For some reason, I get creative when I'm tired and one day, I thought of this story and actually made it sound interesting I think. Can I get your opinion if you think it's good and scary or just boring?
2007-01-02 19:33:40 · 12 answers · asked by David H 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I went to the house with Seraph's Wings and Bat's Claws to place a curse over it. I went inside and there were crows everywhere, I summoned a spirit of light and the crows became frightened and flew off. Afterwards, in preparation for what was coming, I warned myself against helplesness and not to be discouraged if it became tedious. The owner of this house had done something terrible to me and I was like not to forget that. I had to be cautious though, my enemy had quite a few ways to deal with pests and I had seen some of them visited on my neighbors. I gathered my wits and walked on.
The farther I walked it seemed, the house twisted and turned and seemed to twist downwards. I bade each door I came across to reveal it's secrets and show me what I wanted to see but not a one would open and I had no choice but to continue.
2007-01-02 19:34:28 · update #1
Deeper in the house, light grew darker and I had to grab things in the darkness to keep myself reminded I was in a house and not a torture chamber. I imagined I heard a scuttling behind me and whirled around to face whatever it was. With shaking hands I took out my handkerchief and began wiping my face of the sweat that was starting to form there for when I had turned around, I hadn't been able to see anything but I felt as if I was staring into something's eyes. Slowly I turned around and forced my frozen feet to move me forward to the last door in the hallway which I felt sure would open. I arrived at the door and chanced a look back, I still could not see anything but I felt the thing was farther away then it had previously been and had no intention of coming closer. Now every breath I took seemed a labor, if that thing had no wish to get closer to the door, how could I hope to survive?
2007-01-02 19:34:58 · update #2
I brought together all the courage I imagined I possessed and reached for the doorknob. Even before I had extended a hand, sweat began to multiply on it. My breathing ceased to be a labor and began to come out ragged and shallow. I grasped the doorknob and summoned my courage again. Without giving heed to second thoughts, I flung open the door and gasped. I had to squint my eyes to make them believe what they were seeing. They were in fact, seeing nothing. Every ray of light it seemed had been brought to it's knees in that pitch blackness. It was like staring at a wall of complete and utter darkness. If anything had been a test before this, it had been small. I couldn't begin to think what was behind that darkness. Suddenly, my feet began to move forward. I looked down, I was doing it I think but I was amazed how I was able to withstand my fear. I walked in and was overcome by darkness.
2007-01-02 19:35:15 · update #3
It seemed to suffocate me as I tried to see something in it. I looked to my left and saw something burning. I could barely see embers flying around but I couldn't see what was burning. I heard something to my right and looked that way, I could see several little shapes running in the shadows of the burning fire. As with my feet moving by themselves, I drew a breath in and called out to my enemy to come out. I heard something move and saw him emerge from the darkness. He didn't emerge all the way however, his lower half was still covered in darkness. I pointed a trembling finger at him and started to say something but my words froze in my throat. I tried in vain to say the words I had practiced in my mind for so long but they wouldn't come out. He looked at me for a bit and without talking, stepped all the way out of the shadows. What I saw so terrified me that I fainted.
2007-01-02 19:35:58 · update #4
I woke up in my bed the next morning and thought "Did I dream all that?" I resolved to go back and confront him again but when I got there, the house was gone. I questioned the people in town and they said it had "walked away during the night" and they had "heard it walking" I was on the verge of laughing but remembering my night in there, caught my tongue and kept silent. If he had taken the house and left, he almost surely had left a trail. A trail I vowed to follow
2007-01-02 19:36:11 · update #5
I found this led nowhere for so long, I can see how it could be great, yet I found my mind wandering often. A great effort and congratulations for bringing it to the attention of so many people, who could either give positive or negative comments. You have a great imagination and great courage to post that story. It can only get better.
2007-01-02 19:50:50 · answer #1 · answered by Whava 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad, it could use some more description. I found myself waiting to find out what exactly was in "the darkness" But seeing as his enemy let him live, I think he should just let it go and not "follow" the trail so to speak....
2007-01-03 03:43:03 · answer #2 · answered by Michele A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a very well written story. But who was this thing that came out of the dark??
2007-01-03 03:39:42 · answer #3 · answered by nevada nomad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was a long story! So because I took the time to see it I think that says it was pretty good! NOT GREAT! But ok!
2007-01-03 03:40:00 · answer #4 · answered by gilda13me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whats the story
2007-01-03 03:34:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought you said short
2007-01-03 03:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds pretty cool to me!
2007-01-03 03:46:37 · answer #7 · answered by Elvis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a nightmare
2007-01-03 03:36:58 · answer #8 · answered by igottanoe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well written but too much in the grey area.
2007-01-03 03:35:33 · answer #9 · answered by rhonda3826 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what is a long story if thats what you call short?
2007-01-03 03:37:35 · answer #10 · answered by diarubie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋