happily married for 6 years, never really had any fights, she decides she requires to have space and find herself.
she does have feelings for someone else but not sure/confused
doesnot really want to go to see anyone.
2007-01-02 18:04:58 · 19 answers · asked by curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess you have to decide what do you want to do.
Is it worth it to you to wait around until your wife gets her feelings sorted out, regardless of how painful it is to you? If so, is it worth the risk to see if she even comes back to be with you after time "on her own"? Finally, if she does come back home, will you be able to forgive her and trust her again?
I'm sorry, but if she "has feelings for someone else", then it sounds like it's only a matter of time. Marriage isn't a gondola that you step in and out of whenever it's convenient, and it sure doesn't have any room for "window shopping".
If she's been looking around enough to "get feelings" for someone else, even while she's with you, and now she wants to try and spread her wings a little to "find herself", it sounds like things are already set in motion. She may not be quite ready to admit infidelity to herself, but the stage is being set.
That is not what marriage is all about.
And if she does become sexually involved with someone else and THEN tries to come back to you....IF.....are you willing to go through tests for HIV (or other sexually transmitted diseases) and marriage counseling and all the other indignities that will be required of you both just to get through this okay?
Been there, done that, found someone who understood commitment and love and fidelity, and am MUCH HAPPIER FOR IT!
Good luck, we really do wish you all the best!
2007-01-02 18:16:57 · answer #1 · answered by CassandraM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough blow. I would suspect that there were signs but you did not see them. That is probably part of the problem right there. You need to decide what you want and if you are willing to give her space and hope that she comes back to you. I would give her an ultimatum and invite her to come home and work on your marriage by opening up to you, get some professional counseling, and try to make this work, or I would prepare yourself for the eventual divorce by getting your personal affairs in order... start stashing your cash dude.
2007-01-02 18:09:40 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
nicely, if he's playing and ingesting whilst not at artwork. He in all probability would not think of lots approximately intercourse. on the greater youthful of 31 men could be attempting to get it continuously. atleast three times each and every week. you may consult with him approximately this. do not are available waiting to swing fists, lol. tell him you may talk approximately something this is relatively bothering. in case you do not sense that merely chatting with him on my own will help, perhaps seek for some counseling. Many couples have had to do counseling. So do not think of it ability the two of you have failed at something. it truly is merely intense-high quality to a mediator there or a 0.33 celebration. Plus, if he's ingesting and playing that there is sufficient to destroy an marriage. I say you may safeguard this pronto. stable success
2016-10-19 09:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know how many women that are out there with kids asking the same thing. We all pick up the pieces and move on. I don't mean for this to sound mean or anything but, I think it's funny because men can do this to women all the time and not even bat an eye lash but, when it happens to them...the world comes to an end.
2007-01-02 18:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by airtightreality 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, apparently only you were "happily married" not her. She is cheating. "Space" and "finding myself" are code words for "I've been messing around on you but I'm not sure if I have found the perfect situation for myself yet so you hang on here and wait until I decide what I'm gonna do." Maybe you should go find yourself.
2007-01-02 18:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by cakekweeny 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, tough break. Sounds to me like she's not sure of her commitment to you. Are you sure you were 'both' happily married for 6 years. All you can do is try to show her that you are the one that God made for her to share her life with. Did she give up being herself when she became your wife? You could try looking at www.drphill.com to find some advice. I hope it works out well for both of you.
2007-01-02 18:15:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She found her life boring and unfulfilling and maybe you could be described the same way. If you can't see anything wrong with your life in the last 6 years, possibly you can shrug it off and move on...or...try to win her back with a new re-invented you. Life is too short not to be an adventure with fun...FUN Laughter..If you didn't laugh at least a bit, every day...boring.
2007-01-02 18:12:11 · answer #7 · answered by Ralph the Sage 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i understand what she means by space. i'm 32. how old is she and how old were you guys when you got together and how old was she when you guys got married?
did she complete all that a person is suppose to complete at every stage of life? has she ever lived on her own?
people in their late 20's early 30's start to question the decisions that they've made up to this point of their life.
when i was going through this 'looking for myself' (i still am) i was referred to the following by my therapist:
life transitions: making sense of life transitions by bill bridges
it helped me gain some understanding on what was happening in my marriage and with me. i thought that i was going through a mid-life crisis at 30!
your wife is probably going through one of her life transition. EVERYONE goes through this.
if she skipped or ignored any of these 'life transitions' while growing up, then it will just catch up with her now or later.
does this sound confusing? read the book ...
2007-01-02 18:33:42 · answer #8 · answered by m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never any real fights?... No passion?... maybe you were just friends, and it went to far? If she says she has feelings for someone else, she has BEEN CHEATING ON YOU> Where's your anger, your pain, YOUR PASSION? If she has gone far enough to move out, she is ready to move on. You need to let her go, find your own self. Once a cheat, always a cheat.
2007-01-02 18:10:02 · answer #9 · answered by sharons 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's sharing her " space" with the " someone else" and you don't know/realize it or she is depressed and needs some counseling.
2007-01-02 18:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋