A married friend of mine called me on friday to tell me his wife was diagnosed with HPV virus...(she has an appt this week for a freeze removal) He has been TOTALLY faithful to her...His 1st wife cheated on him too...Obviously, this one cheated too!! He got a test today but results are not yet known...I think he should move out and get a divoce atty on speed-dial...should he leave regardless of results or try and make it work...cheating is one thing...but a PERMANENT STD is another!!! He was married for 14 years to his 1st wife and 9 to this one..He is 49 and i think he feels his whole world is colapseing...i would like to help him and advise him..but shy of a divorce and make her pay lifetime medical to him...i am at a loss..they have no kids together. Also, is there a way that one could compare the test results and determine who gave it to who...he says he so far has no symptoms...He would need this proof for legal reasons and to throw it in her face since she is denying an affair...
2007-01-02 20:11:53 · 26 answers · asked by susan c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She could have been exposed to HPV long before they were even married. Normally symptoms show up 2-3 months after exposure, but in some cases it has been YEARS since exposure. He should not jump to any conclusions about her faithfulness.
Checkout Yahoo!Health and search on HPV.
2007-01-02 20:18:30 · answer #1 · answered by bashnick 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that they should get a divorce so soon. You should not jump to conclusions. When I was 18 I had an STD and got treated for that. Confirmed it was cured. Then, when was 22 and I went to the Dr. to have my regular pap, I had a abnormal pap and they tested me and found that it was HPV. Most of the time this virus goes away on its own in a year or two, but sometimes it can cause cancer. That is why it is a good idea to have regular paps. She may have not been unfaithful. And he could have got something from his first wife, and gave to his second if he wasn't checked out before they started having sex. I think that he should support his wife since she will need the support and I am sure that not only is he kind of upset but I am sure that she is as well. This is a major thing they need to work out together.
2007-01-02 20:37:23 · answer #2 · answered by Renee B 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is so difficult, does your wife know or has she noticed how her daughter is reacting? You obviously love your wife but you need to handle this delicately to avoid hurting them both. Perhaps mention to your step daughter that you love her mum and wouldn't ever want to jeopardise that for anything. Is she lonely? Perhaps she should be encouraged to try some social gatherings to meet new people? Whatever you try, don't mention to your wife what her daughter said, it would cause a lot of hurt. If nothing improves maybe a chat with your wife that you're concerned about her daughter? That she seems a bit clingy and lonely? I'm only guessing, you know the situation better but I hope it works out x
2016-03-14 00:56:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a virus can stay in your body for years before you see the full bloom. for some viruses, transmission may start only after the virus has developed. moreover she may have caught the std by eating uncooked seafood that's contaminated while having an ulcer in the mouth, getting in contact with another infected person's blood when there's a small cut on her hand (without her realising it!) and so on. hope everything would be ok soon.. i would suggest to not give up a relationship of nearly a decade so soon. wait till the results arrive. all the best :)
2007-01-02 20:18:12 · answer #4 · answered by Melody 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for eight years, although we usually used condoms and foam, before my wife got it. To this day, after 25 years of being together I have no symptoms. And, no, I didn't cheat on her. Like the above say, it lays dormant. 70% of people with it, or 14% of adults in general, don't know they have it. If there are other signs it's another matter though, isn't it.
2007-01-02 20:22:22 · answer #5 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
HPV can go undetected for years and that is why it causes so many cancers of the reproductive organs - you said she had an appointment to get something frozen off (like maybe suspicious cells?) this could have been caused by years of carrying around this disease and not knowing it. this virus doesn't cause diseases over night.... it takes time- which means she probably HAS had it for years and now she is sick and scared and being accused of cheating when she could have very well had it before they got married
2007-01-02 20:20:05 · answer #6 · answered by kim 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am not in favour of divorce simply because his wife is diagnosed with HPV. This disease must have been transmitted by him as he had been married since 9 years. Being a good husband he should look after her in this hour of need. He should one day have to die. His wife needs his prime attention and he should not disappoint her. He should get her treated of this disease and have a good time in his life thereafter. Good Luck from me.
2007-01-02 20:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I did a lot of research on this particular subject and what I found was that More than 100 different types of HPV exist, most of which are harmless. About 30 types are spread through sexual contact and are classified as either low risk or high risk. Some types of HPV cause genital warts-single or multiple bumps that appear in the genital areas of men and women including the vagina, cervix, vulva (area outside of the vagina), penis, and rectum. These are considered low risk types. High-risk types of HPV may cause abnormal Pap smear results and could lead to cancers of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, or penis.
That would make about 70 of the HPV viruses that are not transmitted sexually, she could be telling the truth. Don't know which virus she has or which variation. Check out the National Institute of Health website. It has lots of interesting information.
2007-01-02 20:26:08 · answer #8 · answered by cinquefoil_solis 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
HPV (genital warts) can be caused by many things having nothing to do with the sexual activities of either party., they can be passed down through bloodlines. A common cause of HPV in many years past was poor personal hygiene.....
Don't jump to conclusions as the virus lays dormant for many many years until it is triggered by some event.
2007-01-02 20:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by knightmare996 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look...she really could have contracted HPV long before she married the man!! "Most people who have genital HPV do not know that they have been infected" since it "usually causes no symptoms (CDC)." Probably the way she found out about it was through an abnormal pap smear! Get a grip!! You should support their marriage here and give her the benefit of the doubt!!
2007-01-02 20:21:34 · answer #10 · answered by What, what, what?? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋