What can one do about a pathological liar especially a person close to you(My ex. was one)??

Answer 1

Learn to let go. Accept the things that you cannot change, it sounds so simplistic, but in actuality, it is one of the hardest things we have to do.

I think that one has to learn to accept people for who they really are, and get rid of our own expectations for that person. If you know someone to be a liar, do not trust that person, and confide very little to them, if at all. These people may be great fun to pal around with, but keeping them at arms length will benefit you in the long run.

Learning to accept these types of behaviours is very hard and trying, but realizing that that is all they have to give, they can't give to a relationship what you are looking for because it isn't in them to give... it's almost like a short sightedness... they can't want for more if they aren't missing it... lying is a way to close yourself to others, to hide your true self, the one that perhaps you think is flawed and others may judge just as harshly as you do... lying is not only a habit but a lifestyle, and one should always seek therapy in order to get rid of this unhealthy living.
But with that said, you can't force anyone into therapy, and until a liar realizes that the lies they tell, are also fooling themselves, they are less likely to stop.
Trust is a major issue, and however big the lie, only you know what you can trust or not trust the person with. YOu have to judge for yourself and understand that this person isn't what thier lying dictates... they are not a liar through and through, just that the lies have taken over..
you can still love a liar, and maintain a relationship with them, but you have to determine how deep that relationship can or cannot be or become.
Stay alert, and be cautious, don't interrogate them at every turn, but do question them, liars shouldn't be able to get away with thier lies, once you start exposing them, the lies may become less and less, because you make it less easy for them to lie.
( this is just a suggestion, sometimes a lie can be covered up with other lies)
Sometimes it may get to the point that the lies just don't stop and they get bigger and more grandiose, doesn't matter how understanding you are, or what you try to do to understand thier behaviour. Sometimes the best thing you can do to get off the emotional roller coast is to let go... walk away and never look back. Yes sometimes that happens with family, and there comes a point in your life where the liar has sapped every ounce of love forgiveness and understanding... sometimes the healthy thing for you to do is... walk away.

( Speaking from experience)

Answer 2

Unfortunately there isn't a whole that you can do with such a person except pray for them and proceed with extreme caution. I have actually been with my husband at a dinner and listened to him tell several lies in one sentence. SCARRY! I don't often trust much of what he says but what can you do? A person such as them could benefit from a counseling session or two but will more than likely not admit that there is a problem. Liars will slip because as the saying of old goes....if you tell one lie you will have to tell another to cover it up. Eventually they are caught! I recommend checking some books out of your local library that will help you learn how to deal with such a person in the mean time. Researching the problem as really helped me alot. You can even go online and ask for information on such individuals.

Answer 3

I'm a big believer in confronting situations, head on. In a casual situation, I would just recognize that most - if not all - of what this person says is not true...and go from there. Sadly, if they are a person close to you, its not so easy. In this case, I believe you need to confront them about the situation. They may well deny it. I would tell them that my intention was to call them on every suspected 'lie' - then follow up with that and do so. After a time, they may recognize that they can no longer fool you...and may start thinking before they speak. Good luck.

Answer 4

This is a tough one in relationship. Liars lie to avoid feelings of fear and shame. Listen very closely to the emotions the liar expresses and let them know they are heard. Offer comfort and support. Are there drugs involved? Again a way of avoiding painful emotions. Perhaps impulsive behaviors like gambling and sex... What I'm wondering is why you want to establish an intimacy with someone who is avoiding it? Are you repeating a painful relationship from the past- a parent who had emotional or alcohol/ drug problems? Maybe you deserve better treatment and a chance to heal.

Answer 5

It's an individual choice. I can't do anything to stop those in my life except know that they are putting their souls at risk. I'm sure it's also quite the lesson to be learned for those who have reacted to them along with those that have a habit of enabling.

Answer 6

If you stay in a relationship with them....let them know that you don't believe much of anything they tell you...and then don't.

Always ask a 3rd party to confirm whatever they stay.

My opinion is that's an awful way to live and really not worth it.

Answer 7

They probably do it out of a need for acceptance. If you really like them, show them that you like them even when they do normal things. Then when they make exaggerated claims, question them in a non threatening way. Then finally, show yourself as a normal person who makes mistakes and doesn't need extreme thrills to show off.

Answer 8

i had the same problem
i tried to figure out the best solution and my decision was to break up with the person i loved (my ex)
it was hard but i couldn't trust her and it got annoying because she lied all the time

Answer 9

Tell him every time he starts to tell his stories.

Some people just have to be hit with it every time they do it to begin to learn.

Answer 10

Don't believe a thing they say.