okay when i was born my father was in prison and he always lied 2 me and told me that he tought me how 2 swim and ride a bike and when i was about 8 i relised that he was a lier cuz i member goin 2 his prison. im not sure what he was in there 4 because hes done so many bad things. he beat the crap outta my mother. (u culdnt even tell wut she looked like) he sold drugs , was on drugs and killed some1 over drugs. he also melested me. his own daughter. i dont kno wut i shuld do cuz i havnt talkd 2 him 4 about 2 years now and i think of him alot. i cry alot cuz my mother is goin out with a man that thinks his my father and he tells me how my real dad dont love me and it makes me really sad. i tell my mom but she dont belive me. my whole family was abused my their fathers and now i have. i dont kno wut 2 do cuz he keeps sending me e-mails about how im bad 4 now talkn 2 him. i miss the good times we had tho. what shuld i do?!?!? please help me.
2007-01-02 20:59:03 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Well, nobody can tell you what to do, that is a decision that you need to make, although it will be so hard.
However, before even thinking about the possibility of seeing him if that's what you want to do, you need to find a way of making him prove to you that he has changed. You can't put yourself in that danger, coz lets face it your father is, or was, sorry, a dangerous man.
And you can't have him messing with your head like he is too. It's not fair and he should know that. He is trying to bribe you emotionally into speaking to him, which doesn't make him a very nice person in my opinion. But that's just my opinion. If you haven't spoken to him, he should no why and he should respect your decision to do that and just wait until you are ready, if you ever are, to speak to him again.
You've obviously had good times with him by the sound of things, but then you have had terrible times with him. Does the good outweigh the bad or vice versa. Has he changed, and if he has can you forgive him for the bad stuff?
You need to ask yourself these questions before making your decision. Sorry if this isn't much help, I was just trying to give some helpful advice, so I hope I have.
Hope everything goes ok x
2007-01-03 01:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT bad and NONE of this is your fault. It's the adult's faults who are around you. You cannot control your dad's bad decisions. You cannot control your mother's decisions, or this new guy. You can choose to get through this hard time, and realize that you still have a whole life ahead of you, and you will make better choices than your parents have. Learn from your parent's mistakes. Your mom's boyfriend is WRONG. He is the bad person for telling a child they are "bad" for contacting their father. If your real dad is hurting you in any way, putting you down, or otherwise verbally or emotionally abusing you in any way, tell him that you will not contact him for a while, that your relationship needs a break and you will have contact with him when he decides to treat you right. Give it 6 months or so. If however he has changed or is treating you right, there is no problem with you talking to him. Are his letters, phone calls, or any other correspondence supervised? If he says anything that doesn't seem right, or is explicit, or wrong, tell a counselor at your school, or show it to your mom. If it's a letter in writing, that's proof for your mom. Use your resources at school with the counselor. Don't stay quiet. Counselors are there to help you, talk to them. Good luck to you.
2007-01-03 01:48:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should get in touch wit yo dad and forgive him. everyone deserves a second chance. if you dont maintain your relationship with him, u will hurt because a father is an important figure, loads of pipo would kill to have a father-you have one-get him!.
you had good times, wouldnt you want that again? sounds like u really sad to me : (.
get together wit your dad and be happy, next time your step-dad tries to tell you else, tell him to p*** off.
good luck ; )
2007-01-06 10:09:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry about ur life. But i think that you should forgive your father and you may love him too. But what he did to you and ur family shows he does not love you. As for this new step father ignore him. And when your older you will realize that ur mom does not know how to deal with the issue, so she ignores the issue.
2007-01-03 11:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Sexylova49 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont call him your dad any more unless your ok with him beating your mom murdering someone doing drugs selling them and molesting you he is a sick man just keep him out of your life and you suceed in life so yeah
2007-01-03 06:34:36 · answer #5 · answered by Dana o :-) 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋