How do you know when its right to get engaged?

Question

I am 40 years old and have been dating this absolutely wonderful woman (36 years old) for two months. We have literally spent everyday together since we have met and have connected on virtually every level. I love her dearly and everything seems perfect. Our kids all get along, our families like each of us, etc. We have even had a few "arguments" that were handled properly and peacefully resolved the way they should be. We both have varied pasts and past relationships that have done their fair share of damage to us, but we seem to have grown from them individually. We have discussed marriage and long term plans and are both very comfortable with it. So heres the question - Is it too soon to get engaged after 3 months and should you allow outside factors such as school schedules/years (we both have kids), maintaining two households, convenience, distance, etc to dictate when or how soon you get married?

Answer 1

Marriage is a big step and your kids should be considered when deciding to get married. I would suggest premarital counseling to make sure you guys get off on the right foot. I think it's ok to get engaged. You can have a long engagement if you need to. I was engaged for over a year before getting married. We had time to make sure everything was in order so our marriage would be on a solid foundation. And it's been pretty much bliss since then, with the few expected bumps. But we had the skills to work things out quickly.

Answer 2

Your relationship sounds like it is going great as is. Whats the hurry to get married? or engaged.? Even though everyone seems to be getting along, just wait till you all live in the same house. Leave things alone for now. It sounds like you both are committed to this relationship, don't mess it up. Blended families are very difficult at best. Do you think your relationship can withstand the storms to come? A whole new set of rules, demands, expectations, problems. Think about it. Enjoy where you are. The fact that you are asking the question says alot.

Answer 3

I was engaged three months after meeting the woman of my dreams, married six months later, and we have been happily married for 6 years. What I recommend is seeing a couples' counselor together. They will be able to help you sort out any baggage you are carrying and make sure that you are on the same page relationship-wise. You obviously have a lot of questions that need to be answered, such as who is moving in with whom? It is best to have a professional help you sort it all out before making such a drastic and life-changing decision at your point in life. If that goes well, then go ahead!

Answer 4

I honestly believe that you just know when its right, no matter what the time frame is. There are people in this world who got married after knowing each less time than that and they were happy together for the rest of their lives.
You should take into consideration all factors but don't let them dictate whether or not you spend your life with this person. when you truly love someone and are committed to spending the rest of your life together, together you make it work. It takes sacrifice, compromise, and belief in each other but it can be done.

Answer 5

A deep connection is simply not reason enough to get married. I know that it may feel right and you feel like you've met your soul mate but you need to think things through all the way. For me, three months would be way too soon to even seriously consider marriage but it may be enough time for you. Ultimately it's your choice but PLEASE take into account your family - especially the children. Make sure they're a part of the decision making process, too. Good luck!

Answer 6

I've heard of sooner engagements.

It's engagement, not marriage yet. Once you can do all the final agreements on distance, kids, schools, all that you mentioned, it will all fall into place.

Good Luck and CONGRATS!!