To make a long and stupid story short, I met a guy on Craigslist who said all the right things. We had plans to meet a few times (once I bought a train ticket to visit him; another time I prepared an expensive meal), but he always canceled at the last minute. He had an excuse—an anxiety problem. After a few months, I called him on it. He admitted that he enjoyed the thrill of toying with people and was only interested in the chase. Fast-forward a few months: I find out that he has been doing this to several people, and he is not gay. There's no financial or sexual gain for him, because he never meets or screws any of the people he manipulates. He calls it "Internet terrorism." It's about power. Part of me wants revenge, but another part of me just wants to wash my hands of the whole situation. Also, I am worried that the embarrassing photos I sent him will end up on some website somewhere.
2007-01-02 23:34:27 · 15 answers · asked by Lurker 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
The only way to protect yourself from liars and flakes or scam artists trolling websites like Craigslist, is to insist on meeting in person, right away, and to brook no excuses—particularly idiotic ones like "anxiety."
Anyone who talks a good game in a chat room or via e-mail but can't, for whatever reason, meet in person is either married or not who or where or what he/she claims to be.
The number of straight men alone pretending to be teenage lesbians or young gay men online, exceeds the actual number of gay and lesbians by a factor of 100.
2007-01-02 23:45:45 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First off...I'm in the camp of forget him and move on...give him no attention...it's what he craves.
As for the pictures...this might come off sounding kind of mean...but know that it isn't meant to be...forget 'em too. He's obviously doing the same crap to a lot of ppl...he got you and he's already moved on...there is nothing in it for him to actually do ANYTHING with the pictures (for him to do anything with the pics would show some type of "connection" or "feeling" for what was between you...something he never had, he couldn't have cared less about you, you were simply another online target...bets he might not even remember which pictures are yours, mixed in with the pics of all of the other people that he's done this to.) Does he have the email addys of your friends and family, likely not.
In short, the pictures mean a whole lot more to you than to him (obviously). You're stressed because it's very personal & private and means something to you. If he's the "internet terrorist type" he may have never actually kept the pictures, but use the possibility that he has kept them, and what he will do with them to further terrorize, AND to keep you from "outing him" for what he truly is.
Hun, wash your hands of him, walk away, don't look back, block sender on his e-mail address...when he sees that there is no reaction he'll move on to the next target. (which he may have actually already done by now)
Revenge is only going to keep this in your mind ... and keep you in his mind...both of these are not good.
2007-01-03 09:35:00 · answer #2 · answered by gords_babygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Happens a lot to greater or lesser extents. Get over your embarrassment, and don't worry about that. If someone sees your ******* or ******* (I put the ***** in, not yahoo), so what? Live and learn.
Suggestion for the future: never go ANYWHERE to see ANYONE without your Plan B. Your, "If this doesn't work well, what am I going to do instead". Have a hotel lined up, and a list of things you can see, bars to frequent, and it isn't a real bad idea to have a couple of EXTRA people lined up on the Internet that you can call if your plans fall through and you have some extra time in their city.
I travel all over the world (500,000 in the past ten years for holidays) and have never had this system fail me! Good luck next time.
2007-01-03 07:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wash your hands of him. What goes around comes around and he'll get his. ( I'm a great believer in Karma.) In any case, what can you do other than just chalk it up to experience and move on. If he starts doing anything with the photos you may be able to file a lawsuit against him..unless he's really stupid (doesn't sound like it to me) then he knows this...Save your revenge until or if you really need it. But get away from him now..break his power over you. And he still has power--he has the pictures. I think, however, if you just ignore him and he realizes that he is powerless any threat of doing anything with the pictures will vanish..again--because that is all the power he has.
2007-01-03 08:34:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Really weird. I mean, that behavior doesn't sound too normal, I'd feel very bad if I were you. But revenge? How? Sounds like he has a psychological problem or something. The photos? You took the risk and now there's no option but to act up to the situation. I hope you can just forget this guy and nothing ever makes you remember him. Good luck.
2007-01-03 07:49:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This may sound old but revenge against the person who offended you makes you as bad as the person. Revenge isn't the answer,just let things happen the way it should be,he will be treated the same way some day when he falls in love too. Since he has your photos,all the more you should not do anything to him for your own safety!
2007-01-03 07:44:17 · answer #6 · answered by FloralLover 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Roman:
If you have emails where he admits to toying with people and admits to his Internet terrorism, I would contact whatever provider you are using and complain to them about this subscriber. I would also contact the local authorities in the area he lives in and see if they can go after him for impersonating another person or see if they can help you in finding out who this individual is in case you need to sue him in civil court to try to get him to stop distributing his pictures - if it goes that far...
2007-01-03 09:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so he enjoyed the thrill of toying with people and was only interested in the chase? he wastes time winding people up via the net, people he has never met? he probably has no real-life friends, no prospects no job and no self esteem! just feel sorry for him!
sometimes you just have to live and learn: and never, ever send pictures of yourself that you might later regret!!!
2007-01-03 08:29:03 · answer #8 · answered by Siamese Triplets 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This fellow is obviously a sicko! I'd opt for some sort of revenge.
Put his e-mail address in a Yahoo Question. Something like, "Would any one like to e-mail a scam artist?" That will give him plenty of harassing e-mails and eventually he'll have to change his address. That would give me some sense of satisfaction.
2007-01-03 07:48:49 · answer #9 · answered by Johann 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. I would normally say ' revenge is best served cold'... but you mentioned he has photos of you.
Internet terrorism? I call it being a *insert abusive comment here of your choice*
Your call mr, revenge is sweet but if you're worried don't worry about it. What goes around, comes around.
2007-01-03 07:40:20 · answer #10 · answered by revoltix 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋