Since my husband and I have first met we have gone through dry spells cuz he has made up excuses like it was against his religion (even though we'd already done it like 50 times) and it would get better after we we're married. The newest is cuz we have kids and it will get better after they're grown up . I know for a fact he has cheated on me even though he's never admitted to it. Then less than a year ago he tells me that I pressure him too much. If I don't initiate it, it don't happen. He rarely comes on to me (like every six months). He leaves it up to me. I'm so frusterated! Do you think he's seeing somebody else everytime he comes up with a long term excuse not to have sex? He refuses to talk about it any further sober or drunk. He tells me he has said everything there is to say. I'm ready to walk out. He has pushed me away so many times and hurt me so badly that I don't even want him that way anymore. Please tell me what you think, and I could use a good laugh too.
2007-01-02 19:26:46 · 11 answers · asked by Tasha 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
good question,as thats how i feel towards my wife too.i,d rather get myself off rather than tango with the mrs,as its quick and convienent.i know the ladys dont like this but a man can find it boring after 10 or more years marriage to get it going with her,does not mean i dont love her,and dont forget its embarassing to talk about sex with your partner,ladies think were all sex fiends,which is okay when your 20 odd,but not at 40 odd,hope this helps
2007-01-02 19:36:21 · answer #1 · answered by TONe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch, this is a complicated one. I'd recommend that you go to couples' therapy. It just sounds like he won't open up to you, and that's bad for a marriage by itself, not even taking into consideration the lack of intimacy.
However, you say he has cheated on you, so the trust is already gone from your relationship with him. At this point, your best option may be to just leave now before any further damage is done.
If both you and your husband want to make this work, seek professional help, and I wish you all the best. But if you think you'll never be able to trust him again, or he's not interested in communication at all, you should seperate from him as soon as possible.
2007-01-02 19:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by Alicia 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WOW! It's time to start watching Dr. Phil and calling Dr. Laura!!!
Actually, this is one of the few legitimate reasons where they approve of a spouse leaving! they both say that you deserve to be happy!
A divorce would be devastating to your children - is there anyway you could hold out till they are grown?
I dont think he's cheating - men hardly ever turn down the chance to have sex! I wonder if he's physically ok. Perhaps he needs to be evaluated by a physician.
Wow - that's some pickle youre in! Good luck with that!
2007-01-02 19:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by DaBoomvang 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a problem many women are dealing with. If your financially secure and your lifestyle won`t change for you and your kids, the simple answer is dissolve this relationship.It seams by your question you feel he is capable of having sex. If he tell you he can`t then tell him your making an appointment with a urologist and a full medical exam to test his testosterone count simple.
If you just need sex,there are other simple solutions
2007-01-03 02:51:50 · answer #4 · answered by tonyflorida2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get all the evidence I could and make an appointment with a lawyer, serve him with papers and tell him " get out right now" . You are having sex with a man that could be infecting you with all kinds of decease and you want to hide the fact that you have been snooping and worried that he would flip out. He wouldn't sleep one more night under the same roof as my kids. If he is into things that are that lewd, protect you kids they could be next in the line of lewd acts.
2016-03-29 05:40:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may really have a problem, if so he needs to see a doctor or something..If he is cheating you need to find out and kick him to the curb...If he drinks that is sometimes a real problem...either way it is hurting you..so you need answers, so do not settle for less than the truth..
2007-01-02 19:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by Brenda Soooooooooooooooooooooooo 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a sexually mismatched husband.
It sucks beyond belief, I know, I've got the same problem. It makes me feel horrible.
There are others that understand what you are going through (hell).
SWAGE
2007-01-03 03:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Sounds to me like he is cheating. Sex is a very important part of a relationship! Humans have to have touch to bond and there is not anything more bonding than sex. LEAVE HIS CHEATING BEHIND!!!
2007-01-02 19:33:45 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa Sue 25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him walk in on you taking care of business by yourself! That should get his motor revved!
Otherwise, I honestly think he could be seeing someone else. Maybe you need to find someone else who will love you and want to share intimacy with you.
2007-01-02 19:30:50 · answer #9 · answered by bashnick 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i can't tell you what to do
cuz i know love is strong
leave it up to GOD he will tell you....
2007-01-02 19:57:37 · answer #10 · answered by samatha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋