We were running together and she says that If I know or see her husband cheating, don't tell her. She also told him not to confess and don't make it obvious, just say that he is playing tennis or going drinking with the guys. Do any of you feel this was as well? I will respect her wishes but just curious as to the logic. Thanks.
2007-01-03 02:07:20 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is thinking that what she don't know, won't hurt her. I know some others that think the same way. That thinking completely blows my mind. I can't imagine not wanting to know if my spouse was having an affair. It would make me feel like a fool, for everybody to know but me. If it works for her, then honor her wishes!
2007-01-03 02:11:48 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
My best friend was the same way. She knew that her husband was a cheater, or at least strongly suspected it, but she didn't want to know about it. She was happy with her life. She loved him (too much), and was willing to share him if that is what it took to keep him around. He was very wealthy, they had a beautiful home, and four children. If she actually had proof that he was cheating, I think she felt as though she would be forced to do something, or risk being looked at like an idiot. Therefore, she would rather not know.
Unfortunetely, he ended up leaving her anyway. He was having an affair with his brothers wife, and she (the mistress) got pregnant. I know, Jerry Springer, right? Talk about drama!!
So, my point is, although ignorance is bliss, not knowing isn't necessarily going to protect her from bad things happening with her marriage.
2007-01-03 02:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe She Is Happy With The Status Quo Or Just Enjoys Swimming In De-Nial. Either Way If She Says Don't Tell Her, Then Don't Tell Her. Not Even About This Question. Be Happy Darl. Have A Gooday And A Beaut 2007!
2007-01-03 02:17:34 · answer #3 · answered by Paul R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi Betty:
I gave this one some thought. I came to the conclusion that if my wife had an affair I wouldn't want to be told about it. Sure, if my wife made a habit of cheating I would find out any way. If it was a fling I would just as soon not know.
I will explain my position. I love my wife. i love her more then I thought I could ever love anyone. If she felt "jilted" by life or resentful that she would never have the excitement of a fling, I would rather her "step out" and be happy with our life then be faithful and be miserable. I would never know and it would help us grow old together.
Again, this does not include long term affairs or cheating. That would be a sign that something is deeply wrong and maybe we shouldn't be married. But a fling? It may have already happened, but I'm not asking.
2007-01-03 02:14:59 · answer #4 · answered by Thomas 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You did no longer do something to harm him. This different guy pinned YOU against the wall, no longer any incorrect way around, and it did no longer bypass everywhere. What could have occurred if ... you could not truly say with the aid of fact it did no longer, and it somewhat is completely commonly used and suitable that the style you experience months later could be distinctive than on the time it occurred. It appears like your relationship has grown up somewhat, and you're no longer a similar individual. i could drop it, and if he brings it up back, i could tell him the style you experience approximately him and that he desires to locate a thank you to handle this. Asking you back and back ought to no longer resolve his issue. i'm sorry you're dealing with this. :( good success.
2016-11-26 00:36:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me? I'd rather know out right...nothing behind my back. Just tell me so that way we can get it done and over with...like ripping a bandaid off. I understand why some women would want to pretend like nothing is going on: if they don't hear about it/know about it then they don't have to confront the problem or even acknowledge there is an issue and they can go continuing to believe they are in a happy marriage with their spouse...too much reality they'd rather stay in a dream world, ya know? And I understand that but I don't think I could ever live like that personally. I mean yeah I agree, reality sucks but there are just somethings you will eventually have to deal with.
2007-01-03 02:14:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some women are self confident enough that they do not let jealousy destroy their relationship.
Some do not enjoy physical intimacy that much and prefer if the husband satisfies that need elsewhere.
Some recognize that their mate has difficulty with maintaining a strictly monogomous relationship but love them just the same.
Some couples have unspoken arrangements and as long as he maintains discretion and doesn't bring shame or disease upon the family it is a valid social contract and should be nobody else's
business but their own.
2007-01-03 02:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by aiguyaiguy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Because she doesn't want to hurt. I understand the logic of it, but I personally would rather hurt for a little while and leave him for cheating rather than live with the uncertainty and the larger possible fallout later. But again, I do understand where she's coming from. It's her choice, if you are her friend you'll respect her wishes.
2007-01-03 02:14:02 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
She thinks what she doesn't know won't hurt her. But let your friend know that an STD can!! Maybe she's afraid she can't make it without him. She can and she eventually will if he is cheating. She won't be able to deal with the pain by looking at his cheating face everyday. She'll end up hating him.
2007-01-03 02:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
easy. I know another lady like that (her husband is now divorcing her after 28 yrs of marriage to be with his mistress), and those people rather live in a delusional fantasy and maintain the image of a happy family and a good married couple rather than face the truth. Her husband is probably getting some action on the side and she might suspect something, but since it would shatter her precious make - believe world she rather take the "let me bury my head in the sand and see nothing" approach, mind you. in this position, you will be most likely to get f*ucked up the butt.
I hope she is packing a lot of lubricant. Now, as for you, you do as she asked, because, frankly, no one needs to get in the middle of this nonsense. Let her live her make believe life till she gets served with divorce papers and her husband goes to live with a real young hot barbie. wouldn't that be hilarious?
2007-01-03 02:20:07 · answer #10 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋