What do you wish the response would be? Why do we ask questions when we don't really want a full blown answer? I am so guilty of it.
I just wish they would say "Good and you?", "good thanks" and then move on anyone else feel the same or am i just a rude impatient b*tch?
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2007-01-02 17:48:51 · 16 answers · asked by Aussie Angel 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
It's human behaviour.
I call them tapes, and actually it's an integral part of the communication process, you just encounter people that don't play right...
Typically, when you see someone, there's this ritual that occurs. There's no thinking involved as it's more of a feeling out process. It's as though the guy in your brain sees the situation, puts a tape in the player and automatically you smile and say something like, "Hey, how you doing?"
Then the recipient of the message does the same thing and his tape player spits out, "Oh hey!, I'm okay, what about you?"
What's really going on is that you are discerning if this is friend or foe, good mood or bad mood. Is this a person I wish to continue talking to at the moment, or do I stay away until lunch?
Then the real communication is supposed to begin.
With familiarity, or other stuff, some people you interact blow off the "tape" portion of the process and go right into the real communication mode.
That's why when you offer a "tape" stimulus, they actually perceive it as a real question and that you are truly asking for a (mostly long winded) response.
What I would suggest so that you don't find yourself in those situations is to give them a different stimulus.
All you are really doing is being polite and acknowledging their existence, so to speak. You really don't care about their sister's youngest daughter's battle with a yeast infection...
Instead of saying, "Hi, how have you been..." Just smile loudly, and give them a friendly, "Hey!"
Then let them smile at you, and walk away.
This will hopefully put them back in "tape" response mode.
2007-01-02 18:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by LongSnapper 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't even bother answering fake-sincerity questions, the cold uncaring "how are you?" from some cashiers who really, really don't give a damn at all. They shouldn't ask if they don't give a sh...care, and its none of their business anyway.
However, with co-workers, sometimes you have to go through the motions of polite behaviour anyways to prevent antagonism setting in; you'll actually benefit from it overall. Maybe we all need to give it a try to add a tiny bit of genuine care in it, and tolerance for any answer, since you did ask. If you get a full blown answer, it could be entertaining. Usually (in Canada) the response almost always IS just the routine, polite reply, "Good, and you?" and forwards, on with business. Thats nice. You could also just say Good morning !!! and smile, and get on with business. If you don't want to risk getting a long story, don't ask an open-ended question. A pleasant statement (instead of a question) is more efficient, and still pleasant for everyone. Thats what they do in Germany and their economy is rich and productive, and its usually what I do too in Canada. It works !
Good night ;)
2007-01-03 01:54:36 · answer #2 · answered by million$gon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's fine to say "Hi," but you're not obligated to say things like, "How have you been?" or "What's up?" Just stick with "hey" and "hi." Then you won't have to go through a 10 minute response from someone.
If you really want to know how that person is, go ask them later when you actually feel like having a conversation.
I know what you mean though. But when you say, "How have you been," that gives people the open opportunity to tell you how they've been. Perhaps they felt like venting that day. Maybe you caught them on a day where they needed someone to talk to. Who knows? Heh.
2007-01-03 02:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean. The worst time is on a Monday, when you're expected to ask about someone's weekend when you REALLY don't want to hear about it. However, you don't have to ask someone how they are. You could just say, "hello," and follow it up with a comment, like, "Beautiful day, isn't it"? Most people will just say, "yes" and move on. Then you've gotten points for being friendly without having to subject yourself to a long, drawn out conversation!
2007-01-03 01:56:13 · answer #4 · answered by SammyBoo 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately I totally agree with you...I have complained to my friends about this for years and years, saying we live in this superficial world and ppl are for the most superficial.Don't believe me still? Well, sometimes I am not even finished with the question, and they already finished saying their pre-programmed answer: -Not bad & you!?Sometimes I even tried the following: Hey! X, how's your hair today? And the man with no hair actually answered : As always, beautiful!
2007-01-03 04:04:23 · answer #5 · answered by Sherluck 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yeah, I agree, we're all guilty of being rude and impatient b.tches now a days. We all should slow down like Aussies do.
2007-01-03 01:56:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
When I say "Hi, How have you been?" to a work colleague I normally get the middle finger.
2007-01-03 02:07:39 · answer #7 · answered by ARRrrgh! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. me too. I answer this question in one of two ways.
#1 I'm fine, and you?
#2 Ask me another day. (translation-not so good, but you don't want to hear about it!)
2007-01-03 01:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by Jon's Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
=] No your not impatient, i wouldn't want to talk for 10 minutes either
2007-01-03 01:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I hate it when you ask the how they are and they give you the whole story of their life.
2007-01-03 01:58:36 · answer #10 · answered by OnThe36th 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋