I've been dating a guy for over a month. We've gone out on a few dates and talked over the phone and online. We were initially attracted to each other physically, but I don't feel as if we know each other well. I have suggested things to do to get to know him more, but It seems as if his is too busy or he has other plans. He says he is interested but he wants to take it slow. He is the kind of guy who dates one person at a time, which I respect. I really like the guy but I am wondering how long I should wait for him to figure out if he is ready for a relationship? and what is the consensus on dating more than one person?
2007-01-02 15:26:16 · 11 answers · asked by confused 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I am a gay male.
2007-01-02 15:26:48 · update #1
Please stay on the subject and ignore the first responder. I really need the advice. Thanks.
2007-01-02 15:41:03 · update #2
Nothing wrong with taking things slow. It is easy to get excited about someone new, especially if you have things in common. Take your time, work on becoming good friends. If things grow beyond that great, worse case scenario you end up with a good friend that can lend an ear and shoulder next time you have questions.
As for dating, I see nothing wrong with dating more than one person at a time. I think at some point 2 people can decide that they want to date exclusively. When that agreement is reached, each of you should honor the promise to each other.
2007-01-02 16:01:53 · answer #1 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are NOT in a committed relationship then it is fair to visit the ranch and check out the cowboys, if you know what I mean. When 2 people decide that they are right for eachother, which can definately take some time, then they should concentrate on just them. I know you like this person a lot, yet it can be a challenge to get to know him more and that frustration will cause bad vibes between you both. Tell him you value what you know so far but will be busy sometimes too, check out more men and then when your heart THUMPS you have found mr right, well at least hope you do. Be good and take it easy and slow too, but do not get run over by others passing you by....
2007-01-03 02:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are strange sometimes.
Personaly, I'd let him think and take it slowly until he's ready. As for the dating more than one person, personally I don't like it becuase it may show the other person that you're a "player" type and you may not really care who your with or that the one person is good enough. If you really want to go out with another person as wel, maybe ask him if he's okay with it.
I know I have a gay guy friend that goes out with multiple people. When I asked him if it was "cheating" on one person he said somthing along the lines of the fact that he wasn't in a serious relationship with any of them and that they were just going on a few dates didn't make it cheating.
What ever you do, good luck and best of wishes!
2007-01-02 23:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it seems like you care and are interested in him enough to hesitate on moving on right away. Maybe give it a month or less and see what happens. Try to do things with him, but dont wait by the phone. Still go out with friends and have fun, just give the "relationship" a chance and see what happens.
2007-01-03 00:00:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GBL, I would like to "educate" as well.
You say lust is the evil of the world? Your telling me you feel no "lust" for your wife? No "lust" to go eat that chocolate bar when you know you should be watching your diet?
No my friend, lust is not the evil of the world.
Harm is the evil of the world.
Picture this, you would rather be friends with an ex-murder than a good man, that contributes in every way to society, just because the good man was a homosexual?
Truly rediculous.
Listen, even if you are zealous in your faith.
A) God is a loving god. He forgives. He loves all his children. ALL. DO NOT FORGET THIS.
B) It is God's right to judge, not yours.
So please, keep the unjust judgement of others to yourself.
To the OP, just do what you feel right = ). Give it a little more time, and don't give up trying to know him.
2007-01-02 23:38:56 · answer #5 · answered by Gilirel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its only been a month. I don't think its at a relationship stage yet. The problem is a trust issue. Do some nice things. Call when you say you are going to. Be reliable. He will come around.
I think your guy just doesn't want to get his heart stomped on.
2007-01-02 23:41:57 · answer #6 · answered by Jude M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him if he likes what he is seeing.
and if he is comfortable with you.
this is key.
i understand taking things slow, but how slow is slow.?
have both of you been checked for hiv and std's?
and shared the info with each other?
that is my concept of slow.
these are things that are basic if you are going slow.
i also think if you do not choose my answer as the best,
your line of thinking is wrong.
if these things have not been done , in the sense of slow,
move on because you need to.
good luck.
2007-01-03 02:30:29 · answer #7 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to respect his wishes. Suggest going somewhere together where you can get to know each other. I do not recommend dating someone else if you really want to make things work with this guy.
2007-01-02 23:56:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to the first respondant! Be yourself :).
As for the time thing I'm really not the best one to say but I agree with talking it over with him about what both your next steps should be.
Good luck :)
2007-01-02 23:37:46 · answer #9 · answered by Gene M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok you shjoudl just try to talk to him about it. If it's not as serious for you, then it's ok to date other people. It's all about you sweety.
To the guy who answered with "God this" and "God that" get a life. He needed some simple advice... he doesn't need you to judge him. That's not what "God" would want.
For goodness sakes... he's not talking about marrying the guy! you are so irrelevant...
Loser.
2007-01-02 23:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋