Do you think it is possible for either member of a couple to have good friends of the opposite sex without hurting their relationship with their partner? Would the outside friend have to be friendly with the other partner to start with? Have you seen it work? Have you seen it fail?
2007-01-03 02:46:06 · 29 answers · asked by Tapestry21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I both have friends of the opposite sex and have since we met eight years ago. It has to be a mutual respect and trust. I know that my husbands female friends are not interested in him and the same goes for him. It is best that you never hide your friends from your partner and your friends show respect to your partner as well. If your partners friend is truly just a friend then he/she will not have a problem with talking to and being around you. Same goes for everyone involved. If you feel that something isn't right explain your feelings rather than jumping to conclusions.
2007-01-03 02:53:07 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this can happen and be perfectly natural and fine. the problem comes when the other partner is a jealous person. If they are jealous, they can imagine things are happening that aren't. This can cause some real problems and difficulties that aren't necessary. My wife has guy friends and although I do get a little jealous at times, I know it is only a friendship, so I trust her and set my jealousy aside. It is natural to get jealous when your significant other shows any kind of attention to someone of the opposite sex, you just have to keep that jealousy in check. It sends the signal that you don't trust your partner and that is where the troubles can start.
The couple just needs to communicate feelings and be honest with each other. This will eliminate a lot of possible distrust issues.
2007-01-03 02:52:00 · answer #2 · answered by PDH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! so long as you BOTH know that's all they are. Friends, when you give the other reason to be suspicious then you should expect suspicion and a lack of trust from your partner. My husband and I talked about how other women and myself don't see EYE TO EYE on a lot of things and I'm a better friend with males. I am proud to say my husband and I came to this understanding years ago and have never had any problems when I have been alone with a man (namely mutual friends). I have female friends too btw, Him trusting me in the presence of another man was enough for me to know I would not try or even think about doing something to lose that trust. But not all people (m/f) choose to remember this when an 'opportunity knocks'.
2007-01-03 03:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by MrsPTB4Life 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming people have lives before they met us, of course they can. I wouldn't make much of a fuss about it unless it cuts into time you spend with each other. In time, if no big deal is made, it resolves itself into a comfortable, not too frequent situation, and its nice if the couple enjoys all the friends of the other partner, not just the opposite sex ones. Whether it works or fails has to do with the people involved, not the fact of the relationship existing.
2007-01-03 03:01:32 · answer #4 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a few female friends and I have TONS of male friends.... It works just fine. Some of my guy friends are now good friends with my husband. People, regardless of gender can still be friends with no problems.
Me and my husband have been together for over 3 years. He is amazing and I trust him 100% and he trusts me as well.
Also just a note: I noticed while reading all of your answers, it sounded like the people who have the longest relationships were trusting of their partners and didnt care if their significant other had opposite gender friends. Just something I noticed in all of the other answers.
2007-01-03 03:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but be smart. I am a married wife of 20 years - happily. I have 2 male friends (not gay) of over 10 years that I have no attraction to. The are both married over 20 years and wives approve of me too. So does my husband. My husband hangs with work friend once in a great while because he works in nursing. I met my friend in little league and became a coach and board member of a very male dominate community. Some appear to want to be "just friends" and then wanted more..I push them away. I am lucky to know the difference, have a trusting husband and 2 great male friends.
I hope this helps.
2007-01-03 02:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by schmitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a gang of friends of the opposite sex, i do not like the idea of having a lot of female friends- to much gossip. My partner knows this before we got together so it does not affect our relationship and he is not friendly with them. The only adjustment that i made was to spend less time with my friends and more with my partner.
2007-01-03 02:52:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the reasons why marriages fail is because couples become what they are not in order to please the other. In the process, they suffocate and the marriage tumbles.
If I had been friends with you (me, a man; you, a woman) and I get married to her. I don't expect her to expect that my friendship with you will come to an end. If that friendship was meant to grow within the confines of that platonic relationship, then for my happiness she must accept. I will do so, too. But in reality, immediately I get married to Sharon and she starts sulking when I'm with you, I quickly end that friendship in order to make her happy. That's being a fake.
Remember, the fact that I chose you out of the millions others is an indication that I have that special kind of love for you. After all, there's more than one kind of love. So, the other love must not be jealous of the love!
2007-01-03 03:00:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all know somebody of the opposite sex that would like to get a hold of our significant other, but you have to know how to weed those out. The other person must act willing to include you in conversations, outings, and must want you involved too. In other words, if you feel like the third wheel then it is not healthy for the relationship. One of my best friends since grade school is of the opposite sex and he and his wife both include me in all they do. I don't just call him without asking to speak with her, nor do I visit him when she is not around. Regardless of how much she trusts me, I also want to respect her. So it all depends on the type of person that is involved. IF the other person seems shady and does not include you, then you are right to suspect something else may be going on....Good Luck!
2007-01-03 02:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It works for me. I have a male friend that I have been friends with for 20 years my partner is fine with him as he trusts me. In the past fellas have not liked it but I have said either they accept him or leave. I love this mate like a brother and he has always been there for me, he doesn't get in the way of my relationship and I have time for him as well as my relationship, kids and job. I can understand how it might not work but if there is trust in the relationship then it should be fine
2007-01-03 02:50:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋