My boss is a jerk. What are some ways to deal with this problem?

Question

I work for a small non-profit with a staff of only 5 people. My direct supervisor is a chauvinistic, ridiculously conservative man. He is nosy about my personal business and feels that he can come into my office at any time to talk about my personal life. Regardless of my behavior or quality of work, he can always do something better, know someone better, or find some kind of flaw in my work. He has taken projects away from me when I was three-quarters of the way done with them, and then taken credit for my work.

I am applying to graduate school and will be done with this job in the summer *hopefully* if I am accepted. I just need some advice on how to deal with him for the next five months. Other than my experience with him, I love where I work, and I supremely enjoy all of my other coworkers. Two of my coworkers have found other jobs because they dislike the way the organization is going since my boss started. They will be leaving in February... so sad!

Since the organization is so small, there is no Human Resources to file a complaint.

Answer 1

My dad (very wise man and very good at business and management) told me once that you learn something from every boss you have. From some, you learn what kind of boss you'd like to be someday and from the others you learn what kind of boss you never want to be. So, in his own way, this guy is integral to your experience as a whole. You needed to encounter him, and soon you will be through with that. This "jerk" boss is like every other uncomfortable situation you will encounter in life -- a learning experience. When you are up against it with him, just ask yourself, "What am I supposed to learn from this? What's the lesson here?" If you can, laugh it off inside, because you know you will be gone soon. When you are able to see the lesson, thank the universe for it, and move on. You're right, it's sad that people are leaving the organization because of him. I just read a survey in the news yesterday that said most people don't quit their jobs or quit a company, they quit their BOSS. I have found that to be true in my own situations, and this guy is a perfect illustration of that. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Only you will know the answer to this, but it causes me to wonder (at least a little) that when you went over his head and ended up with a raise, how careful and diplomatic was that accomplished? If there was any part of that over-the-head contact that one could say also included a feeling, a look, or words that expressed your discontent with your boss...or a conveyance of disrespect (even if you don't like him) then, what you are receiving right now, even though you might argue it isn't right and it's not nice, it can also be predicted. Your boss, no matter how bad he is, unskilled he is, unmanagement-like he is, does not look at himself that way, and when a subordinate torpedoes this person, the reaction will probably be very similar as it would be with you, if the roles were reversed. Just human nature. You are both now destined to work together in a close environment, sharing stress and discontent, until someone can't take it anymore and leaves.

Answer 3

This is the reason I quit one of my jobs that I was great @ about 10 years ago. Anyway, now that I have had time to look @ things in retrospect I would straight up confront him. Ask him why he is being an assh*ole to you all the time, what his problem is, why he thinks he can talk all about your personal life (but you can also tell him it is none of his buisness next time he wants to ask about it), and don't be afraid to tell him no (or @ least try and see how far it can get you) when he tries taking a project away from you that you are 3/4 of the way done with. And don't be afraid to call him on it when he takes credit for your work. If you are thinking about leaving anyway you have no reason not to. He probably wouldn't give you a good review anyway. Or, you can do things intervention style and have all of your coworkers list the problems that he has caused. (although it can be hard to get people as a whole united on somthing like that, but it can be done if he is like that to everyone.) but most of all, treat him like he treats you. He might even come to you first wondering what's wrong. if he does, tell him everything.

Answer 4

One approach that people I know have tried, with some success, is to make up a resume for the objectionable person that highlights their good points and anonymously circulate it through headhunter organizations, job fairs, and other job search applications. If you're lucky, the person finds something he/she likes better than his/her current job and leaves. Everybody wins this way, and nobody gets hurt. Of course, it all depends on the person getting viable and acceptable job offers from other places to be completely successful. (At the very least, if this person starts getting calls from headhunters, it might keep him a little bit busier so he doesn't bother you as much.)

Something else you might try: since two of your co-workers have already made definite plans to leave, can either or both of them be persuaded to talk to the objectionable boss's supervisor and very bluntly tell him/her why they are leaving? If they have already accepted jobs elsewhere, they have nothing to lose by doing this, and if management at the place where you are working really wants to retain good people, they need to know that this guy is driving people away.

Good luck to you!

Answer 5

Rule Number One...While the boss works there, he is still the boss. Rule Number Two....you can't change crappy bosses, you can only change jobs.

You will be amazed to discover how this crappy boss has helped you in future jobs. Just put up with him and make the best of a crappy situation. Don't burn a bridge.

You never know....you might be in a position to get revenge in the future.

Answer 6

When he comes into your office to chit chat, tell him you're busy working on the most current project, you'd love to talk, but you're just too busy right now, and end the conversation. Inform him that you're not comfortable discussing anything not work related. Just be as stuffy as possible. Stick to the topic at hand - Work. "I don't see how this applies to my current project."; "I don't have any comment about the most recent movie, I haven't had time to see it." etc. Just be polite but firm. If it's absolutely untolerable, get your resume out there and get another job. I don't have any advice on his stealing of your work, except to inform him that stealing is stealing, regardless of the nature of the theft. It doesn't have to be physical property.

Answer 7

get another job or set him up when he steals your projects. I would of quit the first day. Try really hard to avoid the loud mouth lush.By the way is his skin red? If it is he make have a drinking problem

I know in high school I had this loud mouth, sexist Conservative for a economic teacher.I almost failed the class bec. his comments were soooo upsetting about how he treated his wife. I couldn't pay attention and he would constantly compare his farming tractor to every question. It was torcher! All my other classes I had A's.

Answer 8

I suggest you put your head down, do whatever work he gives you, and wait for the time you can leave.

Continue to socialize with your colleagues, but avoid unnecessary contact with your boss.

heck, a few years from now, when you're graduating with your degree, you won't give a hoot what happened at this place; it's quite likely this jerky boss will be gone, and if you ever need a reference, it'll be neutral, as this is what most nonprofits do when asked for references.

Answer 9

I dealt with this same situation. Ultimately, I was fired because he found a way to get even. However, once I was fired .. I was able to prove to the labor board the type of problem I was having. I referred to it as a hostile work environment. I was able to bring enough evidence to the table to have my former employer fined heavily. Eye for an eye..

Here are some suggestions: Have your co-workers type up and sign a statement of their experiences for you to keep in your records. You need trust for your co-workers to obtain this sort of information. Confronting your boss in front of other workers about the conversations he brings up with you certainly makes them more alert to the fact that you are bold, brazen and willing to bring them into an uncomfortable light. That can either backfire with them retaliating (which you can prepare for) or they will back off. Preparing for retaliation is hard, but can be done. Look up the laws on recording a conversation between yourself and your party. Like where I live, in Texas, only one party needs to be aware of the taping (usually that would be the one taping the conversation). You can reveal that such conversation was taped at the end of the conversation as well, but that can go badly too. Keeping documented evidence of violations of the U.S. labor laws can certainly help you to have a winning case on your hands.

You can certainly try sitting down and having a honest chat with this fellow as well. Ask him why he insists on being so nosey in non-work related affairs and ask him if he is going to continously violate your working rights as a US citizen by harassing you and creating a hostile work environment for you to be employed within.

Latsly - there is always the last resort, which is telling him off in front of everyone (some people claim immaturity to this method, but BOY does it feel GREAT to slam a door in someone's face who rightfully deserves being called a jerk), and then quitting. However, I rather like the method of making their life equally miserable by intentionally doing a horrible job, asking them personal questions about their life, and treating them pretty much mirror image to how I've been treated, thus forcing them to fire me. They may THINK they have the power in that act, but truly you have made them as miserable as they made you, and you had just as much satisfaction in it, if not more than they did while doing it to you.

The above mentioned ... that's for the "I'm going to pop a blood vessel if I don't do something NOW" LAST .. very LAST resort of behavior.

Personally though, I find that gathering enough incriminating evidence of behavior certainly works to put an otherwise out of line person, back into line. I imagine you take these sorts of things with a grain of salt and walk off angry without saying a word. Maybe you need to practice being bold enough to speak up and loudly at that. Ask your boss a reflecting question to his questions. Example?

"Have you been staying out late at night and drinking?"

Your answer: "Why? Is that your interest? If so, I do not partake in those activities, but I do happen to know the name of a good rehab facility you can look into for your problem."

Eventually he will find a lacking desire to pester you about your personal life, quickly realizing it only frustrates him and makes him look like an idiot.

Just a few random tips for handling idiots, jerks and pests. Good luck and remember .... only postmen go postal!

Answer 10

Stick it out. When you decide to resign make sure you note in your letter why you resigned and make sure that letter goes to HIS supervisor not him. OR you can find another job now and write the same resignation letter.

Is there someone above him you can speak to about this? Make notes about the progress you are making on each project in the future so that if there is any discrepancy you have this as proof of your work.

I feel you, I worked for someone like that and it is difficult. Too difficult for me to handle. I now work for a company that I really like.