Cheating and LOVE?????

Question

Why does it feel as though you love someone "more" when there is fighting, drama and cheating going on constantly within your relationship?

I was in a previous relationships and feel as though I was more so in love with him than I am with my caring, trustworthy and even hotter bf now??? I wouldnt want to leave this one...actually I want to spend my life with him but why is it that you feel more love when you are in an abusive relationship? (not physical abuse)

Answer 1

Wow, this is a great question. You are used to the drama, I am gonna give you alot of information, please read it and you will understand alot about yourself.There are scores of people in the world who seem to be magnets for calamity. They live their lives jumping from one difficult situation to the next, surrounded by unstable individuals. Some believe themselves victims of fate and decry a universe they regard as malevolent. Others view their chaotic circumstances as just punishments for some failing within. Yet, in truth, neither group has been fated or consigned to suffer. They are likely unconsciously drawing drama into their lives, attracting catastrophe through their choices, attitudes, and patterns of thought. Drama, however disastrous, can be exciting and stimulating. But the thrill of pandemonium eventually begins to frustrate the soul and drain the energy of all who embrace it. To halt this process, we must understand the root of our drama addiction, be aware of our reactions, and be willing to accept that a serene, joyful life need not be a boring one. Many people, so used to living in the dramatic world they create, feel uncomfortable when confronted with the prospect of a lifetime of peace and contentment. The drama in their lives serves multiple purposes. Upset causes excitement, prompting the body to manufacture adrenaline, which produces a pleasurable surge of energy. For those seeking affection in the form of sympathy, drama forms the basis of their identity as a victim. And when drama is familial, many people believe they can avoid abandonment by continuing to play a key role in the established family dynamic. The addiction to drama is fed by the intensity of the feelings evoked during bouts of conflict, periods of uncertainty, and upheaval.
Understanding where the subconscious need for drama stems from is the key to addressing it effectively. Journaling can help you transfer this need from your mind onto a benign piece of paper. After repeated writing sessions, your feelings regarding the mayhem, hurt feelings, and confusion often associated with drama become clear. When you confront your emotional response to drama and the purpose it serves in your life, you can reject it. Each time you consciously choose not to take part in dramatic situations or associate with dramatic people, you create space in your inner being that is filled with a calm and tranquil stillness and becomes an asset in your quest to lead a more centered life. Hope this helps, Bob [e-mail]

Answer 2

i think in a relationship w/ any for of abuse the one who gets abuse mentally or physically they tend to just let there heart take over. i was abused physically for 5 months and walkin away from him was the hardest thing that i have ever done. i loved him and still do. i think in a relationship like that ( an adusive one ) one thinks that the abusier has it rough, and hard life. and the abused thinks that the fighting and what not is that person way of screamin i need u, i want u, i love u. when in all actualuity there just the way they r they dont care.

Answer 3

Stay where you are. I to had this problem and to this day i feel love for my ex and probably always will. I think everyone has that one person in there life that they loved with there whole being. Abuse is the problem. No one deserves to be abused in any form.

Answer 4

I'm not really sure it's "love" in the bad relationships that keep you going............I think it's "compitition" thatone allows to go on.
Once finding out your being cheated on, you fight, argue. The one being cheated on, can't fathom as to why it was them that got cheated on. You want to know who it was with, how many times, and so on. And because of that, once knowing who it was, you begin to try and size yourself up to the one who took over your place for a time.

It's not love, it's low selfesteem.

Answer 5

I think it has to do with us feeling unworthy and fearing happiness. I did it for ten years then I met the most wonderful man....my husband now and he showed me how to love and be loved. Sometimes we get used to things a certain way and we mistake it for something else. What your cheating boyfriend was doing to you was not loving you.

Answer 6

You're alone on this one sweetie. I love my sweet, caring, loving man a whole lot more than the lying, cheating, heartless dawgs I have been with in the past.

Answer 7

Your ridiculous to think you felt more love with the no good relationship.

Answer 8

I guess because there is more spice in the relationship. More drama.

Answer 9

Because u think that by stayin with that person they'll change . . but u cant help that person . . . . . u'lll feel some much luve 4 that person because u really wanna help them n u cant hepl them untill they wanna help them selves

Answer 10

maybe the way you were raised has something to do with it, but your not alone theres alot of people thats like that