i had sex with an 18 year old guy..i've known him for a year...but he isnt my boyfriend...and he told me that he would help me get and abortion if i wanted to..but he said if i wanted to keep the baby then he doesnt know what he would do...im dont know what do do...i dont have a job and im only a sophmore in high school..i dont know what to do..and i dont know how to tell my parents...and i dont think he's gonna be there for the baby if i keep it..i dont know what to do..i dont want to have an abortion..but im too scared to tell my parents...what do i do?
2007-01-02 19:42:36 · 38 answers · asked by vegasgirlygirls2005 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I don't know what you should do either. However, I do want to tell you that the first step would probably be to tell your parents and only you know how they will react and they might also surprise you.
Sure, they will probably be a little upset and angry but you need support from somewhere. I think your best bet is to try there first.
But the main reason I wanted to answer this question is to say that you have more than just the option of having an abortion and/or raising the child. Adoption is also an option and without getting to "preach-y" it might be the best one for you if you feel you can't provide EVERYTHING the child needs.
2007-01-02 19:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off tell your parents. no way around that unless you decide to abort. many states will let you have one with out parents permission or notification after a certain age, in washington state its 12. if you decide to keep it make sure you go to court and get a parenting plan and a child support order. you cant force him to be there for you or the baby but you can make him pay for it. consider adoption. if you don't abort and keep the baby theres no way you can support the kid alone. not being in school still and so young. dont ruin your life anymore than it is already and dont ruin the kids life.
and last of all, birthcontrol. if you're going to insist on having sex before you are ready to accept the consequenses then at least use birth control
2007-01-02 20:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 15 years old when I got Pregnant. My son is Josh and he is now 23 years old. I know you are scared, but it is only the thought of what your mom and dad will do. Once you tell them what is happening they can help you honey. Trust me I am a mom of 6 teen kids now and parents get madd, but there is nothing a parent will not do to help there kids. You made a mistake and that is having unprotected sex. Now, you have a baby inside you that is growing everyday. It is time to tell your mom and or dad. Remember that it is your choice to keep or abort a baby, your parents can not make you do anything. You are this babies MaMa and as a child yourself you need to go to your Mom and she will be upset, but she will not stop loving you. Do the brave right thing and do it soon.
Best wishes for you.
Tracylyn
2007-01-03 04:01:29 · answer #3 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing, dont get an abortion. It is basically killing the baby and it doesnt deserve that. No offense but the baby shouldnt have to suffer from ur stupidity. For now, stop messing around with that guy. You need to tell your parents. Be straight foward. There is no other way to do it. Tell them ur pregeant and give them all the details like who the guy is and how old he is. Don't hide those facts. Your parents will probably be angry and upset at first, but they will calm down and help you and be there for you. Be safe and good luck telling your parents. If you are pregeant, good luck with the baby.
2007-01-03 03:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by Rhianna 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys that young will promise you things and never deliver. If you want this baby, be prepared to take care of it on your own. Have you thought about adoption? There are so many people out there that cannot have a baby and would do anything to have one. Abortion is a very personal decision, and you can develop depression and guilt (I have had one). Talk to your parents and tell them you wish to handle this situation like an adult. They may be angry at first, but if they are good people and supported you in the past, they will get over the initial shock and help you in your decision. Best bet would be to tell mom first. Good luck in what you decide
2007-01-02 19:49:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must tell your parents if you know for sure. Buy a few pregnancy tests from the drugstore and see if you can get an appointment in with a doctor or at a local clinic. Your parents will love you no matter how much you mess up, their anger will just be out if care. If you want to keep the baby, don't let anyone tell you differently. You must also factor in the fact that this "man" will probably not be there for the baby's lifetime/well-being.
2007-01-02 19:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by cloudyskies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all get the pregnancy test.
Next, make up your mind. If you don't want to get an abortion (why? - make sure you have firm religious convictions against it) then please consider adoption. If you decide on this option then go to your parents with a firm plan - "I made a mistake, and here's what I'm going to do about it."
Next contact a reputable adoption agency in your community. They will be more than happy to help you with your decisions as to open vs. closed adoption. They will help you with the emotional issues.
Please don't make the mistake of thinking that it's a good idea to keep this baby. You can correct your mistake by giving someone the greatest gift of all - a child. And you can grow up and have your own children when the time is right.
2007-01-03 03:39:09 · answer #7 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, you say you are "possibly" pregnant. You have to know for sure so the first thing to do is get a pregnancy test.
Once you know for sure, IF you are pregnant you should definitely tell your parents. Whatever you decide - whether to keep your baby or not - you will need their help and/or support.
You are still young, think about your life, your future. You need to finish school so that you will have a chance for a better life AND for a better life of your baby if you decide to keep it.
I don't think that boy is the one who will give you a good advice and the support you need. Just take a deep breath and tell your parents. Even if they get mad at first, they will stay beside you through this.
2007-01-02 19:58:32 · answer #8 · answered by Elize 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you've got alot of good advice here. I would have to say I agree with everyone who says don't get an abortion. It has just as many side affects as actually having a baby. Also, do tell your parents, because they'll be a lot happier to find out now, instead of in three months when they notice your belly. If you want to talk, I've got a lot of thoughts on it. And I can talk to you about God if you need to. He's there for you. :)
azmirahrouge@yahoo.com
2007-01-03 06:20:22 · answer #9 · answered by ranchgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what you should do...but I know what you shouldn't do.
Don't do something jsut cause people you don't know are telling you to.
In MY opinion, I think your way to young to be having sex and be pregnant, but the way I was raised, you live with the choices you make. If you go out and have sex and get pregnant, you follow through with the pregnancy and have your baby, and do your best to raise it, with help (dont pawn it off to your parents though), stay in school and accomplish all you can. I know it's possible!!!!
Or, you give it up for adoption. I know so many families who want babies and can't!!! For me, abortion wouldn't be an option, that would be like running from the problem.
But like I said, don't do it, just cause people tell you to. but what I would do is talk to my parents, hopefully your parents/guardian allows you to be open with them, and won't get mad or disown your or what ever.
If you'd like to talk more about this you can email me. :)
2007-01-02 20:39:27 · answer #10 · answered by Bride2Be 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋