Selfish love or Selfless love....which is better ???

Answer 1

Well the first one isn't love it's selfishness & the second is martyrdom. The perfect love would be one that allowed you to love yourself & someone else. Love is supposed to be good for you.

Answer 2

It has to be a balance of give and take, so I guess in a way it is a bit selfish to expect something in return. Expecting love in return for giving love is more along the lines of romantic love. Real selfless love is more common in the love you would feel for a child or other family member or even a pet. You love them no matter what. In the case of a spouse or significant other, if they don't love you anymore, it might hurt but then you have to get over it and move on. Being selfless in love can mean sticking by someone's side even in the really hard times, only because you WANT to, not because you feel like you have to. But still, you first need to know that it's worth it because they love you back. It's a balance.

Answer 3

I think it would mostly depend on:

a) how you define love, and
b) better...for WHOM?

I think love is unconditional acceptance of the other person - that's why we can speak of love between parents and children, brothers and sisters, friends, and lovers and soulmates.

If that definition of love is accepted, then the question of selfishness or selflessness is quite an intriguing one. Either you accept them because doing so brings you pleasure (a degree of selfishness) or you accept them because it brings them pleasure (a degree of selflessness). I would argue however, that accepting someone unconditionally makes the question of selfishness/ selflessness an almost insignificant one as the show of acceptance can be completely independent of the need to either take or give pleasure. In that situation, people just are, people just accept them for who they are (not tolerate, mind, that's a different thing entirely because you're waiting for a change in the situation for the better), and the selfishness/ selflessness issue goes out the window.

People just are, and people who really truly love them accept them as they are with all their quirks, imperfections, annoying habits, disgusting habits and potentially embarassing points. They might prefer the not-so-good didn't exist, but deep down they wholeheartedly embrace and accept the person.

As for the question about WHOM, well you'd have to ask both parties, but I think it would be mutually beneficial.

Answer 4

cruelly speaking selfish love for u'll get everything u ever wanted may it be time and attention from him /her or physical commitment which in other case u wont but some where or teh other u loose a tinj of something where in u feeel incomplete though u are happy in ur relatonship but fail to make other happy by ur deeds so selfless love is at the rescue where in u do the other person way but happily it should not be considered as a compromise or adjustment or sacrifice its should be pure unonditional love,, this selfless love if showered upon ur family and friends it wil work wondersss,, since tehy deserve it more !!!!!
take care

Answer 5

Both words first relate to 'self'.If one knows own Soul Self then only one can be selfish in love.
One who knows (realises) the own ' Soul Self' loves the own 'self' is a selfish love. and without loving the 'self' selfless love can never be produced.
Love is always selfless,without any kind of expectations and metaphysical otherwise it is called as lust.

So one who is 'true selfish' becomes automatically selfless in love.

Answer 6

I believe selfless love is just a concept and not a reality. What really happens when one falls in love is that the self gets redefined to include the loved one.... in other words, in love we extend the boundaries of our self so as to include within it the loved one also. This redefined self is being served when we think that sacrifice is being made for the loved one.

However there is this mean love which is selfish exclusive of the interests of the loved one... this is no love, it is just another desire to possess like we want to obtain and have material things.

Answer 7

Selfless Love is always better because you can never take anything and anyone for granted. Selfless Love is the most beautiful love in the world. That is exactly how I feel about my sweet, adorable TOBEY MAGUIRE; a pure, wholesome, selfless love that will never die. That is exactly why I love TOBEY MAGUIRE very much. However, I doubt that he will ever love me back, due to the amount of trouble I have caused him, his friends, and his family.

Answer 8

Selfish love is dangerous. Selfless love is ignorant. Be a mix of both. You don't want to completely disregard your own needs, yet you don't want to ignore the needs of your partner. Compromise and communicate. That's what works for me.

Answer 9

The things, which you have, should be given to one and all, without expecting anything in return. I think happiness is the core thing of life and that can be achieved only by spreading the love, which is in selflessness.

Answer 10

Selfless love! as self in totallity sinks in love and therefore,if true love exists, there is no room for selfishness in LOVE.True love also doesn't need an nature's creation needs "THE CREATURE OF NATURE".

Answer 11

yeah depends like if u love someboby and be possesive and want the person to move according to u then its selfish love and its not good,but if u love somebody and move according to him and that person takes u for granted than selfless love is also not good so love is good only in that case when u love somebody but keeps ur mind and eyes open and lastly being in love is good than leading ur life without love.