I had heard rumours that he had cheated but never bought myself to believe it! Now i know that he has even though he is still denying it, Im devastated, what do i do??
2007-01-03 00:08:17 · 49 answers · asked by Jenna♥♥♥ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Chop his knob off.
2007-01-03 00:23:28 · answer #1 · answered by David B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He's cheated in the last 3 months since you've been married or before?
If he's done this since you have been married then you need evidence, you can't walk away from him unless you know 1 million % that he has done it.
You can't belive anyone, his friends, your friends, etc because this is too important to go on what your being told, you need evidence that it has happened and then make your decision.
You might want to hire a private investigator for a few days or look at surveilance equipment such as a audio recorder for the phone, they're surprisingly cheap.
How can you throw away your marriage on something that maybe wrong?
What you have that evidence, that only you can make the decision but if it's only taken him such a short time to stray then you can be sure it'll happen again pretty soon.
If you find no evidence, the big question then is, will you ever trust him again anyway?
2007-01-03 01:11:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jenna, do you have proof? If you do, and as you have only been married for 3 months, you might consider thinking about getting a divorce as soon as you are legally able to (I believe you have to be married a year before you can file for divorce). I imagine you are a young woman, and i wouldnt want you to waste your life in this way - once a cheater, always a cheater!
If you DO decide to give him a second chance, make it clear that it is only ONE chance. If he does it again, you really will have to leave him or he will continue to do it all through your lives together.
If you decide on the second chance, don't allow yourself to get pregnant. You don't want to be tied to a serial cheat.
Take the advice of an older woman who knows what she is talking about! My first husband cheated...... we tried to make a go of it and had a child...... he still cheated...... we split up...... he remarried........ still cheated, new wife found out....... they had a child........ he carried on cheating. He is now over 50 and STILL CHEATING!
Good luck Jenna. If you've made a mistake then that's sad, but don't make it worse by forgiving a cheater and having all that pain and misery over and over again. It will destroy you. You are worth more than that.
Faith x
2007-01-03 04:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by Caroline 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months into a marriage and he's cheating....my advice is...leave him, or throw him out...if he's sleeping with alot of women then i also suggest that you get a check up...who knows what he may have lurking in his underpants...don't stay with him, as much as you love him, he's still going to hurt you, even though he my say different, the trust is broken now so it's down to you to make life changing decision...i hope there's no kids involved, it's not a good environment for a child to be raised in...just go and don't look back...he will always cheat...and you can do better...he's unfaithful...deceitful and a liar....who wants to be married to a person like that...make your life happier and dump the cheater....find someone you can trust....if this guy had an ounce of respect, then he'd stay faithful to you, but he's not gonna change, he's not ready for marriage, he wants to play away and get the best of both worlds...dump him...may i add that if this is just rumours you have heard...do some detective work and find out for real before making any harsh moves....find out he facts first, someone may be just stirring things up for you...once you see it for yourself, then take action, don't go by what others have told you....see it with your own eyes first...then you'll know
2007-01-03 01:58:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of this marriage before you get pregnant and have someone else to consider and someone who will always tie you to this selfish bastard.
You will never be able to trust him.
Start by seeing a Solicitor, I don't think you can apply for a divorce until you have been married for at least one year, but you can apply for a legal seperation,which will at least get the ball rolling.
He will try and talk you out of it because he obviously wants his cake and eat it.
Please don't be drawn in by his promises because leopards don't change their spots.
I divorced and re-married my ex-husband on the promise that he had learnt his lesson, he too was a serial adulterer, five months into the second marriage I was in the Solicitors office asking for a divorce. It took me another four years of my life (which were unbearable) because we had to live in the same house whilst the divorce went through.
Take my advice and get out now before you have any more complications to deal with.
Good luck and be strong.
This man does not love you, you don't hurt people who you truely love like this.
He took a vow to be faithful to you and has broken it on several ocassions, you can do better and even if you end up on your own for a while, you won't have that terrible gut feeling knowing that your husband is having sex with someone else.
2007-01-06 20:23:41 · answer #5 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if youve only been married for three months and he's already cheated a lot, then imagine how much he'll have time for if you're together any longer. if you stay with him, you'll be wasting your life. as much as it hurts, you are very lucky to have found out so early in the marriage, because you can get a divorce and put an end to all this. i hope you find someone new and caring and flaunt your happiness in your ex-husbands presence. good luck!!!!
2007-01-03 00:19:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's been unfaithful during the time you've been married then you absolutely have to separate from him. It will hurt badly but will hurt even worse if you stay with him and his cheating ways.
But If the cheating is well in the past, long before your marriage, then talk it over with him, say that you want his word that it will never happen now that he's with you, and put it out of your mind.
2007-01-03 02:57:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u heard about it but u chose to deny it, and act as if it wasn't really there, we often fail to see the truth, as we are so much in love with that person we think if we marry them that it will stop. if there is to be any type of reconciliation or forgiveness, he has to admit that he did it, in denying this he is saying it never happened in the first place. he lies so he won't have to be confronted, and so he won't have to do anything about it, meaning he has to intention of changing, and u are in for a hard painful time with this man. sometimes its best to cut your losses, and move on, rather than go through years of wondering when he will do it again, personally i would rather suffer once, and give up the person i love than risk the chance of being hurt over and over again. some things can't be changed, especially if he refuses to own it, and repent, he wants to sweep it under the rug, as if it never occur ed at all.
2007-01-03 00:59:46 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quietly make copies of all the bank records and morgage papers. Quietly contact an attorney to prepare for your divorce. Get your plan together and make sure it is solid and that you are ready to go forward. Now make an appointment with a therapist. Go see her yourself. After a few sessions get your husband to go with you. The therapist will help you work out the details. If he doesn't go, or if he goes but you still have doubt and have lost all of your trust, than go with plan b that is already in place. Always have options.
2007-01-03 00:26:10 · answer #9 · answered by NoAnswers 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's only been a short time, but your marriage may be over. Unless you can forgive and forget this happened. But the bad thing about it is, it's happened more than once already. You may never be able to feel trust with him again. Trust is a big part of love and marriage. Also he is disrespecting you. He apparently didn't take his wedding vows too seriously. Those just aren't words, they really do mean something. Personally, I would get out and be happy that I didn't waste anymore of my life staying with a jerk who doesn't love and respect me.
2007-01-03 00:18:14 · answer #10 · answered by leigh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too went through your situation. Believe us that tell you, he'll do it again. To the guy that said all men are cheaters , give me a break, even you know better. After 5 weeks my husband (got serviced ) and even after I produced evidence he denied it. Only after a year he came clean. I took him back out of pity to only have him cheat again, not once but numerous times. It's not our fault, it's their low self esteem that can't be satisfied. Get out while your STD free and the mistrust doesn't grow into a cancer that eats you alive. Love turns to hate quickly.
2007-01-03 00:34:43 · answer #11 · answered by amrosemary43 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋