is he being a butt??

Question

What to do? I have been sleeping on the sofa for months. Reason is that whenever i sleep in the bed and turn hubby down for sex, he gets all mad and we get in a fight. Even if we have sex two or three times in a week, if i turn him down, he gets pissed. ( We have three kids) and even though he tries to help out with them, sometimes i just want to be left alone and get some sleep like everyone else in the house. He Always Always goes to bed way before i do and then wakes up when i go to bed and wants some ( after hes had some rest). anyway. what can i say to make him understand that he is being unreasonable? (getting tired of the sofa)

(im awake dealing with kids, laundry, etc while he is asleep) tv ya right.

Answer 1

I would just try bringing some toys to bed with you to try and spice it up a little. Then maybe you would be more excited to go to bed!

Answer 2

Yes, he's being a butt! ;)

I don't understand how HE doesn't understand that you could be tired sometimes. Have you asked him why he can't respect it when you turn him down? Or rather, use "I statements" so that it doesn't come off like you're attacking him.
Or maybe tell him that you're not in the right frame of mind at the moment and that you'd like to be intimate with him when you can be more focused on pleasuring him.
Still, if he's not willing to listen or is just constantly taking offense then I don't know what you could possibly do.
I posted a similar question a couple of hours ago in this category and perhaps there are answers there that could be helpful. There were conflicting opinions but maybe you'll find one that is relevant to your situation.

Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all you never said if you had a job or if your a stay at home mom? Two things if you stay home with the kids it's your job to do the house work. And if you are a stay at home mom, why don't you have your work done before your husband comes home? What are you doing all day? I know we mom's can fall behind, because there out side things you need to do, like go to the store, pay bills etc.......The only real thing you should have left to do is cook and cleaning the kicthen after wards. And putting the kids to bed. You need to schedule your day better. If your husband comes home from work in rest, so what. If you get on a schedule you will have time for your husband. If your husband whats sex give it to him. Now if your a working mom, and your doing all the household choice,while he "resting" that's not right. Then it's time to make a deal. You need to tell him look if you expect sex out of me every night, when we come home from work you need to help me. For we both can go to bed together, because what we got going, this schedule is not working, and before it gets worse we need to change it. OK honey I love you. Then go buy for you the proper care and feeding of husbands and for the both of you go buy ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger

Answer 4

He should be up helping you with the kids so you can get to bed a little earlier. At this rate, sex is becoming another "chore" for you and he's not bright enough to resolve the issue. He needs to get up and help out earlier. That will help resolve the issue.

Spouses are not like cars that are "serviced." A marriage is supposed to be about nurturing each other and respect.

Answer 5

Your husband needs to be a grown-up and not one of the children.

You're partners and he's supposed to understand that you're both parents and sometimes that can be exhausting.

You should be sleeping in your own bed beside him without feeling pressured to have sex.

Answer 6

Seems to me that you have a choice. Either he gets sex from you or the neighbor. Take your pick.
It actually sounds like there is more wrong here than just demands for sex, which is a part of a normal marriage.

Answer 7

try giving it to him before he goes to sleep and you can go back to watching tv or what ever you are doin that is so important