I am anti social?

Question

I know I am, I never really go out am scared unless I have a drink thats the only time I can socialise becasue I feel calm and care too much what people think of me when i am sobre I dont wan to be like this but dont know what I can do to try and change things?

Answer 1

you just sound a little shy.. try and find someone you get on with and trust and start going out on a regular basis.. i garentee ul change! :o)

Answer 2

That's not anti-social. There are two definitions of anti-social, one being the diagnosis of anti-social personality disorder, where there is little or no conscience or conception of consequences and as a result, "anti-social=acts against society" are committed. The other definition is a person who simply doesn't care to associate with others, those this is a misnomer, these people are more properly termed "asocial." You are neither. You have social anxiety disorder. Untreated this could lead in a couple of nasty directions. One, your anxiety while in public could ripen into panic attacks, you would begin to suffer panic attacks whenever you left your house or even at the thought of leaving your house and could become agoraphobic. I speak from experience, I am agoraphobic. I am no longer housebound, but it took treatment-therapy, both behavioral and cognitive, and a good anti-anxiety agent. My situation is more complex than that, but the agoraphobia stemming from social anxiety that approached paranoia was pain enough. You are also running the risk of alcohol dependency and eventual addiction. As a rule of thumb-and here I also speak from experience-liking a drug is one thing. Wanting a drug is okay, except for physical and other risks. It's when you start needing it, for whatever reason, that you're getting into trouble. You really need professional help. Failing that, talk to a pastor or a priest of some sort, they're usually trained in some form or fashion. If you find you can't plunge straight into seeking help from a professional they can be useful bridges. Research social anxiety on the Web. There are some fairly good online support groups, but be cautious in this, and I would avoid online chat groups for the time being. Strange beings prowl mental health chat rooms, and I'm not talking about people with legitimate mental health concerns. I'm talking about people who prey on the vulnerable. Arm yourself with information, and go from there. Best of luck.

Answer 3

You are not anti social but are making a mistake in putting alcohol as the criteria for feeeling calm & social. Must mix with people without involving a drink & go for any activities that call more more than just passive involvement.
Many young people feel this way & there is nothing wrong, Just watch the drinks which after sometime will become somewhat a dependency & will make you feel worse than you feel now.

Answer 4

You sound like me, except the drinking part. You shouldn't drink to calm your nerves, I'm not saying you're and alcoholic or anything. Oh and no I dont think you are anti social.

Socializing takes time and practice. The more you go and meet people the better you will get and you shouldn't be nervous at all. Just get out there meet people have fun. Theres no point being shy. Let go of your inhibitions, don't worry about how you sound or look think about the other person talk to them find out about them. Eventually you will get the hang of it.

Answer 5

You are definitely not anti social. You sound like you have low self esteem but I am not a therapist...make an appoitment to see one. You may find that you need only a couple of sessions to work this out. Alot of people feel uncomfortable in social situations and do resort to drinking to "loosen up". That is not the way to overcome this problem, only a way to cover it up. Good luck! The fact that you are asking about this is a great start!

Answer 6

It wouldn't be considered "anti-social". That's something else.

Rather than drinking to help the problem you should see a counselor, who can help you figure out if you have thinking processes that could be changed if you have the right direction; or whether there is another way to change.

There was probably something in your childhood that involved your feeling that someone else was judging you or criticizing you, and maybe your mind just got used to assuming everyone is like that when they aren't. Or, you could just have a chemical imbalance.

You could have been a little kid who got so much attention and approval from adults that you got a little too used to factoring in the response of others when you meet them.

If you're someone who mentally picks apart everyone you see you could think everyone is like you, and not everyone is.

You really ought to see someone who can help you sort out your thinking process in social situations; but in the meantime, you could try getting your mind off you and realizing that something like 60 percent of people have some form of shyness. You could try treating people the way you'd like people to treat you and even thinking about people the way you would like people to think about you (for example: "I'm not going to judge that person because I haven't met her yet.").

In any group, there could be a person or two who is mentally picking people around them apart; but those people are in the minority and have emotional/personality issues. In general, people are so wrapped up in themselves they aren't thinking a whole lot about you

Answer 7

Why do you make the statement, "I am anti social" and then end it with "?" which tends to suggest a 'Question'?

Is there a question in there somewhere?

I personally am often 'anti-social,' which means there are groups of people I choose not to socialise with ...and although this is often viewed (being 'anti-social,' I'm meaning) as a negative, I personally see it as a positive as I'm making a positive statement about myself in relation to others with whom I choose not to mix.

The difference here is that I'm not bothered if others see me / this as or 'in' a negative light. It means I'm not bothered how others see me personally ~ because I know that whatever they come up with, it will be only 'personal opinions,' and there are as many of them as there are individuals. And, they really don't count for much.

Try looking again at your feelings about how men see you because - you really can not read minds, so you don't actually KNOW. And anyway, what you think they think of you would be simply shallow in depth because 'they do not KNOW you as a person.'

Sash.

Answer 8

it happens that some incidents in life make us sad or tragic.this all effects our whole life.
but as i know how can we live apart from the society. society teaches us how to bear and face the challenges of our own life.
if we dont go outside no change will happen and no improvement in our lives.
we will go on confusing and frustrating ourselves and ultimately become pray of obsesses and doubts.
no this is not the way to live in because i also dont like gatherings or ceremonial events to go but
i go and attend the people with different attitudes . i feel burden but i go on to feel them positively. there is no substitute. after all we cannot live without society or condition would be worse. being human we need human sympathes, sincerty, honesty , friendship and others comfort and hope that we can gett by simply bearing the attitudes of people step bu step. hope so be better and go in the events and gatherings.

Answer 9

You are not anit social; you are the opposite. If you were anit social you would not care about people or feel compassion. You may be somewhat phobic (we all have them) about leaving the house. You are using a few drinks (not sure) to de-sensitize perhaps. You would not meet the actual criteria for anit-social, but you sound like a heck of a nice person, so I hope you find your social forum.

Answer 10

Hi, first thing you should do is stop thinking that there are specific things you have to do in a social situation. Be yourself, if you don't feel like talking don't. You will start to feel relaxed after a while, but it could take time.
Another thing you could do is, think of something that interests you and try to find club or whatever that caters for this interest, you will have more in common with people who share a similar interest to you, and feel more comfy with them socially.

Answer 11

i used to be the same
try not to use the drink as a way of confidence as it becomes more and more of a problem and less off a help as time goes by
perhaps finding a few hobbies will help as this brings you into contact with people with similar interest there fore making it easier to interact
maybe try taking up a sport as this can help with confidence
there is more too life than just getting drunk and later on in life your health be better for it