Recently split from my husbandfor the 3rd time a little more than a month ago. My sons father has already introduced his new girlfriend....yes same girl he has cheated on me with three times to our 5 year old son. What do you think to soon?
2007-01-02 18:21:48 · 18 answers · asked by loqueen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh and by the way she has tried to break into my ex's apartment with the kids around and verbaly in person was yelling and harrassing my stepdaughter but now that my ex has gone back to her I am just suppose to forget all that and be ok with her being around my son. She was never around him the previous times.
2007-01-02 18:35:00 · update #1
Sounds like your son has been through it. Three splits and now a stranger. Poor kid. I think if he has already met her it's to late to do anything about it. Your ex sounds like a real piece of work, can't you stop him from seeing your son if he's cheated on you and is now with the ho? I wouldn't want my son to be around someone like her or his dad, both have no morals. Time to think only about your son and get him out of that situation.
2007-01-02 18:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by poodlemama1965 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends. As a single mother I have rules regarding when I introduce my child to a boyfriend. First off they can get to know eachother, but I leave the romantic relationship I am sharing with this guy out of it. He's just another friend as far as my child is concerned. This is the rule until I can say with some assurance that the relationship is serious and has good potential. Then I may allow my child to know a little bit more about the feelings the guy and I share. The point is he shouldn't be introducing her like this unless he's really serious about it otherwise he's only going to make your son upset. Having people come in and out of your life is not a good thing, hopefully the father recognizes this.
2007-01-02 18:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the 3rd time? Make it for good this time, for your son's sake. If your husband was cheating on you, your son might get the impression that that kind of behavior is acceptable.
To answer your question, that was waaaay too soon to introduce him. 6 months is the absolute minimum, and only if it seems very serious. Alot of parents wait until they get engaged again to introduce their significant other to their children.
How is your husband handling it? Did he introduce his girlfriend as "his friend"? That's by far the best way to go about it. If he's trying to get your son to call her "mommy", however, I'd have a long talk one-on-one with him on what is going to be acceptable.
2007-01-02 18:29:59 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to get the feel that no matter what happens between you and the new women to be, that she will treat your kids as if they were her own and that she will respect you as well as their mother and get an understanding with her that you have to communicate with the mother regardless but make sure
she(the girlfriend) is comfortable at the same time. then you have a talk with the kids( just to let them know that a women will be coming around and you care about her) watch and listen for their response and then make a move! Good Luck!!
2007-01-02 18:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by MS-SINGLE37 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex obviously finds her important enough to introduce him to her. It is much better than him being confused at why he's spending so much time with her later.
It is too bad that he cheated on you, but don't make your son troubled by bashing your ex and his new girlfriend. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be together. The best thing you can do, is have discussions with eachother when conflicts arise.
2007-01-02 18:26:20 · answer #5 · answered by Josie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would be more concerned with the relationship he is having with your son..as long as he is being a good father and you a good mother your son will be able to access the situation better than most adults would and know who he can go to and who loves him...be civil for the kid and remember you may have someone too soon and i am sure he may be introduced as well...just let your son know he is loved...good luck
2007-01-02 18:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by michele m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jen, this is tough on you, try not to make it tough on your kids. Remember, you will always be "mom". Your son knows this and no matter how he may ultimately feel about any of his dad's girlfriends/wives/etc, you will always be his mother. Don't use this as an issue to fight with dad. Remember, his father will always be his father. The three of you are bound together as long as you are alive, so try to make the best of it. Father may be a jerk, but he is the boy's father. Don't try to hit dad through the boy. Trust your own instincts, love your son, give him lots of hugs and kisses and don't bad-mouth dad. If dad is a jerk, your son will earn it on his own.
2007-01-02 18:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by judgebill 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess he's pretty serious about this girl, but what must confuse your son more is the rollercoaster ride he's been on with you taking back your ex so many times!
Let your ex move on, don't take him back again, and as long as he's respectful and mindful of your son's emotions, then he should introduce his new girl whenever he wants (as long as she's also respectful of your boy and doesn't want to play instant-stepmom).
2007-01-02 18:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by catwomanmeeeeow 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow that bites.
But it sounds like there is going to be a perpetual triangle going on here--so the little guy might as well meet the 3rd angle.
M
2007-01-02 18:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No a son is more likely to not have any bad affects, but a girl well they have all kinds of problems.
2007-01-02 18:23:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋