SO. I'm in my early twenties and have never really dated because I have no interest in dating guys, and am not ready yet to tell people I am interested in women (I'm also female). Although, I'd think by now my family and stuff must be wondering. Ha ha. My dad will most likely disown me, but what can you do? In addition I'm scared I will freak out my friends and have them all worried that I have been lusting after them for years, which I really haven't. This is honestly the first time I've ever acknowledged my feelings outside of just my head. Besides my concerns about my father and my friends, I have no idea how to tell if a person is open to anything, and I really don't want to state my feelings for a person to be brutally shut down. I guess there isn't much of a question in here. I just want more from my life, but am kind of terrified to get it. Can anyone who has been in this position give me advice, or anything? Thank you.
2007-01-02 18:25:18 · 9 answers · asked by T 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Gurrrrl...
A caterpillar transforms into a butterfly, but not before it goes through the process of encasing itself in its own crap (insert tech. term here) and eventually shedding it to become something more refined.
Coming out is like shedding all that crap and all those emotions your feeling re: your friends and family. Sure you may lose some friends or you may end up getting disowned (which may not even happen) but what you'll end up w/ is the loyal friends and the understanding family members that can love you as who you really are.
Its hard... but I think butterflies are beautiful.
Good Luck
2007-01-02 18:33:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been there and I understand your confusion. I recommend looking into similar teen groups and maybe joining them around your area. But depending on what kind of family and friends u have maybe it is time for u to spread your wings and fly away for awhile to find yourself..or do the easy way and join chatrooms get the hang of talking to others like yourself hopefully you have fun while your at it and don't hesitate to ask a question if you are unsure about an answer..try out talkcity.com or other similar places or find a confidant someone you know would give up a kidney than tell a secret and convers with that individual hopefully u will bumb into similar peeps and have a good time..good luck~
2007-01-03 03:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by Charmer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had a couple good girl friends tell me that they were gay, even one when I was 12.. but I am not the judge mental type either.. I was not scared they had been attracted to me for years, I felt glad they could come to me and get the information off of their chest-
Since you are in your early 20's I assume you can bar hop? try a couple gay bars and get a little feeling of the "society" I guess you could call it. I wouldn't know, Ive never been in a gay bar before. so dont take that word offensively. anyway, also just treat women you might want to be interested in like any other budding friendship, and as you get closer and feel more comfortable you can hint along, women are good at reading hints, usually :) good luck!
2007-01-03 02:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by allaboutme_333 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may be a guy, but I know what youre going through. I was so scared to tell my friends I was bi because I thought they would all be creeped out by me and think I was hitting on them all the time; plus, I could get away with saying I was straight because I also liked girls. Eventually though, I realized I wouldnt be happy or be able to get rid of my stress if I didnt come out to my friends, and so I did. Most of them were very amicable about it; a few even said they already knew! Tell your friends before your father, it will make it easier on you to tell him if youve already gauged the responses with your friends. And if your friends dont accept you just because you're a lesbian, are they really that wonderful of friends? Be confident in yourself, and start with your closest friends; you'll be less stressed and happier when you've come out.
2007-01-03 03:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by guitarherofairy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you'll find out who your friends really are...after all after you tell them you'll still be the same person...they might or might not be the same people...but do you really want friends who think that little of you..Friendships are formed not from the laughs we have with people..but from sharing the hard times with them...that is to me what creates a true friend...I can go out and have a good time with anyone..but I can only tell a true friend my secret fears...Your dad? well he might just surprise you....but to be safe you might want to contact your local PFLAG (parents and friends of lesbians and gays) they have lots of resources to help you with that situation...and they are nice, understanding,caring people who generally have gay children themselves. Good luck.
2007-01-03 03:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still live with your family, move out. And engage in your own lifestyle how you choose. You wanna be gay go ahead. Be gay with whoever you want, if your father doesn't want to accept you and disown you then shame on him. Open up to yourself. You'll be alot happier.
2007-01-03 03:55:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be 'Yourself' and let things happen 'organically'.
Does Your family discuss the 'intimate-details' of their own sexual-life/lives-?
If they DO,...then feel FREE to discuss Your OWN 'intimate-details' with them,.....either they'll 'accept-You' or they won't,.... either way,... the 'problem' is ended......IMPO.
2007-01-03 04:03:12 · answer #7 · answered by Realistic Viewpoint 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The devil sure is talking in your head. Resist him and he'll flee from you. Count the costs spiritually as that's most important. You can live without family relationships but a man can't live eternally fulfilled without His Maker.
2007-01-03 08:32:18 · answer #8 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 5⤋
You don't have to date boys, but it's a mistake to try to engage in sexual relations with people of the same sex. That won't make you happy, I promise. I am sorry that you're feeling isolated and I hope you can work things out.
2007-01-03 02:31:12 · answer #9 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 7⤋