why does my sister in law treat me like this?

Question

my sisterin law treats me like trash . she spreads rumers about me like i am lying all the time .i am a b****. which i don't care about that . but she says horriable things in front of my kids, my nephews,. my in laws. i have always been nice to her . she is one of those that acts like her s*** don't stink all the time . i have been in this family 4 years longer than her. i know this for a fact that my brother in law only married her to get himmself a wife figure. about every three months she gets a chip on her shoulder and want talk or starts something with me . i am tired of it i am one that don't let things go so easy when she does this s*** my nerves gets so tore up . i don't know what to do . i have dealt with this 10 years now .she even gets other in laws to not talking to me including mother and father in law. i am at wits end ,,,,,,,,,please help.sick and tired no one can even pick on her if they want to talk to her in the next week or so

Answer 1

Ignore her. Did your parents ever tell you "if you ignore it, they will go away/stop?" It really, actually works. My sister in law is bad, but I don't think she's as bad as yours, and I totally feel for you.
My sister in law will come to my husband or I and ask us to do something, and if we say no (because we can't, don't want to, are unavailable, whatever), she calls their mom and tells her stupid crap that we didn't even say! Then his mom will call him and start yelling at him until he hangs up on her, she'll call back, and they'll get everything straightened out. I hate having to do go through that when she gets a bug up her ***, but what can I do?

I ignore it. I ignore her smartass comments, her ill manners, everything. Now, she's sickeningly sweet to me.

When and if she starts crap in front of your children or your family, do what I do:
1) If you're in your own house, tell her that you don't appreciate her childish attitude, and ask her to leave. If she won't, TELL her she has to go.
2) If you're in her house or some other family member's house and she starts running her mouth, say firmly and clearly so that she and anyone else standing around can hear "I do not appreciate your (insert offense here: childish attitude, lies, ignorance, whatever) and if you can't act like an adult, then I/we are leaving. I/We don't deserve to be treated like trash when I/we have done nothing wrong." (I can't tell you how many times I've had to do this!! And it really works.) If she doesn't shut up, then you leave.
3) If she says something that causes someone to stop speaking to you, go see them and talk to them about it--don't bother confronting her, it won't help. There are a few relatives that I cannot go see, because they live farther than I want to drive, so I don't worry about them. But I have gone to people that my sister in law has talked to and asked them what's going on. They most always start out with, "Well, she told me that you ..." After a while, his family began to see that she was stirring the pot, and they ignored her.

Good luck!!

Answer 2

She is miserable about her life and wants to see someone else suffer along with her. Maybe she doesn't show or say she is miserable but why else would she be so mean to you? And as for it being you, I think that is because you allow it to happen and have been allowing it for way too long. As long as you allow it she will continue to treat you the way she does. Try to get her alone and confront her once and for all but try being nice about it. Try getting her to open up and talk to you about what is really bothering her. Tell her you want to be there for her to help her in anyway that you can. If this works maybe later you can get her to admit to the rest of the family what she has been doing to you all these years. If this doesn't work I'm sorry I don't know what else you can do.

Answer 3

Well I think you should let her know how you feel.Confront her already.Tell her to back off or else.Maybe a good dose of her own medicine might make her think twice.