My boyfriend since highschool and I are back together. He was always a really nice guy and all throughout highschool I cheated on him with an old boyfriend and other guys. I tricked him into getting me pregnant by telling him that I was on the pill, we had a daughter and lucky for me the child was his. Finally he decided he did not want to be with me anymore when he went away to the military. While he was gone I had another boyfriend and we moved in together, and I became pregnant again just when my highschool boyfriend returned from the military. I broke up with my new boyfriend and my highschool boyfriend moved in. I'm going to have a girl and I'm pretty sure that the child is not my highschool boyfriends, who wants to give her his mother's name. Should I just have the child and let my highschool boyfriend sign the birth certificate and give her his mother's name. After he grows to love the child, maybe he will not care that it isn't his.
2007-01-03 03:50:05 · 52 answers · asked by Candance1811 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Maybe, maybe not. But you better tell him.
2007-01-03 03:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's not a good idea to do this to a guy..u love.And when the child gets in a certain age the child will also need to know the truth...and u'll just make this harder on u.So therefore u should tell him..and even if he leaves u...he knows that he has a daughter left with u...And if he goes u should be lucky enough to get another guy that will care for u...since u were with so many....so I'd gusse u lucky with getting guys.And most easier thing I can think of...u should take him on the "Mauray Show".Maybe u might have a chance of him accepting it the way it is.
2007-01-03 05:25:33 · answer #2 · answered by Annabella 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
See what you go through for doing things you know are not right?
What I see here is that you are messing up you own life. Life is a cycle where you cheat you get cheated back sooner or later. Cheating hurts! You are first hurting yourself then your boyfriend's trust.
You should know him enough to know what his reaction will be.
Advice: Tell the truth always. Lies always come to light. Tell him the truth. Let the new boyfriend know the child is his, he might be happy to be a father maybe not. Who knows?, but at least you do your part the correct way. You are the case here where you might lose both men. This will be the end result of your mistake.
2007-01-03 05:35:22 · answer #3 · answered by liz777 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a very tough question to answer because it would be very wrong to not be honest from the beginning. How would you feel if the situation were reversed? Have you thought of the implications as far as child support if you were to seperate in the future and the child wasn't his? He would have to pay for that child if he is on the birth certificate. You need to be honest, if not for him or you, but for the child. It should be his choice to accept responsibility for a child that is not his because the law can be very unfair for men who are tricked this way. Please tell him.
2007-01-03 03:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Tink 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow! this is a complicated situation,but again I have to say that the best policy is communication.You don't want to continue lying to this man because it seems as tho you may have hurt him enouf in the past by cheeting.You should have been honest with him in the beginning when he moved in...and told him then that you were seeing someone while he was away and you guys were separated and you are now pregnant.If he loves you he will stay with you and you guys can make it work,but your chances of working out after lying till the baby is somwhat grown will go down.Be honest,talk to him...he will appriciate the honest now more than he will appreciate be deseaved for so long and believing somehting that isnt true.That would be a huge smack in the face for anyone.And I think you should talk to someone about your problem with cheeting and lying to trick osmeone into getting pregnant.It seems like you are putting yourself inbetween a rock and a hard place.Make up your mind on who you want to be with and stay monogomous and you wont be in these situations.good luck and please take no offense.
2007-01-03 03:59:58 · answer #5 · answered by chica 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell both guys about your situation. First off you shouldn't lie to the current boyfriend, because WHEN he finds out it will be that much harder. And the other guy who could possibly be the baby's real dad has every right to know that he may be having a baby on the way. Don't be selfish for yourself think of the baby and they guys you are effecting!
2007-01-03 06:38:02 · answer #6 · answered by mightyquinn317 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah....well he might grow to love the child and not hate her for not being his, but if he ever finds out the truth do u honestly think he`s not gonna hate u for lying to him for so long, and for cheating on him? if u think he will never fnd out, just think about this: the kid might need some medical interventoin, an operation or smth and the parents are the ones they test first to find a match.....i`m all against lying....and this is really serious! u might not wanna lose him, but this whole situation u got yourself and him into is 100% unfair.....mostly for him!!!! u should think real hard what consequences do your actions have on other ppl`s lives....do u know it for a fact that u won`t cheat on him again? if not, do u really want to ruin his chance for happiness buy getting him stuck in a bad relationship, which is based on a lie? it`s really not about whether he`ll love the kid or not.....
2007-01-03 05:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by dNbBabe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The key to a good relationship is communication. Tell him the child might not be his, and let him decide what to do. Have a dna test done once the child is born. If it is his, he may take the risk and stay with you. If it is not his, he is better off without you!
2007-01-03 05:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
something is wrong with you, he should have left you a long time ago, be a woman and tell the guy that this child isnt his, the child would deserve to know who their real father is, and not go through any suffering learing later on when they find out who they thought was their father really isnt, think of your child's best interest and not your own....
2007-01-03 06:09:09 · answer #9 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to him the situation. Look I was in a relationship before you got here and I'm not sure if this is your baby or my ex's. Be honest. If he takes a paternity test and it is not his then be prepared for the fact that he will probably leave you. Respect yourself by respecting those that love you.
2007-01-03 04:26:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth. Set him free. It sounds like he has been trying to break away from you most of his life. He'll hate you if you wait and trick him. You don't have a clue how lucky you are to have a guy that loves you like he does, you also don't deserve him. Please don't teach your daughter to trick, cheat and lie her way to love.
2007-01-03 05:09:59 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋