How do you act with your employer?

Question

I've had a grip of jobs in the past - and I've never stayed long with any of them. I always find myself getting bored and not connecting with anyone. I just don't understand who some people can start a job and everyone welcomes them... and then I start and people go about like it's a normal day. Maybe I'm not professional enough? I don't know. Basically when I start work, I just work. I don't stop and socialize. I feel that if I were to socialize with other employees I may not be taken seriously. I guess I really don't understand the work place. Anyone have any advice on how I can keep a job longer and fit in?

I normally work office jobs... nothing exciting. I find it difficult to fit in. I'll go in a little more detail with the last jobs I've had...

1. Started off receptionist, 1wk later promoted to P.A. and ever since I started there the main people (mostly women, like me) acted cruel to me. Eventually I ended up getting fired.

2. Customer Service junk... worked there for 4 days. I got hired on the spot and once I started they trained me on 1 thing. And then I was fired, they told me I wasn't what they were looking for. Which sucks, cause I totally felt that I fit in there. I was content cause it was the first time that I could social with the women I worked with.

... so it's New Years and I'm suppose to be searching for a job. But I'm getting so down in the dumps cause I can never find a place that meets my needs. :'( And I'm young, 21 - so I don't need to work fulltime (I go to school as well, FT) but money is needed cause my parents don't support me. Part-time isn't an option.

Answer 1

I'm sure I'll get all thumbs down from everyone in every which way, but this is all the truth that I've seen, experienced, and seen other people experience first hand for years. And I'm not backing down from telling the truth for fear of the big thumbs down:

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I've been in your situation for a long time, and just recently figured out what to do.

Basically the work place is like another planet entirely than how your are with friends and family. With friends and family it's about being honest, sincere, open, etc. Their trust, and you feel comfortable. The work place is the complete opposite.

The workplace is all about dishonesty, and fakeness, and then you have your rare occasional cool friend or two. I find that you have to have an incredible shield of thick skin to deal with the unprofessionalism that happens with people attitudes, completely inappropriate jokes, and corrupt managers. You also MUST socialize once in a while to show people that you exist, that your a good person, and that you do good work. And do your BEST with your work to shine as well.

DON'T keep to yourself and hide in a corner or you will be forgotten. You need to stay visible to people so they see the good worker you are.

DON'T let peoples bad behaviors get to you. Smile and let bad behaviors roll off your back and stay positive.

DON'T be afriad to socialize. Learn the people, learn what their comfort zones are in what they feel comfortable in conversating about. Don't talk with them too long, just do it long enough to put them at ease with you. The more friendtly you are to them, no matter how insensitive some people are, the more you look good and puts you at ease around those people.

DON'T get too close to your bosses/managers. Keep those relationships on a strictly business level. Meaning, you can talk to them, but only about your assignments when THEY come to you. And make their visit to you plesant every time so they always see you in a positive light.

DON'T talk about negative things at work no matter how much someone else does. Let them take the fire of offending someone. You should only bring up discussions about positive things. Again, this is the work world, not your personal life. It's all business. Once someone gets offended by you trying to voice your opinions to loudly, you will get shut out. Those people will always see you in a negative light whihc could harm your career dramatically. People voicing their opinions too loudly, usually only works on TV, or for people with the "car salesman" ability to get people to listen.

Mastering your work environment will allow you the ability to understand how to be a manager in some ways. In a way you have to be a psychologist/sociologist.

ALL THOSE WHO DISSAGREE with what I'm saying, are usually the ones who got burned at work, fired, don't make it, complain about how hard it is and do NOTHING about it. Or give up and work in self-employment because they couldn't handle it. Screw that.

Remember, it's all business. These aren't your friends, these are your colleagues, and potential ally's. "Friend" is a relative term. Trust people only as much as they're worth. Trust too much and you'll get hurt and decieved.

I hope this helps. It's worked for me. Now I have ally's, and feel okay about being in the workplace. Before, I felt SO lost.

Answer 2

I have been job hopping for quite sometime though ... you have have to be comfortable with the people that you work with and not become a slave ... you would know in the first of couple weeks when you get a new job ... if you don't connect with anyone - your morale is going to be really low and affects your work ethic and performance and the last thing that you want is the pink slip. Professionalism does come into play, but you have to be somewhat "playful" as work ... work isn't a chore ... work should be fun ... maybe you need a career change ... always get the drama about the company beforehand ... and also, at your first interview and if you know that you are going to get hired, ask if you can test the waters a couple of days before you actually start to see the work flow and the morale of the people that you are going to work with ... I hope that you find your ideal job and I hope that this helps.

Answer 3

Your work ethic ("don't stop and socialize") could be construed as aloof and stand-offish, a loner; maybe you're shy, an introvert. In either case, co-employees don't want to be bothered and therefore you are isolated.

Open up more. Surely some work-related problems arise, take that opportunity to seek help from a co-worker. That will "break the ice". Ask a co-worker where a good place to go to lunch is, maybe you'll be invited to "come along". Join any after work activities - bowling league, etc. (a colleague and I stopped at a local bar after work Friday for "one for the road", within 6 months 12-15 co-workers had joined us).

The more you let your personality shine, the more you will fit in.

Answer 4

The workplace isn't a place to socialize, however there needs to be some socialization because we are all human beings.
I don't socialize at all either, mostly because I just like keeping to myself and there is nothing wrong with that. But keep note that it is important because some may take offense if you keep to yourself constantly. Sometimes I have to make an effort to strike up a conversation so people won't think that I'm unapproachable. The main goal in the workplace is your job duties but it also helps to make small talk - you never know, you might learn something valuable.

Answer 5

Yes.... probably something you had not considered before. Go into business for yourself. The rewards are better and the risk is greater so you WILL pay attention and not get bored. How well it works or doesn't work depends greatly on the effort you are willing to put forth. Find a niche market that someone is not yet filling and fill it. You don't have to be the cheapest on the block, quality not found in other's products or services is what keeps people coming back for repeat business.

When it is your bread that is being buttered, you will learn how to socialize and not fear doing so when you see the results it brings.

Answer 6

A fair question, but not easily answered because Jobs and the people you will be working with, vary so much. What works in one place could be disastrous in another. When I found a job where I could be myself and everybody looked out for each-other I stayed put. Sorry, the only advise I can give is to be honest, and If you need to move on keep looking until you find an employer that appreciates you, and allows you to feel comfortable.

Answer 7

I've had two "real" jobs... for 2 1/2 months I was a housekeeper at a large hotel but quit because it was off season and I needed REAL money so I could start a life away from my 'rents [which hasn't happened yet!] and I was a Sales Associate at Penningtons for 3 months as Temp help.. All these jobs got me experience which will help me out in the long run but at the tail end of my contracts with the companies I found myself getting bored and really hating work.. .. I thought both jobs were the ones I'd love forever but they weren't.. What I suggest is finding a place in towns near your home [like in my hometown we got the Victoria County Career Services they help you make resumes, help you get jobs/find jobs, they host workshops etc]

So I suggest taking a workshop that involves you talking to somebody about what you like/love to do and it should help you find out what career is best for you.

I LOVE dealing with people but hated trying to push clothing on them and make them buy something they really don't want.. But I loved working the cash and doing debit and chatting to the people so I think I'd be a good cashier so ya.. haha.. Good luck!

Answer 8

Working hard and minding your own business are good traits. That being said, you have to understand that when you come into a new job, you are the outsider and the other employees will be measuring you. It is important that you reach out to start with. Putting your nose on the grindstone can wait a week or so until you have connected with the other employees. Just be friendly and curious. It works everytime.

Answer 9

I can relate to what you are saying, I am not a gossiping Ann like some people. I go to work to work and not keep up with all of the chic chat.

What has worked for me is to greet the workers in the morning, and head for my work area. If they are standing around talking that there business. I use to think that I was a fool for working and they were not. I decided that I would use that time to improve my working skills. I would practice typing, use a new software program, doing personal research, etc.

The more time that they wasted the better I became at my job. Then it became time to take a test for a promotion, I had more skills then they did.

Only in a dictionary will you find success before work.

Answer 10

I have a similar problem. I have never been one to try and assimilate with others in a corporate environment. I loathe things like Christmas parties and other social events at the work place. I didn't take the job to make friends; I took it to put my skills to use and WORK (imagine that!?!). If you are not willing to do what is expected of you in the way of small talk and socializing at the workplace, have you considered self-employment? Another less risky option is taking an "outside" position at a company, such as sales. In these types of positions, you are not in the office as much and are better able to avoid the social activity that would be expected of you if you were "in house."