We have been married 9 years and I went to see the attorney yesterday. He knows it is coming, but he does not know I saw the attorney yet. He has been very mean lately, well, for most of our marriage.
2007-01-03 02:50:09 · 41 answers · asked by ssc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sure, get him a little something. Be the bigger person. How about some luggage?
2007-01-03 02:52:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think at this point, getting him a gift would make things worse. You went to see an attorney seeking a divorce which he's going to get papers. You also stated that he's aware that the divorce is coming but he's not aware of you seeing the attorney. Honestly what you need to do is be honest with him. Tell him that you've seeked advise from an attorney. You're taking the necessary steps to end your marriage. At this point you buying him a gift may cause a problem and he may take it as an insult. That is adding fuel to the fire. If you feel that you want to buy him a gift either discuss it with him to see how he feels about you and him exchanging gift or at least let him know that you've taken the necessary steps to end the marriage however you'd like to be peaceful and give him a gift.
2007-01-03 03:53:03 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a gift of reconcilnation, that you change your mind that you want to work on your marriage.
he is mean, because, he feels threaten by you leaving anyway, and once you tell him sincerely that you forgive him, that you truly want to make your marriage work, and don't want a divorce, your marriage can be restored even, all the years of bad times too, and just don't ever bring up the bad past again.
YOu would not be thinking about a gift for him if you were not sure if you really want a divorce.
Get a book that how to restore a marriage, and work on forgiveness
2007-01-03 03:28:02 · answer #3 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, Why would you want to get him a present. Sounds like you are trying to hang on and let go at the same time. Be done with it, if that is your decision and move on. Maybe he will then seek help for his attitude. It is a wake up call to know that your mate has had enough. I assume you did discuss the problem. Good luck to you Honey and I hope there are no children involved. If so, don't stay together for the children if he is mean. You are mirrors for your children and a bad home life changes who they are. DO NOT BUY HIM A GIFT !!! Wish him Happy Birthday !!
2007-01-03 03:08:47 · answer #4 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he has been as you say "mean to you for most of your marriage" why would you want to get him a present. Let the divorce papers be the present. You don't seem like the type of person that would do that. SO just get on with your life and let sleeping dogs sleep.
2007-01-03 03:18:51 · answer #5 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay so tell me what the purpose of the anniversary is? It is to celebrate your wedding day. To show each other how HAPPY you are that you married each other. To show love and dedication year after year. Buuuut if you are divorcing, what is there to celebrate? If anyone should be getting a gift, I would say get yourSELF a gift for getting out of a marriage that you no longer wish to be in.
2007-01-03 02:57:07 · answer #6 · answered by an88mikewife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to feel good that you gave him something on the anniversary of a day that you obviously made a mistake........ Give a donation to a charity in your community in his name, send it to him in a sympathy card (sorry for your loss works!) with the bill from your lawyer for filing for the divorce. That way you feel like you got him something nice and a deserving person in your area actually gets some needed assistance.
2007-01-03 03:29:29 · answer #7 · answered by Koskimo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, no gift is needed. You seeing the attorney should be a gift in itself!
Let the mean bastard wonder why he didn't get a gift this year. Does he always rememeber the anniversary? IF so, all you can hope for is he doesn't remember.
If he get's you a gift, give it back! Say no thanks!
2007-01-03 02:54:05 · answer #8 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no. A present might give him the impression that a reconciliation is possible. If that is not the case, I would just let the day pass like any other day. Good Luck.
2007-01-03 02:57:12 · answer #9 · answered by Blue-Eyed Guy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends if you want to confuse him or not. One day get a present and the next get a divorce. If I was your husband I would either be confused or laugh.
2007-01-03 03:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Lisa... getting a gift will give the wrong impression. Get him a card that simply has a return envelope as well as a note that says insert half your cheque here!
2007-01-03 02:54:20 · answer #11 · answered by just_out_side 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋