thor those of you who have read my last question ( http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnGpIe3HzPnALEYu7PVbSbQgBgx.?qid=20061231221225AA8SvXs ) I Love this girl (Y) but she is goig out with my friend (X)
(for more info, please read my previous question)
anyways, she is now 5 weeks pregnant, but she has decided to abort the baby, because it will disrupt her last year at college and she has in sept.
she is having it aborted tomorrow, and although i am not happy with the fact that she has slept with X, i still want her to be happy, even if it means i am not! :( i am going to be behind her 200% all the way though.
so i guess what i'm asking is.....
what's the best thing to say/text/email/do,etc, to show i am there for her?
any and all input greatly appreciated! :D
2007-01-03 03:03:59 · 25 answers · asked by seanmccarthyuk2003 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
forgot to ask :S.....
is there anything i can text her now to comfort her? (e.g: "don't be scared" or something along those lines)
BTW, i myself am not pleased that this was her "only", but if that is what she wants, that's fine by me!
2007-01-03 03:09:18 · update #1
Just be supportive. It sounds like you are a good friend to her, and you should just continue to be so. Now isn't the time to actually come out and tell her your feelings since she has enough on her plate with having an abortion and dealing with the wealth of emotions that comes with that. However, let her know that you care about her, respect her decision, and will be there for her no matter what happens. Tell her that you will be there to help her through this whenever she wants. That you'll just listen if that's all she needs, or you will bring over a fun movie or a milkshake...whatever she feels she needs at the moment.
I have a feeling that if you stick by her, don't be pushy, but just let her know that you are there for her, that once her life settles down a bit, she'll realize you are the one for her. A woman needs a man to care for her and respect her, so just do that enough and I'm sure everything will work out.
2007-01-03 03:11:14 · answer #1 · answered by Natty 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She should not abort the baby... Hell, I would even take the baby... Give the baby to someone who cannot have a baby of their own. Then it wouldn't disrupt her last year in college, and you both will be doing a great thing by giving someone the baby who can't have one. Just be there, tell her your there for her, but I wouldn't abort the baby.
2007-01-03 11:22:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're very mature in standing aside while your heart is aching. It's not an easy thing to do. I would let her know that you are there for her if she needs you. In your age group, friends are really more precious than lovers when thinking of longevity. To be honest, you sound like someone who deserves a girl with a little more class than to be making out knowing her lover's friend can hear. And, if your friend doens't show her much respect and she's still with him....well, we can only be treated how we allow ourselves to be....Good luck to you.....
2007-01-03 11:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by bfwh218 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being careful of course with a reminder that her heart and thoughts are with another and that whatever you may say may or may not be taken whole heartedly.
Be simple and supportive.
"I'm always here and always your friend"
Her decision is what is best for her, but it will make her very sad for a while and perhaps forever, yet she will offset that with rational thoughts of her future and her education. Be there for her without being there. Be a shadow, but be careful not to get to emotionally invovled. If your life and heart are true your timing in all that is to be will come together.
2007-01-03 12:39:39 · answer #4 · answered by NoAnswers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
But for the grace of punctuation go I - 'Friend, I fancy having abortion tomorrow'.
You need to leave it up to her - whatever her reasons for doing it, it's because it's firstly what she needs to do. The reasons, as far as you or anyone else is concerned are, I'm afraid, second place in that conundrum.
Accept your fate and those around you. All you can do is learn for these valuable lessons, each and every one.
2007-01-03 12:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by Just_wondering 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It must be really hard for you, but you just have to tell her that you will be there for her if she ever needs you. I wouldn't tell her how you feel about her though as she is probably more hurt and confused about what she's going to do tomorrow than she's letting on. Maybe in time she will realise that you are right there in front of her. Good luck x
2007-01-03 11:13:25 · answer #6 · answered by Leanne O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just say what you put on the last bit of your post....i am here for you no matter what.....that's all you need to say because although she's having a termination, she is still going to be emotional, and this may have a long term affect on her....it's a tough decision to make, i was there for a friend recently....she is havin a hard time dealing with it and is feeling he guilt really bad now so just be there and comfort her when she needs you...
2007-01-03 12:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its nice to no that she is lucky enough to have such a supportive friend!!I would just txt her saying that you will be thinking about her tomorrow and that if she needs you she nos where you are and is welcome to talk to you wheneva she needs to!!She might be fine thou!she might just be relieved more than anything that its over!! x
And everyone that is calling her a baby killer needs to shut the hell up!!You dont no what you are talking about and are very small minded!!!
2007-01-03 11:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by jo 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the only thing you can honestly do is be there for her, give her a shoulder to cry on and just make sure she knows that you are!
As for her abortion, it really is her decision and she has to do the right thing for herself even if you don't see it that way.
2007-01-03 12:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by jumpin_jelly_cat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just be there for her, she might need somebody and dosent know who to turn to
also in your last question if you feel that you are betraying your friend and risking the friendship between you if you tell her how you feel, hasn't he the one who has betrayed you??
good luck with whatever happens
2007-01-03 11:29:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋