We have been separated before but he wouldn't let me get on alone with our son so we got back together, coz I gave in. I feel suffocated. We are not marry, I can't marry him. He has caused me debt of over £50K, when I met him I never even had a credit card and only used a standard savings account. We lost our house through repossesion when I was a few months pregnant. I have a good job though as I finished my degree whilst pregnant. He has a temper and puts me down even to my son.
2007-01-03 02:34:19 · 13 answers · asked by rhb001_99 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him, he is an unworthy ingrate !
Do not put your son in jeapordy and get over the what if complex, move your life forward without him and you will begin to see the light.
I know it might sound harsh but sometimes a good kick in the seat of the pants is what is needed for folks to get into gear and move forward.
You are a smart woman why not put your child and you at the top of your priority list.
2007-01-03 02:39:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to take your child and leave as soon as possible. If you're afraid to do it while he's home wait until he's gone or call the police and have them come while you remove your things. It sounds as though you can make it on your own without him and therefore because he knows he's being a problem. You need to get rid of him before something serious happens. Take your child to a family member for the time being. If you don't have a family member close by then turn to a friend but you need to save you and your child while you can. You're never going to have anything including happiness as long as you have this person in your life. But first and most importantly you have to make up in your mind that you've had enough and that when you leave you won't be going back and he can't come back. Teach your son that it's not ok to have a temper towards women. Right now what your son sees and hears it's good for him. Your son will grow up thinking that what this man does towards you and ok and he will do it towards women. Unfortunately what's to say that the female your son does it towards won't kill him or have a family member that gets upset of your son's treatment of their child and kill him. You need to get your son into a better environment and get him a better role model.
2007-01-03 10:59:58 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some where you are there is a safe house for abused women. A man who takes your money and has a temper is enough reason to find one. If he caused you debt when you aren't even married to him see if you can sue him or have him arrested if he did any of this without your knowledge. Do you have the equivalent of a restraining order in your country? Speak to a lawyer and see what is available to you both for your safety and your financial future. Don't just runaway, get your self some help first, so he can't come after you. And don't let him anywhere near your cards or checkbook again.
2007-01-03 10:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to be very careful when you do leave him. Do you have a family member that will let you and your son move in with them, I don't think you need to move out and live by yourself for the simple fact that he would be able to do what he wants and noone will be around, I would say- pack up you and the kids clothes one day when hes at work and move- but leave him a note saying that your just not happy and he can call you to see his son whenever he wants. Dont make things really hard or stressfull on him because he might get meaner, just leave quietly and allow him his parental rights. Good Luck, if you think your in physical danger contact your local police department they might help.
2007-01-03 10:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by paradiseintn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there, but i was married. It's hard to face but the best thing you can do for yourself and your child is get the hell out. He needs you, you don't need him. You sound like a strong woman, I had nothing when I left & I was scared, but it does get better over time I promise. You need the support of family & friends. I have come a long way and he is addicted to drugs, no job, nothing. He will only bring you farther down. I belive that's how I would be if I had stayed. Good luck I hope this advice works and you and your child get everting you want out of life.
2007-01-03 10:47:39 · answer #5 · answered by Debi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like you made a bad choice in this guy. But you can change, do not make another bad choice by staying. Contact a credit counseling agency for advice on what to do about the debt if you leave him. THEN LEAVE!
It will be tough for awhile, but will be the best for you and your son in the long run. Don't wait!
2007-01-03 10:41:19 · answer #6 · answered by Tikcus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too often abusive people turn homicidal when the person they are abusing attempts to leave.But you know better than anyone that you do not have a choice.
I'm sure there are abused women groups there that will help you in your plans for leaving, give you a place to stay where he wouldn't be able to find you, offer legal help to obtain a restraining order and gain full custody of your child.
You will have to be determined not to allow him to contact you directly in any way. While away, look for work in another city and take the leap.
Best of luck.
2007-01-03 10:44:03 · answer #7 · answered by arin1330 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
get yourself and your son into a battered womens shelter . your life will not get any better untill you do something to make it better I am so totally serious . Leave that loser and the shelter will help you get a divorce and get your life back on track and hopefully years down the road you will meet someone that will treat you the way you should be treated like a human being. good luck to you . god bless you.
2007-01-03 11:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm totally confused on as to why you are even still there!! IF you can get or have a decent job, why do you need him?
Why would you want to subject your son to seeing a woman cut down? Do you want him to grow up thinking it's ok to do this to women?
If you want to runaway.........DO IT!! And do it TODAY!!
2007-01-03 10:39:02 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you complaining to the world? All these things you mention are of your own decisions. You're drowning in your own pity.
2007-01-03 10:46:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋