999/1000 people will say no...but I do. I say this because I take marriage vows seriously, and that them cheating is an extremity of 'or worse'- I think they are your spouse and you are obligated to work it out with them. I completely understand and agree with the view that...hey, its your life, you don't have to put up with that ****, and you deserve better...but this is my view. What do you think?
2007-01-02 20:25:59 · 24 answers · asked by fslcaptain737 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think if you really love the person and they are genuinely sorry for what they have done, then you should try to work it out. I am sure it would take a long time to earn back the trust and intimacy in the marriage, but I say you have to try.
2007-01-02 20:27:31 · answer #1 · answered by bashnick 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My idea is to think of this as a contract - which of course is exactly what a marriage is. So when you have a contract with someone and they break the contract then you are no longer under any obligation under the contract - that is - the contract has been breached. So now that you are operating under a broken contract - you have options that you didn't have while both parties were honoring their end of the contract. For example you could sue for dissolution of the contract - that is divorce. But if you really want the contract back sort of the way it was - then there's always the opportunity to renegotiate. And since you aren't the one who has breached the original contract - you are sort of in a stronger bargaining position. One thing I always like to remind women of in this situation is that what is good for the gander is also good for the goose. That is- he may be perfectly fine with having his cake and eating it too - But how is he gonna feel when you say - Honey I have been thinking about the cheating and I understand it. It's sort of a natural thing to want more. I had been holding my natural desire back because I wanted to honor our marriage contract - but now since I no longer have to honor the contract - seeing how you have chosen to break it. I think I'll go out and experience some of that same heat and excitement that you've been experiencing. So - honey - don't wait up. I'm gonna start going out a little on my own too! It's going to be fun feeling the freedom to enjoy some hot hunks advances. Thanks for giving me this opportunity!
Then, of course, to make this stick and work - you have to follow through. Idle threats are of no value.Use this as an opportunity to go out and have an exciting thrilling adventure or two. Then your husband will have a whole new appreciation for the contract. Odds are he will want to renegotiate.
2007-01-02 21:04:12 · answer #2 · answered by gaijinojiisan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex before marriage is called fornication. Sex with someone other than your spouse is called adultery aka cheating becasue you cheated on your promise to be faithful. Avoiding all sex outside marriage is called chastity. Marriage is the begining of a family and family is where kids get their feeling of security and their moral teachings. If moms and dads can't make sacrifices for each other and be faithful and stay together then kids grow up in day care centers where nobody really loves them. then kids grow up with more problems and then there is more crime and society gradually disentegrates. Get it? How would you like it if you were with a woman and she got pregnant with the neighbors baby? Would you be willing to give your life and resources to that baby? I wouldn't. The neighbor probably does not care much about the baby, he just wanted a place to squirt his load. It happens all the time and this is why adultery (and fornication) is wrong. You are literally ******* with the lives of the next generation when you break the rule of chastity.
2016-03-29 05:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree. Because one made a vow to be their spouse til the day he/she dies does NOT mean he/she has the right to cheat on him/her. What good is a marriage if it is going to be a rocky/unhealthy/cheating/ marriage?? When you love someone you DO NOT cheat on that person over and over. Yes i understand people make mistakes no on is perfect but cheating more than once is ridiculous. Why cheat if you're supposed to "love and honor" that person for the rest of your life. No one deserves to be used and walked on because he/she deserves better and if stayed in a cheating relationship you are only hurting yourself and why would anyone want to be in a relationship where a disease is a factor? No marriage is worth such pain.
2007-01-02 20:33:39 · answer #4 · answered by !Like OmG! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even God allows divorce. Marriage vows are just like what Christians call "salvation". If you didn't mean it sincerely, then God knows. Even if the state acknowledges your marriage, it still has not been acknowledged or blessed by him. It takes 'contrition' to receive the grace and mercy that your 'vow' or 'confession' allots you both in life and especially marriage. In other words if your spouse has his 'fingers crossed' behind his back as my husband had, then he will act as though he is in no way accountable to a commitment or responsibility to his 'vow'. Remember an unstable man is unstable in all his ways and we are to know him by his fruit. How can God set you free from bondage if you insist on staying in the bondage. If a man truly repents then we are to accept that but if a man says something like "I'm sorry and won't do it again" and continues to 'cheat' then remember "WOE unto him. Please remember it takes two people to be married. If only one is commited to love the other as Christ loved the church then there is no marriage -there are only problems that cannot be changed because the heart does not submit or truly want to change. What you are talkin' bout is 'abandonment' and that is grounds for divorce in the church. But if you are not a believer then your feelings may have something to do with merely a 'belief' different from mine. Then okay but if some guy refuses to love me enough to stop cheating on me with others then rather than risk contracting AIDS or other STDs or subject me to jealous rages or stalking or children from this relationship I'll choose to leave. Not even God wishes that for me because he loved us all enough to routinely set his people free from disrespect and life damaging lifestyles.
2007-01-02 20:54:08 · answer #5 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound very kind and thoughtful to want to work it out and if you can work it out that's great but if the cheating is a continuous thing not just a one time "mistake" then I would have to say the marriage would need to end. After the first time and the pain the person caused they are no longer considering your feelings. They are completely disregarding the vows. Cheat once shame on you cheat twice shame on me theory.
2007-01-02 20:29:32 · answer #6 · answered by uknowme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had been asking myself this same question ever since I started to suspect my husband of 25 years might be cheating on me and the first thing I said was that I was going to leave him. He says that he never wants to leave me and he don't want me to leave him either. and the second thing that I said is that when I had got married I had made a promise to love,hold ,cherish and to be the best wife that I could be for better or for worse and that's just the way it was and will always be until death due us part. So yes I do agree with you 100 percent.
2007-01-02 23:52:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really love someone, than if u want to put the effort in to it, than that's okay too, as we all have different beliefs, and some people can take alot more than others can. some people live by total faith, and while i certainly can't argue that, betrayal is painful, and hurts the self worth of the one cheated on. think however that one can only put up with it so long, if it turns into a pattern of behavior, as if there is no consequences for their actions, they may do it over and over again. forgiveness may work once or even twice but after awhile how long must one put up with it, before they can't deal with it anymore.
2007-01-03 01:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ruby _gel , cheating is the one thing the bible says you can get a divorce for.
That said, when you marry, you give yourself to each other, not each other and anyone else you choose. you took a vow to be faithful, that vow was broken, staying with the person is a personal choice.
Don't whine if it happens again.
2007-01-02 20:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! Wedding vows SHOULD be taken seriously, to love AND HONOR. If the spouse is cheating. there can be no trust. And without trust, is it really a marriage?
2007-01-02 20:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by Kalenamaui 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋