What can I do to bring her into today’s time?

Question

I think my wife is a Cavewoman.

I have been married to the same woman for ten years. Until this day she still don’t know how to use a computer, program a cell phone, and get from one place to another without getting lost. Just yesterday she asked me what a MP3 player was. Last year she and her sister were talking about SUV’s. After she got off the phone she told me that she wanted an SUV. I asked her what kind? She said,” There’s more that one kind”? Some people may think this is funny but it’s very frustrating. It’s almost like living with someone that can’t read.

Answer 1

The reason your wife is like this is because no one has required her to use her brain. She keeps getting lost because she doesn't want the responsibility of finding her own way. She'd rather call you and say she's lost, so you can find the way. She won't learn how to use the computer, or program her cell phone, because she'd rather be dependent on you. And when you consider how many things she holds you responsible for, it's no wonder why you're frustrated.

You need to require your wife to use her brain. If she needs directions, tell her to look it up on the computer. If she can't program her cell phone, tell her to READ the directions that came with the phone, or call the company. When she calls you and says she's lost, tell her to stop at the nearest gas station for directions. If she doesn't know what kind of SUV she wants and she won't look it up on the computer or drive down to the dealerships, she doesn't get one.

It's time to cut the cord, my friend. Take some of the burden off of yourself and require your wife to use her own brain!

Answer 2

No it's not funny and I can only imagine your frustration. I think you should just keep being patient with her and "school" her on things she doesn't know. Explain to her what an SUV is and what the letters SUV stands for. Does she work? Do you all get out much? If not, then that can explain the reasons why she doesn't know a lot. If you two do not go out or take trips often, start doing so. And explain to her what things are when she ask. Try new things with her (even though they may not be new to you).

Answer 3

Hey, I'm with you. I've been married 8 years to a man who won't write anything cause he can't spell. He has no common sense at all. He makes decisions like a 9 year old if at all. But you have to give her some slack, not everyone knows things, especially the technology of today. My daughters the same way. If you're not interested then you're not interested in those things. But just because she's not knowledgeable about things doesn't mean she doesn't have other good qualities. At the end it will all come out in the wash. Wait til you have to start taking care of each other in your older years. Don't think that would make a difference to you, depending on your mental health as you age the roles may change.

Answer 4

Are you sure you want to? I have no doubt her "naivete" is part of the package that you fell in love with. If you require that she now change that part of the package it may alter other parts of the package as well. What part of the deal will you then change on your end? I imagine a man who was attracted to a nieve "cave woman" might have enjoyed playing the "all knowing" "rescuer/protector". Do you wish to give this up for her jumping into the 21st century savvy femininity who can solve all problems on her own? If so, then simply sit down with the Mrs. and let her know, with kindness and humor, that you would like her to try on a more modern and sophisticated approach to today's pop culture and electronic language and tools. Ask her to look at some classes at a community college for continuing education. Something in computers possibly. Tell you don't want her to change completely, you love being her 'go to guy', but you think she might have fun with the modern gadgets and understanding of pop culture.

Answer 5

I work in the IT field and I have learned that a lot of women are scared of the technology that is out here. I think it maybe a good way for you and your wife to spend time going to tech shows that may come to your area convention centers, or the car shows that way she can see some of the technology first hand and will be interested in learning more. She is your wife so be honest with her and let her know you feel like she is living in the stone age and she needs to get with it. Especially if you guys have children, the kids will know more than her and a few years - they are teach kids how to use computers in Pre-K now.....

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Sit her down near the computer and play a game, or something else that might interest her. Does, she knit, crochet.? have her go to sites that interest her ? Get her interested.
I seriously don't know what a MP3 player is, it took me years to find out why they made wide screen video tapes. So I do know what you mean. even I feel a bit cavewoman like at times.
If she doesn't ask questions, that means she isn't interested.

Answer 7

I dont find it funny......or unrealistic at all. I never wanted to touch a computer. I've since become addicted. Would you REALLY prefer that?
I dont and dont wish to own a cell phone. NO ONE is that important to be available 24/7.
Perhaps you can explain an MP3 player to me. Tho I really have no interest in such.
Oh yes, and I too get lost on occasion.
Have you ever considered that perhaps she doesnt wish to brought into today's time?

Answer 8

Buy her a cellphone with bluetooth/MP3 and show her how to use it on the computer. That may spark an interest in the wonderful world of technology that we live in today. Everyone Likes music....
Good Luck

Answer 9

I hope you just don't keep her locked up at home, you need to take her out and about, go on vacations, and show and share the world with her. Usually its the men that are a little slower than the women when it comes to many new things. Good Luck.

Answer 10

Does she have to desire to see the world around her? Does she ever leave the house? Have you tried introducing her to the 'world'?

My personal opinion there is something that she is scared of...maybe talking to someone will help her.