never cheated and yet he still thinks I do things, even if he doesnt say it outright he makes little comments like "where did you get that answer, your internet buddies?" or when I m on the computer he thinks I planning on seeing someone or leaving him. I am also a stayhome mom and HE does not want me to work at all and he doesnt want me to go back to school one bit, he doesnt help in the child watching areas either so I cant just go get a job. He is also controlling as ****. He insinuates that I cheat or want to, wen I dont. ALL of his exes have cheated on him and he has cheated on them, so he thinks all women are whores. He is 32 and im 26, we have a child together.
I am sick of him not trusting me and I always thought that a partner was suppose to want you to be someone or support you in life, not the opposite. He also almost always forgets what I say to him, unless it involves sex. I dont know what to say him anymore, I m not just going to leave,there has to be something.
2007-01-02 17:59:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can see why you'd fantasize about being with someone else, given this situation. The fact is, this is not a healthy relationship. Maybe he knows this on some level, and fears a "worst case scenario" of you cheating. From a totally more realistic perspective, you're better off moving out and filing for divorce. You'll get alimony and child support, and a chance to make a life for yourself. Just don't go getting involved with another guy in all that - it'll just make your life more complicated.
2007-01-04 09:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by SoCalSkierGuy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the Field of psychology, His actions are identified as "Controlling, Insecurity and Possible Guilt and the biggest one is Fear." Your choices are 1, to make him get counseling of which is a long hard road with a medium chance of success, 2, Staying with him and being miserable or 3, Search for a better life. Sorry but it looks like you made a poor choice for yourself about who you should be married to. All to often people allow themselves and their actions to be ruled by their emotions and it often works against them.
2007-01-03 02:22:18 · answer #2 · answered by . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but spouses often accuse the other spouse of things THEY are doing. It sounds to me like he's the one cheating but by putting the focus on you it takes the focus off of him. I would dig a little deeper to find out what's really going on. You know he's cheated in the past so he's very capable. The signs are there. Check it out.
2007-01-03 02:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by Pamela 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ack, the typical control freak. You need to confront him and warn him that if he keeps acting this way, you're going to leave him. He has no reason not to trust you. If he doesn't change his overly-paranoid ways, get out while you still can. It will be better for everyone, especially your child.
2007-01-03 02:10:13 · answer #4 · answered by Alicia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow..been there..he just likes to be controling. Controlling men are usually the one holding the quilt..they will belitle you into thinking you did something wrong. They want it to be all your fault so they are not responsible at all.
I would say its the other way around and he is hiding it by pointing the fingure at you so you won't notice.
2007-01-03 02:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those who point fingers have 3 pointing back at them. He is probably the cheater. A thief is more worried about theft than the victims.
ditch him
2007-01-03 02:09:07 · answer #6 · answered by hogie0101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this loser already.
In the alternative, get some counseling. If he refuses or balks, then get out of there. There is nothing healthy about this relationship. And if you won't do it for yourself, do it for your kid. Because the role models you present for him/her are the ones he/she will carry through their adult life.
So, get help for the both of you or get out.
2007-01-03 02:07:45 · answer #7 · answered by auken_hill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like red flags are going off, I would talk to him about it. If you comfront him about it first I feel he will see it in a posotive light. Try to be sweet about so he does'nt try to flip things on you. He sounds like the typical male breadwinner that feels he is king of his domain and is also paranoid about, so try to be careful about bringing this up. Be sweet and let him know how you feel.
2007-01-03 02:08:03 · answer #8 · answered by nycballin79 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make him go to counseling with you or threaten divorce or you will have to deal with it the rest of your married life.
My ex was the same
2007-01-03 02:04:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he obvoiusly doesn't respect you seeing as he thinks that all women are whores... just because he has had bad luck in all of his relationships... doesn't mean you have to.
good luck
xx
2007-01-03 02:08:41 · answer #10 · answered by ruthybabe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋