What do you think I should do?

Question

I have this freind, I have known here for a few years now, we lived together for a while, she lost her job and I supported her paid her share of rent etc. She also has this kind of boyfreind who treats her like dirt, when ever they "split up" she is always calling me and I put my life on hold and support her, she took an over dose last year and I dropped everything and went round to help her. Now she is back with him, she dosnt text, she dosnt call me, she wont answer or return my phone calls unless she is at a lose end, in fact she dosnt even bother with me, yet always has time for other mates that cant be bothered with her when she is in trouble. At the moment I have some problems and just need someone to talk to but well she just wont answer her phone, I have never questioned or put presure on her, I have always been there when she has needed me even when it has cost me? what should I do? I know if I speak to her she will just say she has her life now? am I being unreasonable?

Answer 1

No your not being unreasonable, but it seems like this has been going on for a long time and at some point you have to take the hint. You are a friend, you don't have a friend. People always think their own lives are more important than anything else, but a true friend (like yourself) makes time for people in distress. The problem is, this girl will never be the kind of friend you are, so it's time to decide: Do you forget about her and move on? Do you accept her for how she is and live with it? That's your decision.
I had what I thought was a best friend, just like yours. Whenever there was crisis in her life, she was pounding on my door. Whenever I had even the smallest problem, well suffice to say it was either I couldn't get ahold of her, or she was less than interested to listen to me. I decided that she would be moving from the good friend category to the "casual acquaintance" category, and my life is much better. I don't expect anything from her and am not disappointed when I don't get it. I'd say, time to cultivate some new friendships. Good Luck.

Answer 2

not at all. it seems you have done everything for this girl and yet she doesnt appreciate nor return any of the friendship you have given her. I'd say if she has got a life now you do the same get out there and find some friends that will be there for you when you need someone to talk to. Try to resist dropping everything for her if she ever gets in trouble again i know it'll be hard but she should learn from her own mistakes without having to assume or rely on you everytime something goes wrong for her she doesnt deserve you. get out there and try and forget about this so-called friend. Good luck and hope that helps xx

Answer 3

I am very sorry to hear that.
It's so very unfair, disgusting and painful not to be able to count on your friends when you need them, especially when you've been there for them.
Well, it's exactly as they say, in its difficult time that you can see who your true friends are.
By the sound of it, you've been a true friend to this girl, quite possibly in love with her, but as you can see, she's been taking advantage of your good heart and feelings big time.
All is working well for her at the moment, so obviously, she can't be bothered with you, precisely because she knows that she can see how you feel about her and knows that you've such a good heart that you'll always take her back.
Well, hopefully her betrayal and defection hurts enought for you to see through her game and appreciate how selfish, cold and callous a person she is.
She can't be a friend, certainly not a good one, let alone a possible girlfriend.
You're much better off without her.
You know that don't you.x
Ps: you are not being unreasonable; You just expect to receive as much as you give. Right from the heart.
Well, she ain't like that.
Don't count on it.
Find someone else to spend your precious time with and money on.xx

Answer 4

Your not being unreasonable at all! I have always thought that friendship was a two way thing, but its nothing if your the one always giving and getting nothing in return, after all your only asking for a little bit of support!
At the end of the day you are the better person and its time you made a few new friends, ones who are there for you too!

Answer 5

i can see ur point of view here. even though im 13 i go through this situation a lot a high school. ok go to were she lives @ a time u know she'll be in. as she comes to the door tell her it's ergent & you must speak with her - DON'T take no 4 an answer. tell her what she makes you feel like and all the other things you need to tell her. and if she doesn't wake up and smell the roses - as in your life i'd ditch the girl and find a m8 u can b much closer with preferable a boy!!

Answer 6

You're not being unreasonable at all. You're always there when she needs you and as your friend she should return the friendship.
Cut her out you life. Doesn't sound like she'll ever change and she'll just keep using you.
Friends that are true friends don't just turn up hen they want somebody.
I had a friend just like her and I ended up trying to explain how she made me feel. I thought we could work something out but a year late she's still mad at me for even suggesting she wasn't a very good friend. I'm better off without her and you are better off without your 'friend'

Answer 7

no your not being unreasonable whats fair is fair when she needed u was there now u happen to need her and she doesn't have time for u .. if she cant return the favor then she really isnt a good friend,, u cant turn off when and wat time u can be a friend either shes ur friend or she isnt jus try and talk with her and tell her how u feel in this matter and see how she reacts dont give up on her yet jus try and reach her...good luck

Answer 8

good freinds allways find time for each other no matter whats going on in their life sorry but forget her i have a freind who ive known for 3 and half years she is 22years younger than me but without her i wouldnt be here today she pulled me threw when my wife left in sept last year sorry not anything going on between us just really good mates worked togther anyway sorry but as saying owe my life to her and her support but over those years weve allways been there for each other day or night she like my little sis and im her big brother nobody hurts my little sis and vice versa we both know thats how it will allways be her partner knows that and so does my new love bug thats freindship true freindship

Answer 9

Sounds like she's a human leech! A friendship works amicably. If you were there for her, she needs to be there for you. Next time she comes running to you for help, tell her you 'have a life' now. Attempting suicide is often used in a manipulative way; don't fall prey to that. A person shouldn't bite the hand that once fed them...

Answer 10

You know what? Leave her. She's not worth it. I had a friend like that. I gave her my life. Dropped everyting for her, paid for her ticked back to UK when she had a pannic attack in Africa and wanted to come home, walked out of a job to drive up to Glasgow (from Leeds) when she had an overdose,and stuff like that. Then when I called her with a problem (girlfriend problem's, you know) she said I never did anyting for her, then she went off on one. I hung up, wrote a letter explaining that I did do stuff for her and had been there for her for many occasions and if she wanted a drink to call and we'd go out. She sent me a text telling me to go to hell, she has her own life. Walk away my friend. People like this dont deserve us!