went on i just stopped caring and would rather sit in my room then deal with them. waht hurt even more was having oblivious parents who didnt even care or notice anything, and they used to get mad at me and punish me for dong it and not allow me to go in my room until it was time for bed which was ridiculous! maybe you should try to be part of your daughters life more instead of taking the defensive and acting like there is something wrong with Her. she probably feels left out and neglected and over time shes just gotten used to taking care of herself and likes it better that way. she could be depressed or something else. you need to find out whats going on with her, and listen to waht she has to tell you. people always think that teenagers have it so easy and have nothing to be stressed about, well i was 17 3 years ago and let me tell you 17 was no picnic. it was probably one of the worst years of my life. what may seem stupid or easy or nothin to stress over to you may mean the world to her so listen and dont shrug off Anything she has to say or is feeling. taht is the worst thing you can do is dismiss her feelings because You dont understand. my parents never listened and now we barely speak, maybe if they had when i was trying to tell them things everything would have turned out differently

Answer 8

I am 17 and I do that sometimes just stay in my room and be on the internet and listening to music

Answer 9

I'm 17 as well, and I know that at least in my family, I sit in my room because I don't feel wanted when I'm out with my family. My parents are usually busy talking about their business (they work together) and I never feel like what I'm about is important. Though you're daughter may act like she doesn't care about you and what you think, she really does. Try talking to her in the car or somewhere that's neutral. I hate talking to my family when its forced and in an akward situation. Hope I helped. :)

Answer 10

talk to her and see if there is something bothering her. dont force the issue just let her know that you are there if she wants to talk. but I wouldnt worry every 17 yr old is like this. I am 24 and have 9 brothers and sisters, 3 of which are 21, 18, 17 and all of them went through this. and unfortunatly so did I. (much to my mothers distress)