IS husband lieing??????????

Question

What would you do if you found that your spouse was lieing about finances..saying they were paying or buying things but those things never were paid or bought????

thanks for the answers. I am the one that handles the bills, unfortunately I have put trust into my husband and now I dont know what to do. The account is in my name, he has no debit card. I give him 400 twice a month and he always seems to be out of money. the hard part is he stays at the base monday thru friday and I am an hour away with 3 little ones of ours and 1 stepson...confused angry and tired. We are in couseling but have yet to hit the money issues.

Answer 1

The very first thing you should do is get your own bank account to which he does not have access and keep as much money in there as you can. Track the bills and make sure they're being paid, especially the important ones like mortgage/rent, utilities, car, etc.

Next, confront him and ask him where the money is actually going. Have proof in hand if you can find it--receipts, or the lack of them, will make it harder for him to deny the truth.

Last, it's true that there may be something illicit going on like a drug/gambling habit or an affair, but there's another possibility. Your husband may have a mental illness like bipolar disorder which can cause overspending/irresponsibility with money, or may just be a compulsive spender for some other reason. I'm not saying this makes it ok, but this would mean that he needs professional help.

The only way to find out what is really going on is to talk to him. If he won't talk or denies that anything is wrong, talk to a counselor yourself to get help on how to deal with this situation. If he won't seek help or work with you, you have to protect yourself from, at the very least, possible financial ruin. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I'd start thinking about where the money is going. Chances
are he's got a mistress. Buying her presents, taking her to hotels, etc.
I'd go see a lawyer (Legal Aid if you don't have money.) and file for a divorce..
Once trust is gone, it's over. Some people say you can get back trust, if you work on it, but you really can't.
Don't waste your time. There are better men out there.

Answer 3

I'd tell him you want to know where all the money has went, then tell him that you want to be in charge of the bill paying and agree not to make any purchases without you being present. Tell him it has to be that way because he's lied to you and you don't trust him now. He needs to earn that trust back.

Answer 4

Trust is the basis of a good relationship and it sounds like you have lost that. My question is that if he lies to you about money- what else is he lying about? Try some professional counselling if you want to save the relationship. Be honest with your communication with your husband and let him know that this behavior is not acceptable. LOL

Answer 5

Since you're married to him, his credit rating could hurt yours.
Check with a financial adviser, maybe get a history report on his credit rating to see what outstanding bills he has. Then find out what you can do to protect yourself.
If he dies, all those mounting bills will come full circle to you. Maybe you should get a life insurance policy on him just to cover those bills.

Answer 6

I've seen this scenario a thousand times. Man and woman get married. Woman bestows all responsibility upon man and becomes a housewife. Man stores money away for himself while building up his credit. Man leaves woman high and dry without a pot to piss in. LADIES PLEASE STOP LETTING YOUR HUSBANDS CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR MONEY AND LIFE. GET MORE INVOLVED IN YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE INSTEAD OF LIVING LIKE YOUR IN A FAIRY TALE. Unlike the animated disney movies, you are not guaranteed to live happily ever after!!! So start using your brain!

Answer 7

You have to talk to him and show him the bills he hasn't paid. If he's lying about finances, you better investigate. What if he hasn't paid for the house? That happened once to a friend and she had to evacuate her house and her husband left her.

Answer 8

doin the dodgy, drugs, gifts for ex's??? if accounts in both names i'd seriously monitor activities for not much longer before seeking some legal advice or confronting the person in question, then seeking legal advice, my initial feeling after reading your question was something is not right :-(
ps of course this person could be buying the things or arranging somethin big for you so be sure first :-)

Answer 9

Better get your own bank account and start squirreling some money there and start preparing for a divorce or him leaving you sometime soon...


sounds really suspicious to me... like a drug habit or he has another woman he is spending money on.

If he says he is paying or buying things and it is not paid, it is quite obvious he is lying... Are not those warning bells going off yet?

Answer 10

something ain't right somewhere then. either he has a gambling problem, drug problem or another woman on the side. girl find out quick before you end up on the street.