Is this marriage worth saving?

Question

My husband and I have been married for six years. Up until Feb 2007, we were a normal family. In Feb, he re-discovered crack cocaine and started running through money like crazy. We have two children, a dog and our new home was about to be started. Mothers day, my car was stolen, he left for the crack house. Memorial Day, he decided that he was not coming home until he ran through 3 grand. I lost it and threw him out. He took his new Jeep and I had nothing to drive. For a month, he was a better father and a better person. Then he found a whore (a paid one he found in some sewer) and quit coming around, quit giving me money, quit going to work and bought her a new car while I still had nothing to drive (I took care of that car business real quickly). At this point, he had run through almost $40,000, cash. His jeep was stolen three times, his whore stole it once.
Basically, he came back after he ruined us, and I am the only one who is trying to save everything.

Siri

Answer 1

You need to take your children and your dog and leave this person

Better yet....put him out.

You're first priority is to provide a safe and loving environment for your children....you need to get started...they've been through enough.

Answer 2

Why you are even questioning whether the marriage is worth saving is beyond me!!! Got out and don't look back. He's obviously comfortable in the gutter life; do you want him to drag you and the kids there too? Because that's where you're headed. He has no regard for anyone, including himself. And cocaine seems to be a very distorting drug. I was married to someone who got into it after 6 wonderful years and the next 4 years were pure hell until I got out. I wish I would have left much sooner but I kept hoping he would come around to the great person I fell in love with. Ironically, these people don't even recognize that they have a problem, or how their behavior is affecting others. Is this what you want your kids to think is 'normal'? I say grab everything that's left and move without leaving a forwarding address! You and your kids deserve a fresh start before he damages your lives further. Do it now, before he give you AIDS...

Answer 3

I'm sure you have a lot on your mind but it's only Jan 2007 so Feb 2007 hasn't gotten here yet. Mother's day your car wasn't stolen he took it for his drugs or had someone take it. Second if he was out there doing drugs why would you leave it so easy for him to have access to your families money? You could've opened an account and removed the money and put it in your account. So you were helping pay this female believe it or not. He was using your family money to pay her. If he's not working and what money he gets his hands on he's using to support this other female and his habit what money did he have to give you? What money did he have to buy her a car? He used your family money once again. My question is as a mother who seems to be drug free why would you want this person around your home, your children regardless if he is their father. You need to get rid of him. You need to explain to him that you can't keep dealing with his drug habits and either he gets himself together and continues to go to support groups to stay clean or he can't come back. What are you teaching your children that it's ok to do drugs and accept drugs in your life because it's daddy? He's a very bad influence on your children and an embarrassment to you and your family. Put him out and force him to either make a change or leave you and your children alone.

You can do bad by yourself.....

Answer 4

Has he cleaned up? Do you trust him? Do you want to subject yourself and your two children to any more pain? Ask yourself is he really worth it? Why do you want to save everything? Sounds to me like you are trying to hold on to it all but doing ti talone will not work. He has to be willing to make it work also. A marriage is about TWO people communicating and working TOGETHER. If he isn't willing to put forth the effort then you are wasting your time. However, if he wants to make a brand new start and clean up and become the husband and father he should be and the one you want him to be then maybe you can make a better life together but you can't do it alone. He was the one who took off and left. He made the mistake and you can't fix it for him.

Answer 5

You have your children to think of. There is no way you should let them think this kind of behavior is okay or forgivable and that's exactly what you'll be doing if you let him back in your life.

I'm sure he's saying he's sorry and all that, sure he's sorry, he's sorry he has no more money to burn and that he has no nice place to stay. He's proved with his actions that he's not worth being around. He took your car and didn't give a damn if you had transportation for you and your children-who you were then supporting all by yourself. That shows you just how much he really cares about you-never forget it.

Answer 6

I don;t know whether you are a religious person or not, so I'll avoid going that route and become purely practical.

First, I assume that you meant Feb 2006. If that's so, then you have been going thru this paid and suffering for a year now. I'm no angel but really if I love sum1 I would not let her go thru this. It's clear that this man does not love you. It's worse that children are involved. Your best bet is

Secondly, kick him out of your and children's life NOOOOW!

Answer 7

Every marriage is WORTH saving....the question is whether or not it can be saved. This one sounds like it is destined to remain in a shambles. If you feel there is no hope for it, your first responsibility is to the safety and welfare of your children, then to you. If he is making progress toward getting better, you need to give it that chance, but if he is only there because he is out of money, it might be time to cut your loses and move on.

Answer 8

Marriage is artwork and struggling with is an illustration of a healthful marriage. After some years tough spots start to emerge and it truly is a stable element. You men could initiate engaged on smoothing those spots. in case you merely started struggling with, then artwork on those subject concerns and notice in some weeks in case you may easily attain an settlement. intercourse and money (procuring = spending) are the 1st issues that arise. Later you will hit something else. the secret's is to artwork issues out relatively than sweeping them decrease than the rug. in case you do not, the subject concerns will collect and one human beings (or the two certainly one of you) will initiate punishing one yet another for not getting your way - that's the line to nowhere. it truly is almost a snowball. struggling with isn't a situation in itself if executed in a healthful way. not resolving undertaking for an prolonged time is yet another tale. tough spots will continuously be there - you will could artwork them out no remember who you're married to, even the main form and lightweight souls have them.

Answer 9

I wouldn't take him back till I know for sure he was off the drugs,what ever you build up he will tear back down again. That white sh*t is hard to kick, I've seen it ruin people's lives, get there children takin away. Think of your children before anything else,I know he is there father but, he will do more harm than good if he is still doing drugs. Think about it, but think about it while he's out of the house. Think of your children. Good luck with what ever you choose.

Answer 10

Oh honey i hate you are in this situation. Addiction is a hard business. You may very well be better off just cutting him loose. But if you want to save it he must get into rehab and stay there until he is clean and then go to recovery meetings. you have to set the rules and he has to follow them. That is the only way it is going to work and you are not going to wind up in a worse situation.

Answer 11

You shouldn't be the "only" one trying to save your marriage, that should be a commitment made by the both of you to work things out. In my opinion I wouldn't "save" anything. It sounds like you've been through alot, the only thing you should worry about is yourself and your kids. He needs to take care of his drug abuse before he can begin to fix his family.