I have been with my husband for 9 years. I am still deeply in love with him, but I think he may have some sort of drug problem. I have found numous amounts of evidence and of course he has excuses for it all. He admits to have done things a couple of times but that he doesn't have any drug problems. My main reason for thinking he does is because his eyes are dialted 80% of the time I am around him and he doesn't get but about 4 hours of sleep every night. He is very good to me other than this issue. He is a good provider and a great father, but I have never touched a drug in my life not even ever a cigarette so I don't want to put up with someone else having a problem. Please help!
2007-01-02 17:40:40 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are his wife, you need to help him get through this. His addiction is like a sickness that you need to help him get through. (Remember you made a promise...in sickness and in health). He needs your help to get through it, and it won't happen right away, you need to be patient. he may not be so open to you helping him right away either, remember the first step is admitting the problem (which isn't easy). I have never touched any drug, and I wouldn't like it if my husband did drugs either, but I would try to get him to quit, before I gave up on him. I would however leave my husband if he wouldn't quit over a long period of time, and if it was destroying my family. Remember, you can receive all the advice in the world, but in the end only you can make the final decision. Good Luck!
2007-01-02 17:54:20 · answer #1 · answered by Nautalee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the druggie does not admit to having a drug problem, to them all is fine in their world, they can handle it, whether it's smoking, snorting or shooting they have it all under control. And no they would never admit to doing it all the time, always it's just a couple times just to see what it was like. Don't listen to these butt heads here about how wrong you are in thinking about leaving him "cause he is good to you"...that's a load of crap if ever there was one. If he's doing ANYTHING that is not a perscription from a bonifide doctor, I don't care if he gives you an allowence of a $1,000 a week for yourself, a home in Beverly Hills and a sportscar to drive to the local market...give him a year or two on his downhill drug habit and you may very well find yourself without any money or home or car...not to mention your family will turn against you for allowing the children around a doper and you could very well be on here and tell us about the abuse you live with daily because money is so scarse and he is being physically and verbally abusive to you for drugs do change a persons character. I know, I was just like you. But I ignored his little flaw thinking I could change him or try to talk to him about his little problem. After a year I asked him to seek help, he was beyond any help by then, his feeling good was more important than any help, no one will ever have finacial security or a happy marriage where drugs are part of the equation
2007-01-02 18:12:38 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be a good provider and a good husband but that is about to change if he has a drug problem and it does sound like he has one. It also sounds like this has been going on for a while so before he ruins both of your lives get him to go to outpatient or inpatient rehab. QUICK! Give him the ultimatum. Don't be afraid to do that because he is doing worse by putting you and his children in danger. Leaving him now would be the smart thing to do than looking back 5 yrs from now and wishing you had. Asking a public forum is nothing to be ashamed of either. Sometimes you get better answers from people who don't know you than those who do know you and think you could survive with a drug addicted spouse.
2007-01-02 17:52:02 · answer #3 · answered by forme2poopon73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost you have to consider the well being of your kids - if you have children living at home. It's a big potential problem there.
Otherwise the question you need to answer is if you want to spend the rest of your life with this man because of a possible drug habbit. And it could put you or your kids in danger at any time from his behavior, or a pissed of dealer. The police could find him out from another source and take him away and possibly have Social Services remove you kids from a high risk home.
2007-01-02 17:48:38 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave him, especially since he is good to you. If he does have a drug problem, the last thing he needs is to lose the love of his life to worsen his problem. Try confronting him, if he won't admit it and cannot prove it, have him take a drug test. Rehab would be the next step for him. Always be by his side, he needs support in his time of need.
2007-01-02 17:43:54 · answer #5 · answered by cloudyskies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF he has a drug problem and it is not affecting you or the family..... then simply accept that it is not affecting you or the family....
dilated pupils are a sign of drug use, too much light, some eye disorders, and the use of properly prescribed medications...that makes it a really poor reason to jump to the conclusion that he is taking drugs improperly...
it is possible he has an illness and is being treated for it and he does not wwant to bother or scare you about it...
it is possible he is overly tired...
there are lots of possibilities and you wont find the answers here on the internet... go and talk to him...
2007-01-02 18:35:01 · answer #6 · answered by wollemi_pine_writer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should tell him that even though he says he's not you feel like he has a drug problem an you don't like it and are not going to put up with it. drugs can seem like some thing small but its not. my step dad got on drugs and he started selling stuff out of our house for them. he even took the toilet, yes the whole thing. my mom left him because of drugs but i think you should stop the problem before it gets too bad.also if you have kids and he's doing drugs those kids could be taken so be careful.
2007-01-02 17:53:30 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Dennis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married him for better or for worse. You at least need to sit him down about how you're suspicious of the fact that he's doing drugs. Drugs are NOT okay. BUT - you owe it to the 9 years you've been married to this man to help him stop or get counseling before you make any solid decisions on whether to stay or go.
2007-01-02 17:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by karespromise 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In sickness & in health.....til death do you part. If he's not abusing you or the kids & he is providing then he loves you and values his family. That said, it does sound like he has a definite problem. You need to set up an intervention like the ones on TV. If he refuses to get help then you may have to give tough love and leave until he gets himself straightened out. That doesn't mean you have to divorce him. Give him a wake up call. You can still love him & be married to him but be removed from the bad situation. You don't want your kids to ever see that or be influenced in that way. I pray God will give you guidance & help wisdom to make the right decision.
2007-01-02 17:51:10 · answer #9 · answered by Pamela 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Only YOU can answer that!
Here's something, you claim to be deeply in love with him, BUT, is it deep enough to be by his side with his drug problem?
When in love, there should be an automatic answer!
And like someone else on here said, you married for "Better or worse!"
Think these points over!!!!!
2007-01-02 17:50:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋