I have a 14 yr old daughter. Never been a strong student usually C's with a couple B's thrown in here and there. She started 8th grade out in the "IN" crowd. Backstabbing and fights within the group everyday. It was hard on me no telling how she managed. Two weeks in to school a girl was picking on a friend of my daughter and my daughter stepped in, long story short she hit her and got suspended. My daughter has never been in trouble in school always had pleasent in class, good participant, etc... So this surprised her father and I. She missed cheerleading tryouts were held during her suspension. She failed English so she couldn't tryout for volleyball. Things have been just getting worse she cries about school, friends, everything about school. We don't know what to do. She refuses to talk to counselor becasue she is scared kids will find out and things will be worse. We don't know where to turn next.
2007-01-02 15:17:42 · 12 answers · asked by coach 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
She's the child, and if she needs to talk to a therapist, she needs to talk to a therapist. You're the parent, you make the decision. Don't be one of those parents that gets wrapped up in the social drama, that really doesn't mean anything. When you're 14, your world changes on an hourly basis. If you freak out with her, then you're hurting not helping. Not being a cheerleader or not playing volleyball isn't going to scar her for life. She's 14, there's always next year. I did both of those things in high school, and it didn't really do anything for me now.
You have to remember, despite how surprising it was that she hit somebody, she still did it. You can't just hit people, and she obviously lacks self control. It's important that she recognize the consequences of her actions. She hit someone, then as a result, she didn't get to do the things she wanted to do. Instead of throwing her a pitty party (and blaming others for your daughter's actions) You should turn this into a learning experience for her, a chance to grow up just a smidge.
2007-01-02 18:39:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Mom,
This same thing happen to my daughter in the 8th grade. She is now 16 and on principles honor roll. This is how. I pulled her completly out of that school and sent her to a different school accross town. New people, new friends and a new start. It will be impossible for her to break free from the friends she has and the hold thay have on her being just like them. Giving her a freash start at a new school and telling her that this is her opportunity to change her life before it is too late, will wake her up. My daughter was on the cheer squad and we walk in that school packed her things in front of her class and walked her right out of there with the Principle. She lost the cheer squad she worked so hard to be on and the next day she was in a new school. This was not at the end of a semester, it was mid semester. Her grades went up right away. She had to make new friends and she had time to see how she got to this piont. Take her out of the friend circle and do it very publicly. She will see that you as parents are untied and are not putting up with her attitude. My daughter takes her grades sereously now, she knows what we are capable of doing if she does not keep her life in order.
Good Luck and Stay Strong
2007-01-03 03:53:57 · answer #2 · answered by Tracylyn S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the state. In some states, sex with a 14 year old girl is illegal under all conditions, but it is not considered statutory rape, but something else. One thing is certain though - in EVERY state it is dangerous and ill-advised for a 14 year old to have sex. You aren't prepared for the consequences - getting pregnant, getting an STD, having your self-esteem crushed by thinking your whole identity comes from that space between your legs.
2016-03-29 05:26:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a good thing to help a friend but she didnt have to go hit her. Instead of crying about school she should do something about her problems. If she wants to get better in english, tell her to concentrate more on the things that she is failing on. Im only 14 so i dont know how helpful this answer is cause im not a parent or nothin. Hope this helps.
2007-01-02 19:06:52 · answer #4 · answered by Kenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should concentrate more on schoolwork than get into catfights. You should tell her that either she keeps her grades up, or no cheerleading, hanging out with friends, etc. Another thing is that she should stop worrying what other people think. Although I like her loyalty to her firend that got picked on, she should help her friend in a healthy way instead of fighting. Tell her her true friends would like her for who she really is, not because she's in cheerleading or because she's in the "in" crowd. Who would rather have a lot of fake friends instead of a few true friends?
2007-01-02 17:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by Christine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Praise her for wanting to stick up for her friend, but getting in a fist fight -no! I agree with the guy that said for you to pull her out of there. If her grades happen not to improve after that, get her a tutor. Thing about this age is that it is a lot of peer pressure and manicly fluctuating hormones. If you've given her good moral training, that will win out in the end. Get her the counseling she needs also. It does not have to be with the school counselor. No one has to know that she is going if she doesn't want anyone to know. I would search out a good psychologist that is board certified and experienced with adolescents. Involvement with a good church youth group is extremely helpful. Gods best blessings to you and your whole family.
2007-01-03 09:47:05 · answer #6 · answered by jnjsnana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in 8th grade too. Its really tough. Friends are here and there, everybody lies. Its just horrible. It is very hard to cope with. help her with school work...this way she can get her grades up and be able to try out for other things. You also need to keep her grades up so she isn't held back. I don't blame her for not wanting to talk to teh counselor; everybody talks about you. Like I said, friends are on and off...8th grade is fun, but horrible. The drama pilies higher everyday...gossip all of the time. Just help her with her grades, hold her when she cries. Tell her it was right to stick up for her friend, but only hit in self-defense.
help her, hold her, don't let her go
2007-01-03 03:31:49 · answer #7 · answered by Sara B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you sit down with her and ask her to talk about where she wants to be? Kind of like New Year's resolution time... instead of just drifting see if you can get her to establish some self-driven goals that will serve as a mantra for her. She is facing the consequences of her actions and it is painful. What you have to do is help her work toward positive consequences through positive actions.
What do you want to do? Where do you want to be? How are you going to get there?
I would sit down with her and read "7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens." It will serve her well over the next few years.
2007-01-03 03:48:48 · answer #8 · answered by kramerdnewf 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to teach her a thing or two. Maybe a trip to the woodshed, or the living room as the case may be, for some attention via paddle to her bare behind might do the trick.
2007-01-03 02:31:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be less involved in your daughter's life... before she develops an eating disorder. she's 14 now she will have to figure some things out on her own. whatever you do don't send her to tranquility bay in jamaica.
2007-01-03 02:26:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋