So I have been with my bf for just under 2 years, and the other day I found out that my bf has slept with a prostitute before our time. It's not the fact he did what he did, it's the fact that apparently we don't have secrets and I have asked him before whether he had done anything like this, yet in a row he pipes up and tells me that he has. Then refuses to tell me any detail and says I am judging him. Yet I have been completely honest with him regarding my past skeletons and all. I feel quite ill knowing that my guy could go and pick up a woman off the street and shag her without any alteria motive but to get laid. Can people please give me some input as I really am struggling to deal with this one. He has a place abroad that he goes to with his mates each year. I know he goes to strip clubs, but the funniest thing is that he has always made out they are **** places, full of prostitues, what am I supposed to think now? yet he has been with one!!!
2007-01-02 22:01:21 · 9 answers · asked by Girl of Spirit 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Once upon a time I was afraid of him meeting someone (we live 200 miles apart) and getting close to them, now there is a completely different spin on things, what happens when he gets a little frustrated one night and feels the urge to pick up a prostitute.
2007-01-02 22:02:37 · update #1
The upsetting thing is that he used my past agasinst me, my past is not rosey, but I was honest enough to tell him up front detail and all, yet he used this to hurt me, and get back at me almost. Trouble is I just can't believe my guy who is gorgeous felt the need to pay to stick his prick in some slapper!!
2007-01-02 22:04:21 · update #2
In responsee to soem of the answers so far.... I am a very very open minded female, who actively plays a wild part in my bf life, encouraging excitement, and play within our sex life. The issue here is not that I am a bunny boiler, or insecure, its about being straight with someone. Does it not make you worry that you can outrightly ask someone something to their face and they blatantly lie. Thats the issues. My thermal runnway brain worrying about whether he will do what he does behind my back is hearsay. Its about being straight. And accepting past. Jason thank you fro your words. They makes sense.
2007-01-02 22:13:00 · update #3
I think that after 2 years of dating as girl friend and boy friend, if he hasn't made the commitment yet, he's just waiting until something better comes along anyway.
2007-01-02 22:03:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm rather confused...but here's what I think; if he's hiding things from you, especially if you asked him before and he lied to you, then you have some serious issues. have a talk with him. maybe he hid it from you because he was afraid you'd react badly. or maybe he hid it from you because he's still doing it at the clubs he goes to with his friends. you need to talk to him and maybe to his friends too. and ask him not to go to the strip clubs and if he really loves you, he will do that for you. and if you can't trust him any more after that lie he told, maybe it's time to move on and find someone who won't lie about his past.
but now that i've read your additional details...if you're that worried about him with other women and if he's mean enough to use your past against you, then this is not a healthy relationship. you don't trust him (and with good reason), and in a good relationship, when you admit something from your past, he should respect that and be thankful that you're honest. NOT use it to hurt you. i suggest you find a new guy hun. sorry.
2007-01-02 22:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by Eowyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was before he met you then you should just chalk it up as a youthful indiscretion from before you had any influence over him. As far as the admission goes, everyone chooses to release the secrets of their past at a different time. He shouldn't have to tell all at precisely the same time that you did... If you are really meant to be together you will both open up eventually and the rest will happen on it's own.
2007-01-02 22:06:49 · answer #3 · answered by Jason 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
lady, you sound like one of those women afraid to leave a relationship for the security that you think it offers, of course i am not you, and i do not presume to be,but i would think you would have the sense to give your boyfriend the boot and not even the kiss off, maybe a good shove, lady, you have some real weird aspects to this relationship, about what if he gets mad one night, give me and you and everyone a break, and let go, you are only asking for trouble, unless that is what you want, here what i think about women could come into play, as many women encourage protitutes and pornography to actually keep their husbands away from them
2007-01-02 22:07:49 · answer #4 · answered by chinpingmei 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have trust issues and he has things to throw back at you. It will never stop. Get out and start a brand new relationshop where you can start fresh again. This one is doomed. He can always do what he wants because he has somthing to point at you for to make him feel ok for what he has done or does.
2007-01-02 22:19:19 · answer #5 · answered by El Tigre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um.........MOVE ON!
Let him have those slappers......you would be very disappointed if you found out that you have clap or some sort of aweful genital disease huh?
GET OUTTA THERE FAST!
Find someone that will spend 2 years + with you and appreciate YOU for who YOU are!
okay....those long distance relationships aren't good at MOST times....okay..?
okay!
2007-01-02 22:16:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him, he's an a$$hole, find a decent bloke, we're not all like that you know!
2007-01-02 22:04:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont push yourself on him anymore. time to move on and meet some more friends. be happy
2007-01-02 22:07:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Human nature.... applicable for girls also.
2007-01-02 22:02:58 · answer #9 · answered by saumitra s 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋